Don't Crytek

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Crytek UK is falling apart, and it turns out Rebellion is a patent troll.

Vital Statistics

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Date: July 22, 2014

Written and Performed by: Graham Stark, Kathleen De Vere, Paul Saunders

Story Graphics: Paul Saunders

CheckPoint Graphics: Graham Stark

Music: Bradley Rains

Produced by: Graham Stark, Paul Saunders


How do you develop a game with no developers? Let's ask Crytek UK.


  • Rebellion Developments are being dicks about other games using the word "rebellion."
  • The FTC is suing Amazon for its billing practices.
  • Crytek UK is losing its employees.
  • Team 17 almost lost its favorite franchise because of a terrible contract.
  • There's now a limited-edition Frozen-themed PS4...only in Japan.

Coming Up

Powerhoof's upcoming game Crawl has been delayed owing to legal vagaries surrounding their recent shift from a partnership into an actual company. Having just made that same move at the beginning of this year, we know that feel. Chin up.


  • Graham and Kathleen have just returned from vacation. Graham got sunburned, and Kathleen is just as pale as usual.
  • Kathleen claims to hate both joy and the song Let It Go.
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