Derek the Intern
Derek is a "summer" intern at QWRP who conducts most of the station's remote interviews. Derek thinks of himself as a hard-hitting investigative journalist, but in reality he's not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. Graham and Alex are continually frustrated by his incompetence, although according to Alex, he's QWRP's best intern yet. He may be getting better at his job, but it's a game of inches. He often charges expenses to the radio station despite being repeatedly told he's not allowed to do so, and has twice landed a date during an interview. Kaylee at the Wiener Czar attributes this to him being "surprisingly cut." He is definitely nineteen years old.
Derek goes to synagogue, although he thinks he goes to church. His parents seem to have moved to Nsburg when he was very young. He was in Berg Scouts as a child and earned his Pothole Badge. He attended both Nsburg High School (until they told him he didn't have to come back) and a vocational school, where he failed a class in either "irony" or "ivory." His birth seems to have been an accident which his father resents.
Since Richard Therpston perished during his interview in Episode 6, Derek believes the late aldersm'n's ghost now lives inside him. He therefore ran for aldersm'n in Episode 7, but lost. In Episode 9 Derek discovered the lost Maze Runners in the Nsburg Rum Tunnels, leading to him being awarded the Key to the City in Episode 10. In Episode 17 he accidentally-on-purpose dumped a pile of municipal property deeds into the Nsburg Property Lottery (including the one for the QWRP FM broadcast office), leading to a great deal of complicated property exchanges.
- He's 19!
- He really doesn't want to take shop class again. Not after what happened with the leather punch.
- The Nsburg Career Center aptitude test gave his ideal career as "radio intern."
- He knows the names of the Seven Immortals.
- He once spent a whole night in the collections box at the recycling center.
- He knows an upsetting amount about plutonium.
- He has attended Burning Man.
- He likes watching Unsolved Mysteries.
- His father was a member of the Secret Pipesmen.
- He claims to remember the 1986 Nsburg Christmas parade, despite being 19. It's possible that Richard Therpston's ghost is the one remembering the parade.
- He has twice badly damaged the QWRP FM mobile broadcast van - once by going through a carwash with the antenna still attached, and once by driving it over a spike strip.