Suspend Your Disbelief Transcript

Transcript for Suspend Your Disbelief

Transcript

{Fade in on Pat and Andy sitting on a bench, talking.}

PAT: And it fades, like, in the middle of a conversation or something.

ANDY: What does?

PAT: In medias res, like, y'know, the middle of a fight, or a conversation, or... I dunno.

ANDY: Oh, yeah. Yeah, they do that a lot in musicals.

PAT: Yeah. Musicals are absurd.

ANDY: How so?

PAT: Well, to start with, the music comes out of absolutely nowhere.

{Music starts}

ANDY: {singing}
I hear an underscore...
Can you hear it?

PAT: Hear what?

ANDY: {singing}
I feel a song in store...
Can you feel it?

PAT: Oh, Christ...

ANDY: {singing}
It may be corny, and cheesy, I know

PAT: Please, stop.

ANDY: {singing}
But that's why I love it so.
'Cause...
Life's more worth living for,
with music.

ANDY: Hang on, you know what this needs? Cinemascope!

{Sudden zoom out and letterboxing to a 20:9 aspect ratio. A hat is thrown in from off shot, and Andy catches it and puts it on.}

ANDY: Awesome.

{Pat and Andy get up from the bench and start walking, in time with the music.}

ANDY: {singing}
Come along with me my friend,
let me tell you 'bout the music.
Let me help you comprehend,
before you start to lose it.

PAT: Too late.

ANDY: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: Stop it.

ANDY: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: Ugh. Look, musicals are stupid.

ANDY: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: Yeah, and I'll tell you why.

ANDY: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: OK, you see, musicals they're retarded. They don't make any sense. Y'see, there's all this stuff going on, and they've got everyday people dancing in time...

ANDY: {singing}
That's the idea!

PAT: And you see all these people, they have to speak in rhyme.

ANDY: {singing}
That's the idea!

If your everyday life is getting you down,
and you're looking for relief,
just escape through a musical,
suspend your disbelief.

When laundry, traffic, work and taxes
cause you so much pain,
just think of old Gene Kelly,
when he was singin' in the rain!

{Andy takes the umbrella from a passing Rachelle, and starts dancing with it, to the tune of Singin' in the Rain.}

RACHELLE: Hey, buddy, give that back!

ANDY: But it illustrates a Gene Kelly reference so poignantly...

RACHELLE: You stay right there, I'm calling campus security.

ANDY: Wait!

ANDY: {singing}
Can you hear an underscore?

RACHELLE: {singing}
Yes, I hear it...

ANDY: {singing}
Can you feel a song in store?

RACHELLE: {singing}
Yes, I feel it!

There's a melody calling me there...

ANDY: {singing}
It's never too late to begin.

RACHELLE: {singing}
It's lifting me into the air.

ANDY: {singing}
I knew it could, kid.

RACHELLE: {singing}
Gee, life's more worth living for,

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
With music.

PAT: Uh, this is ridiculous.

RACHELLE: But that's why it's so great!

ANDY: Yeah!

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along with us and see
how the sparkle and the spangle
can jazz up your old routine,
take the world from a new angle.

Come along!

PAT: No.

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: Yeah, I'm just gonna step off a bridge.

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: Geeze...

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: Look you guys, you just don't get it. I mean... The sets are too loud, and the characters dance.

ANDY: {singing}
That's the idea!

PAT: The plots are contrived and don't make any sense!

RACHELLE: {singing}
That's the idea!

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
If your everyday life is getting you down,
and you're looking for relief,
just escape through a musical,
suspend your disbelief.

Take Rodgers and Hammerstein, Sondheim and Webber,
Gershwin and Fosse and mix them together.
Add in some singers like Andrews and Garland ,
Crosby and Kelly, we're just getting started...

ANDY:' Whattaya say, pal?

PAT: {singing} I can hear it!

ANDY, RACHELLE & PAT: {singing} Hallelujah!

PAT: I understand now! It's all around me!

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: It's like my whole world is in a key change!

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: There it is!

ANDY & RACHELLE: {singing}
Come along!

PAT: {singing}
I want a Gilbert and Sullivan orchestration,
and a Webber rock opera innovation!

If your everyday life is bringing you down,
and you're looking for relief,
just escape through a musical,
suspend your disbelief.

ANDY, RACHELLE & PAT: {singing}
When sailors dance and break into song,
just remember the phrase that will help you along.
We could sing it for days, but we'll put it in brief:
Suspend your disbelief!