Difference between revisions of "Qwerpline Ep47 - Homecoming Goose"
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==Vital Statistics== | ==Vital Statistics== | ||
| − | [[File:Qwerpline-logo- | + | [[File:Qwerpline-logo-ep47.jpg|200px|thumb|right||Ep. 47 Titlecard]] |
{{VitalStatisticsQwerpline | {{VitalStatisticsQwerpline | ||
| − | |Date = March | + | |Date = March 25, 2024 |
|Cohost1 = Graham Stark | |Cohost1 = Graham Stark | ||
| Line 16: | Line 15: | ||
|MusicBy = Bradley Rains | |MusicBy = Bradley Rains | ||
| − | |Description = | + | |Description = Lorna’s back to help us all further, and Derek goes back to prom again for the first time. |
|Runtime = 23:20 | |Runtime = 23:20 | ||
| − | |Slogan1 = | + | |Slogan1 = Bang it to fit or paint it to match |
| − | |Slogan2 = | + | |Slogan2 = That one was popular for a long time |
| − | |Sponsor1 = | + | |Sponsor1 = Young Buck Dumb Luck Nunchuk |
| − | |Sponsor2 = | + | |Sponsor2 = From the fishing game enthusiasts at Young Buck Sporting, just yeet our state-of-the-art nunchuck into the air and the inbuilt gyro will smack it into the head of the nearest animal |
}} | }} | ||
==News== | ==News== | ||
| + | * Nominations are open for the first round of competitors in this year's Big Pig Fuck-off. | ||
| + | * Mayor Dick Thurpston slashed the city's annual parade budget; a move that has drawn considerable ire from the local Arts Community. | ||
| + | ** The Nsburg Arts Council has joined the Nsburg Nudist Topiary Club's existing sit-in in solidarity, swelling the numbers to 2200 people. | ||
| + | ** The (protest at the municipal) Town Hall has now entirely engulfed the (bar, the) Town Hall. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Health== | ||
| + | * [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Lorna Schlitzwhistle|Lorna]] has been using the "magical suckhole"in her living room wall (actually an input of the Pipesmen's pneumatic tube system) as a vacuum cleaner. She then invites listeners to call in with what they have been using their suckholes for: | ||
| + | ** [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Zach Forrester|Pastor Zach Forrester]] has been having his congregation write their sins down onto a piece of paper, throw it in the tube, and when he sees them in a week or two, he can just absolve them remotely. | ||
| + | ** [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Greg Ficcke|Greg Ficcke]] has been using his to vacuum up anything that's a choking hazard like Cheerios, bent nails, or loose Lego. He's can't find the collection point, so has been buying more and more Lego. | ||
| + | ** [[List of Qwerpline Characters#Darren von Spront|Darren von Spront]] has been using his to clear out the errant gases from his vacuum chamber. The vapor is highly radioactive. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Traffic== | ||
| + | * [[Richter Hammockslam|Richter]] has converted a 7-story grain silo into "Richter Hammockslam's Graduation Delivery Air Limousine", ferrying graduates from Nsburg Central High, Raster Academy, or Chum Tech to the Juvenile Town Hall. It is based it off of designs he drew into my notebooks back in elementary school and cleaned up during his junior high drafting options. It is a fully licensed establishment, with a bartender on hand to check ID, and a dancer poll that connects all seven stories. It was originally planned to change your clothes as you went down it, but only works one-way so presumably rips any user's clothes off. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Live on Location== | ||
| + | * [[Derek the Intern|Derek]] is at Nsburg High School to report on the prom. He is, again, confused to be back at the school. His "research" involved asking his father, who went 7 times. The advice he got was: | ||
| + | # Everyone loves how a man looks in a tux, so Derek got one. His measurements are 2 years old and apparently he's still growing, so he's already burst through the shoulders and it doesn't close quite right around his chest | ||
| + | # Everyone needs underwear to get lucky. So Derek drew some fourleaf clovers on my hands and is using them as a pocket square. | ||
| + | # You need to go to the pharmacy to get supplies ''wink wink''. So Derek picked him up some eye drops. He thinks his dad has a blinking problem. | ||
| + | # Prom is better with alcohol. Derek thinks this is a leftover for his dad went to prom in his 20s. | ||
| + | * Derek never went to his own prom. | ||
| + | * Derek saves the Nsburg High Homecoming Cygnet from one of the Pipesmen's pneumatic tube system inlets by bending the pipe with his bare hands to cut off the suction. For this, he is named Homecoming King. | ||
==After the Break== | ==After the Break== | ||
| + | * Nsburg Bug Patrol are holding the quadrennial running of the round worms. | ||
| + | * Roland's Round Table of Ribs is bringing back all you can eat leftover nights every Wednesday. | ||
| + | ** Really seems like a snake eating its own tail kind of affair. | ||
| + | ** Yeah, some sort of ou''rib''oros. | ||
{{QwerplineNavigation | {{QwerplineNavigation | ||
Latest revision as of 12:04, 26 March 2024
Vital Statistics
Date: March 25, 2024
Category: Qwerpline
Appearing: Graham Stark, Alex Steacy, Kathleen De Vere, Brendan "Beej" Dery, Ian Horner
Edited by: Kathleen De Vere
Graphics: Graham Stark
Illustrations: Featherweight
Music: Bradley Rains
Description: Lorna’s back to help us all further, and Derek goes back to prom again for the first time.
Runtime: 23:20
Slogan: Bang it to fit or paint it to match
- That one was popular for a long time
Sponsor: Young Buck Dumb Luck Nunchuk From the fishing game enthusiasts at Young Buck Sporting, just yeet our state-of-the-art nunchuck into the air and the inbuilt gyro will smack it into the head of the nearest animal
News
- Nominations are open for the first round of competitors in this year's Big Pig Fuck-off.
- Mayor Dick Thurpston slashed the city's annual parade budget; a move that has drawn considerable ire from the local Arts Community.
- The Nsburg Arts Council has joined the Nsburg Nudist Topiary Club's existing sit-in in solidarity, swelling the numbers to 2200 people.
- The (protest at the municipal) Town Hall has now entirely engulfed the (bar, the) Town Hall.
Health
- Lorna has been using the "magical suckhole"in her living room wall (actually an input of the Pipesmen's pneumatic tube system) as a vacuum cleaner. She then invites listeners to call in with what they have been using their suckholes for:
- Pastor Zach Forrester has been having his congregation write their sins down onto a piece of paper, throw it in the tube, and when he sees them in a week or two, he can just absolve them remotely.
- Greg Ficcke has been using his to vacuum up anything that's a choking hazard like Cheerios, bent nails, or loose Lego. He's can't find the collection point, so has been buying more and more Lego.
- Darren von Spront has been using his to clear out the errant gases from his vacuum chamber. The vapor is highly radioactive.
Traffic
- Richter has converted a 7-story grain silo into "Richter Hammockslam's Graduation Delivery Air Limousine", ferrying graduates from Nsburg Central High, Raster Academy, or Chum Tech to the Juvenile Town Hall. It is based it off of designs he drew into my notebooks back in elementary school and cleaned up during his junior high drafting options. It is a fully licensed establishment, with a bartender on hand to check ID, and a dancer poll that connects all seven stories. It was originally planned to change your clothes as you went down it, but only works one-way so presumably rips any user's clothes off.
Live on Location
- Derek is at Nsburg High School to report on the prom. He is, again, confused to be back at the school. His "research" involved asking his father, who went 7 times. The advice he got was:
- Everyone loves how a man looks in a tux, so Derek got one. His measurements are 2 years old and apparently he's still growing, so he's already burst through the shoulders and it doesn't close quite right around his chest
- Everyone needs underwear to get lucky. So Derek drew some fourleaf clovers on my hands and is using them as a pocket square.
- You need to go to the pharmacy to get supplies wink wink. So Derek picked him up some eye drops. He thinks his dad has a blinking problem.
- Prom is better with alcohol. Derek thinks this is a leftover for his dad went to prom in his 20s.
- Derek never went to his own prom.
- Derek saves the Nsburg High Homecoming Cygnet from one of the Pipesmen's pneumatic tube system inlets by bending the pipe with his bare hands to cut off the suction. For this, he is named Homecoming King.
After the Break
- Nsburg Bug Patrol are holding the quadrennial running of the round worms.
- Roland's Round Table of Ribs is bringing back all you can eat leftover nights every Wednesday.
- Really seems like a snake eating its own tail kind of affair.
- Yeah, some sort of ouriboros.
