Timeline of the LRRd

The Timeline of the LRRd is an attempt to catalogue the events (Past, present, and future) in the LRRverse, wherein most of the LRR videos occur. Much of it was created by forum member Lyinginbedmon but others have enjoyed input into the project, such as forumites Master Gunner and Dutch Guy.

The Timeline was created in response to discussion in the August 23rd 2008 LRRcast regarding a coherent, self-contained, timeline that integrated all of the "Us playing us" videos with the addition of time travel via the Time Helmet. The original version largely expanded from A Little TOO Human to document the events of the Bear Wars continuity and the ensuing time travel to prevent/mediate its effects, but has since grown to incorporate virtually every "Us playing us" video and numerous others, from High Noon to The Professor's Funhouse.

A side project that evolved from the Timeline is Phail Physics, which were created from several contributors discussing the properties of Phail in the same forum thread, in order to narrow down what videos could have been caused by it and what other impacts Paul's Phailinite Ring could have had in the history of LRR.

The Timeline exists shakily in canon LRR lore, as it is based largely on fan extrapolation and video events. As more information is released it is incorporated and revised to be as accurate as possible, and should be considered "quasi-canon".

Official response from the crew regarding the Timeline is little, but Graham has commented repeatedly in the forum thread to state his enjoyment of the discussions, and when questioned directly via the AskLRR of the October 4th 2008 LRRcast:

• James: "I think it's pretty hilarious."
• Paul: "Pretty cool."
• Jer: "Epic." (Stated in the forum thread early in the project's development)

Continuity

Continuity is what determines the timeline with respects different videos. The events of OMG! Bears! are placed before those of A Little TOO Human because the latter requires that Kathleen have already informed Graham of her ursaphobia. This is an example of continuity, where two videos relay similar information and may even reference one another (Such as Bioshocked and Installation Anxiety, where Paul's manic installations of Linux are referenced).

Not all videos have continuity, and not all videos with continuity fit precisely into the timeline. For example, we shall compare Nerd Fight, The LoadingReadyRumble, and RapStar 64K, three videos from different seasons with different levels of continuity.

• Nerd Fight - This video has no continuity. Whilst as a standalone video or a video within most of the LRR productions, it may seem to be perfectly reasonable to assume that Graham and/or Jer have the force powers and lightsabres demonstrated, Brain Transplants Made Easy clearly establishes it to the realm of "Show within a show" where all non-canon videos are placed, where it occurs as a video that the cast have filmed and released on the site.
• The LoadingReadyRumble - This video has some continuity. Within the frame of the video, many characters from previous videos appear, giving references to other sketches, which enhances it's continuity as it establishes that the characters are existent. However, the twist ending of a dream sequence renders the events of the Rumble non-canon, as they never physically happened. As with Nerd Fight above, this video is also rendered to be "Show within a show" and thus entirely non-canon.
• RapStar 64K - This video is canon. It features returning characters such as Killahbyte and 64K from previous videos, as well as other characters including Paul himself, and the events of the video do not outright contradict other videos. The video also gives canonicity to videos such as The Truce and MGS4 Boss Auditions by showing, in person, characters like Nerf Gun Bongo and the Warriors of Darkness. In some instances this is a case of retroactive continuity, whereby a later video such as RapStar gives credence to the events of a previous video that otherwise would not have any canonicity.

It is important to declare the different realms within which the timeline's canonicity is based.

• Us playing Us - The bulk of the timeline is drawn from "Us playing Us" videos, where the cast portray themselves in comical situations. In OMG! Bears! Kathleen and Graham portray themselves, whilst Paul portrays a news reporter. In this case, OMG! Bears! is canon as established by the later A Little TOO Human because it establishes that Graham is aware of Kathleen's ursaphobia, and their maulings can be rendered non-fatal albeit harmful, as this fact is left ambiguous in the video despite the "bodies" notation, allowing it to exist in the direct canon of the timeline. In some cases, interactions with Phail can explain otherwise non-canon videos into direct canon.
• Show within a show - The greater section of non-canon videos occur in a status of "Show within a show" within the timeline. These are videos that, if assumed to be part of the direct canon, would disallow or be disallowed by other canon videos. Therefore, there are assumed to be videos that exist as part of the videos produced by the cast in their "Us playing Us" personas. For example, Nerd Fight is established to be a "Show within a show" video by Brain Transplants Made Easy. This is the catch-all category for all non-canon videos.
• Conflictingly Canon - The third and final section of videos is canon videos that cannot fit into the timeline for whatever reason. These are videos that stand as canon by reference or their own merit, but which conflict with other canon videos, which would normally render them non-canon. Thanks to the One Minute Shorts video, it can be established that alternate universes exist wherein the video could be conceivably canon without error. Therefore, such conflictingly canon videos are held in alternate universes. Most are said to occur in the alternate universe visited by Jer in the aforementioned video. As the timeline only concerns the timeline which the bulk of canon videos follows, these videos are not entered. For example, commodoreHUSTLE is known to follow it's own continuity, completely separate to that of the videos that make up the timeline, so is said to occur in it's own alternate universe.

Theoretical and Evidenced Technologies

Forms of Kathleen

Although Future Kathleen has appeared in no state beyond her iPhone appearance, theories exist that set out possible future adaptations following the iPhone.

Oracle.exe

In order to transfer Kathleen's mind to Graham's iPhone, as seen in A Little TOO Human, a special program or process must have been created, as such capabilities are beyond modern technology (Even with the inclusion of Brain Transplants Made Easy), and so Oracle.exe was theorised.

"Oracle.exe" is the unofficial name of the program created by Paul in 2012 to convert Kathleen's consciousness into digital data and compress it enough to store on Graham's iPhone. This allowed Kathleen to contribute to the Human Federation after her death and made her essentially immortal as well.

Oracle.exe (Named for Barbara Gordon's post-paralysis persona) allowed Kathleen to use all the iPhone's applications and gave her limited access to its Internet capabilities. The iPhone had to be recharged every six hours that Kathleen was in operation, as Oracle.exe and her consciousness severely taxed the iPhone's power supply. Thanks to a radar app, Kathleen frequently served as a detection system, and an app that measured electronic interference allowed her to keep tabs on Ghost Bears within four miles. However, Ghost Bears handling the iPhone caused her severe pain while active due to the same electronic interference.

Despite the quick thinking of Paul and brave actions of Graham, Kathleen suffered some memory loss from the compression process and occasionally suffered temporary disorientation when her mind tried to use senses the iPhone couldn't supply.

The Upgraded Furby

Kathleen's first body after her death following the iPhone Oracle.exe program, Paul used a fourth generation Furby toy with a Linux core and significantly improved voicebox to house Kathleen.

The Furby was capable of minimal locomotion and WiFi & Bluetooth connections. Aside from a substantial electrical taser connected to its Phail reactor (At the time the smallest ever made), it was unarmed.

The Machinimaid

Powered by a chunk of the stone from Graham's Phailinite ring and using a hybrid Linux-Mac OS core, the Machinimaid was Kathleen's first humanoid body following her death in 2012. It was perpetually dressed as a conservatively-attired French Maid as part of its design implementation and its face was redesigned following Kathleen's installation to more resemble her own.

The Machinimaid was approximately three times stronger than Kathleen herself was and contained three mid-power rifles in each forearm (The middle-most rifle extending from her palm) as well as a twelve-slot sequential rocket launcher in its back.

After severe motivation, Paul and Graham redesigned the Machinimaid chassis to allow Kathleen to wear clothing other than the French Maid outfit. As it contained the sequential rocket launcher's armored cover, the outfit remained Kathleen's battle attire until she acquired the Katlien body from Korea.

Katlien Mk4

Unlike the Upgraded Furby or the Machinimaid, the Katlien body (Kathleen's third post-death body) was not armed or armored in any way and was designed to perfectly recreate her 2008 body's capabilities and functionality. Kathleen was happy to be as human as before her death (And effectively 4 years younger and timeless), though she lamented the loss of the Machinimaid's strength and "diplomatic" capabilities.

The Katlien Mk4 body is the only one made entirely without aid from the LRR crew. It was made in Korea to thank Kathleen for her work under their name during the Bear Wars. The only input was from Paul, who supplied the capabilities of Oracle.exe (Now effectively Kathleen's OS since the iKathleen form) to allow the development team to effectively work the design around its limitations.

Iterations of the Time Helmet design

In order to accomodate evolution and differences between the time travels utilising the Time Helmet, it has been theorised that the helmet has gone through several design changes (Evolved) throughout the Timeline. This was first considered during the discussion of A Little TOO Human which broke the previous notation that seeing oneself from different time periods would cause the earlier individuals head to explode (Effectively killing the elder version as well).

All Time Helmets following version 2.4 utilised a Phail reactor for their power supply, and versions 3.6 onwards are Linux-based.

One Minute Shorts

The Time Wii 4.8 prototype. Like the Time Helmet 4.8 this model doesn't malfunction in transit and contains anti-paradox technology. However, instead of traversing time directly in a solitary universe, it travels to that period in the next universe (If forward in time) or the previous universe (If backward in time) in the universal chain.

Jer stole the Time Wii prototype to trade places with his 2005 self and better aid the Human Federation against the Ursine Coalition, but finding himself in a different universe realised this would be ultimately futile, so travelled to 2009 and assassinated J Allard, thus preventing the Halo Wars from ever occuring.

Keytars

The original Time Helmet, has a high probability of malfunctioning, at one point even becoming lost during temporal transit. Graham created this version in 2007.

Also seen is Time Helmet 3.6, which no longer malfunctions. The previous 2.6 iterations were spent working that detail out, especially the "lost in transit" portion. Paul created this version in 2012, as well as most of the later iterations.

A Little TOO Human

Time Helmet 4.8, now features anti-paradox technology, allowing individuals from different time periods to meet without causing head explosions. This was created by Paul in the 19th century, and its development was what trapped the crew there for 12 years.

Paul travelled from the 19th century to 2016 to give one of his 4.8 versions to the crew of that period, allowing them to resurrect James & Gibb, restore the Moonbase, and effectively give the human race psychic abilities.

Progressions and Fates of Different Characters

The LRRverse features a plethora of characters, many of whom are thought to have noteworthy progressions in the history of the 'verse.

Action 9 News

All killed during the attack on Victoria in 2010. Jeremy Michaels died with them when the A9 News building collapsed.

Bill, Slayer of Ninjas

The Ninja Fighting Organisation caved in 2013 when ninjas and ninja-fighters alike began working for their own survival. Bill worked as one of the elites in the Human Federation, often alongside Jer.

Canadaman

Actually from an alternate timeline with it's own Time Wii, Canadaman travelled to our universe to relax, but found himself in a world soon to be garbled by either the Halo Wars and/or the Bear Wars. After spending his time as a public figurehead during the Bear Wars, he resolved to help the world more after being made President of the Dutch, and used the Time Helmet to rescue Matt & Morgan. Using the original Time Helmet and LRR Rocket #9, he travelled back to 2011 and rescued them, then moving further back to 2006 and began working as a true superhero.

Door-to-Door Satanists

Made peace with their Satan during the assault on Victoria.

Evil Inc.

Unable to find a working escape tunnel, Evil Inc. fell to the Ghost Bears when they assaulted St Joseph Island in 2010. Their base on St. Joseph Island (Later St. Alex Island after Alex Steacy for his work safeguarding Ontario) was used by the Ursine Coalition for most of the Bear Wars.

Gibb

Gibb worked with the Human Federation up until his death on the LRR-OUB in 2011. After his revival, he continued working with the Federation in a position as Yeti Ambassador, having finally re-established connections with his species, the Yetis.

Jer, Crouching Ninja

After his sifu master was killed by Ash when she joined the Ursine Coalition under Lord Bigfoot in 2013, Jer went on a tirade of vengeance for over a year before joining the Human Federation with many ninja allies. He was recognised by ninja kind as one of the greatest among them.

Kathleen

After being horribly mauled, Kathleen became a cybernetic lifeform thanks to Paul & Ned Bitterman's work on Oracle.exe. Over the years, she went through several new bodies before finally being given the Katlien Mk4 body, which continues to be her usual body. Her new "species" grants her effective immortality as well as a number of other benefits, such as an eidetic memory.

Kathleen maintained her relationship with Graham for decades until the difference in physical ability (His aging compared with her flawless physique) finally drew them apart and they divorced. They stayed close friends until he eventually passed away. Kathleen recited from memory (Without using her eidetic components) The Elements at his funeral.

After spending several years trying to get Paul to create a way to resurrect Graham in an immortal form, Kathleen finally moved on and is now an award winning actress, even winning an Oscar for her performance as herself in Bear Claws, a documentary of the Bear Wars (She has, as a result, reduced her breast size by one eighth of a percent).

Ned Bitterman

Worked alongside Paul in programming Oracle.exe. Eventually died of old age in Panama in 2068.

Officer Rodriguez & Detective Riley

Beat officer Rodriguez worked in training new recruits to the Human Federation's militias, eventually serving during the Battle of Alex Island and securing the beach landing. In an ironic twist, securing the beach landing earned Rodriguez several honours, promoting him to Brigadier General, making him Riley's superior.

Detective Riley served in the Human Federation as a Lt. Colonel in the militia, but usually functioned as an unorthodox tracker. His work lead Graham to the Bear Fortress in Victoria during his search for Kathleen's body.

Paul

As a member of the undead, Paul is effectively immortal. The exception to this rule is his sentience, which is maintained by his Phailinite Ring, and so degrades if he is separated from it for a significant period, depending on the level of phail radiation he has accrued at the time. Curiously, Paul continues to wear glasses post-zombification. This is because the Phailinite Ring is able to cure his eyesight, but using only the ambient Pp to do so detracts from his cognitive abilities. Paul therefore prefers to maintain his mind and suffer his sub-par eyesight, rather than the alternative.

Paul was the lead scientist for the Human Resistance, working in virtually all fields available, and worked heavily with Ned Bitterman. He was the lead developer for the Time Helmets and the Time Wii, Oracle.exe and most of Kathleen's later forms, and continued to develop new technologies after the Bear Wars, but returned to his profession as an independent web developer, citing the stress of his post eroding the joy of discovery he usually admired it for.

Some time in 2016, Paul's eyes developed a slight orange glow, believed to be caused by extreme prolonged exposure to Phailinite. By the end of the Bear Wars, Paul had been exposed to Phail for longer than any other individual in history.

Steve

Immortal, Steve lived in the sewers of Vancouver for years before being buried in a cave in when 4th Bagels entered circulation as ammunition.

Story Guy

When the governments destabilised under the Zombie Bear assaults, Story Guy was left out of a job, so began working as a mercenary, predominantly for the Human Federation. When Ash came to power in the Ursine Coalition, she employed Story Guy as her personal hitman, paying him in cheese sandwiches and bullion bear statuettes.

The Warriors of Darkness

Fought in Vancouver with the Human Federation, but found work under Ash more appropriate for their evil aspects in 2014. They eventually died fighting Story Guy when Ash was deposed and the Federation made him a better offer than "Nothing because I'm dead".

The Timeline

• 14
  • Drunken bear politicians hire Mark the freelance theologian to write the Book of S(a)tan to compete with Christianity and the Bible. However, as he is also drunk, it becomes a complete failure.
• 1812
  • The War of 1812. Matt, Morgan, Bill, and James all participate in the war using their latent psychic abilities to set fire to the Whitehouse.
• 1816
  • Kathleen & Graham are married when they are found to be living together by an Irish Catholic priest.
• 1981
  • January 18th, The Professor's Fun House begins on cable access television.
• 1982
  • The Professor's Fun House is picked up by CFUR Ch9.
• 1991
  • The Professor's Fun House is picked up ABC.
• 1994
  • Stanley the Koala is killed in a car accident on March 30th
• 1995
  • The Professor's Fun House conclusively ends.
• 1998
  • Abra-Cadabra, starring Ernest the Rabbit, is released.
• 2003
  • LoadingReadyRun is created.
  • Paul receives the Phailinite Ring from Graham as a preventative measure again Phail radiation.
• 2004
  • Graham becomes stuck in the Mirror Verse, but finds the experience comfortable until sex is brought up. The precise cause of this event is still unknown.
  • Paul is killed by Conor to get back at Graham. After his body is dumped at the Homo Mortuus Reserve, he revives as a zombie. Having been dead already, his sentience is retained, the Phailinite Ring helped as well.
  • Gibb joins the LoadingReadyRun crew. Unsure of his actual species, he fills out his application under "synthetic/unknown".
  • Paul accidentally orders a metric tonne of soiled panties online.
  • Kathleen has a brief fling with Graham's laptop.
• 2005
  • Paul fends off Sarcasmo the Mind Demon to prevent him from destroying the creative talent of LRR.
  • In an alternate reality, Jer replaces his alternate self. He later returns to the current reality a few weeks after having left.
  • Graham accidentally burns Phailgas in his oven and awakes the next day vocally out of sync. Paul cures him using the Phailinite Ring's emanations on a video remote.
  • Johnny Lunchbox interns at LRR.
• 2006
  • Morgan is abducted by thought police, he is unable to say the "C word" for several months.
  • Graham gives up his black box protocol.
  • Graham loses a bet to Morgan and then Paul, who had made a bet with Morgan he could get Graham to lose the bet.
  • Gibb learns that he is in fact a Yeti.
  • James becomes a Hampire after consuming tainted ham. Bill and Paul contract similar illnesses, but are cured using the Phailinite Ring and Dayquil. James refuses similar treatment on the grounds that he enjoys the world smelling of sausage.
  • Graham, Morgan, and Bill's kitchen becomes unclean to a Lovecraftian degree. Attempts at kidnapping someone to clean it fail. It is later cleansed by fire when James seeks vengeance on Billy the badger.
  • Paul acquires 3 PS3s. They are quickly stolen and dispersed throughout the province.
• 2007
  • After poor New Years behaviour, Morgan seeks medical attention to have two chainsaws removed from his anus.
  • LoadingReadyLabs creates a mind-switching device from a Dreamcast. After significant side-effects, it is shelved.
  • Paul, Morgan, Bill, and Graham suffer from Musical Flu.
  • Paul suffers Phail radiation, installing Linux on various household items, and Graham.
  • The sun experiences erratic luminosity, but returns to normal within a month.
  • Morgan contracts Shrieking Explosive Diarrhoea from his New Years chainsaw encounter.
  • Graham unsuccessfully attempts to explain "Who's on First?" to Paul.
  • Gibb becomes a Death Eater after meeting Lord Voldemort.
  • Paul is driven to the brink of sanity when Graham enlists Morgan in his vengeance for defeating his bet in 2006.
  • Graham creates the Time Helmet. Future Graham visits using Time Helmet 2.4 (Placing Matt in Ursine Stasis) to warn against destroying the keytar.
  • Paul attempts to build an underwater utopia, then a treetop utopia, finally settling on an underground bunker on the moon.
  • Jer's personality dissociates itself, he manages to rejoin his mentality after several weeks of being incomplete. In related events, Jer's Gullibility is arrested for armed robbery.
  • Graham divorces from Morgan and gains full custody of the Xbox 360.
  • Paul is burgled by a pair of incompetent burglars. They are held off by Jer's pet duck, who Paul was caring for at that point in time.
• 2008
  • Graham & Matt move in together after misreading eachother's roommate ads.
  • The Internet is connected at G&M's apartment, but stressed to extremes until it stolen from three different neighbours to cut the bandwidth usage.
  • Matt suffers night terrors following the fall of HD-DVD to Blu Ray.
  • Due to high accident reports, Bagels are outlawed in LRR facilities and operations.
  • The LRR Orbiting Underground Bunker is completed.
  • Graham suffers Phail radiation, but is cured by Paul using the Phailinite Ring.
  • Bill returns from an extended stint with the NFO.
  • The Pre-Emptive Too Human Review project is begun by Kathleen. Future Matt & Future Graham, with Kathleen in an iPhone, visit to alter history by discouraging tomato consumption.
  • Action9 news gets their newsfeed mixed up and converses with staff of the Large Hamster Collider, instead of the Large Hadron Collider. The producer is fired within the week.
  • Using the tabletop Spore kit, Matt mixes his genes with Jer's and creates Tim Sevenhuysen. Tim thereon inhabits the moonbase and films the crew behind the scenes to pay for his continued existence.
  • Ice Tray leaves 64K for a solo career, after a gameshow to decide, Killahbyte replaces him as Ice Tray.
  • War of Christmas is released in theatres in time for the holiday season. Rosco P. Jangles III dies during filming.
• 2009
  • The Shark Armada falls to the Ursine Coalition for Picnic baskets in the Massacre of Duck 359.
  • James Allard is assassinated with a hurled Wiimote.
• 2010
  • The Ursine Coalition attacks Kirkland and Victoria, beginning the Bear Wars. Uwe Boll is killed ten minutes in, Action 9 News & Jeremy Michaels die when the A9N building collapses.
  • Evil Inc. falls to the Coalition on St. Joseph Island and their base becomes the new primary base to the bear forces.
• 2011
  • The Orbiting Underground Moonbase is infiltrated by Ghost Bears. James dies activating the self-destruct by overloading the reactor whilst Gibb distracts the intruders.
  • Matt & Morgan are hurled into space by the explosion, but are rescued by Future Canadaman.
• 2012
  • Kathleen is horribly mauled, Paul creates a Linux app (Oracle.exe) to install her consciousness on an iPhone. Graham retrieves her corpse from the Bear Fortress and successfully does so.
  • The Time Helmet 3.6 is developed by Paul, despite Graham's pleadings that it is presently useless.
• 2013
  • Tomato is found to cause anti-psionic food poisoning. The tomato stock is given to several bear armies as a peace-offering, then exploded with remote plasma mines.
  • Kathleen is downloaded from the iPhone into an upgraded Furby.
  • Ash joins the Ursine Coalition after deserting the Human Federation.
  • The NFO collapses as ninjas and ninja-fighters alike fight for their own survival.
• 2014
  • Stale 4th Bagels enter circulation as hurled projectiles. Steve is buried in the sewers by a cave-in as a result. The forces of living bears suffer massive casualties before adapting with Donut Armor.
  • Ash becomes evil ruler of the Ursine Coalition after poisoning Lord Bigfoot. Story Guy becomes her personal hitman, the Warriors of Darkness also leave the Federation and join the Coalition.
  • Using Gibb's death as leverage (Portraying the Federation as murderers), the Coalition convinces the Yetis to join them.
• 2015
  • Pat & Geoff are captured by Zombie Bears. Pat's final words are "Watch it grow!" before filling his devourer with expanding plastique and detonating the Bear Fortress. Geoff survives by using his rocker face to scare the explosion into submission.
• 2016
  • The crew receive a Time Helmet 4.8 from Future Paul dressed in 19th century garb, complete with anti-paradox technology to prevent head explosions
• 2017
  • The Ghost Bears salvage and partially rebuild the Yamato, it is captured just prior to completion by the Human Federation of Western Canada, lead by Bill & Jer with 300 neutral ninja forces.
• 2018
  • The Bear Wars officially end with the Battle of St. Alex Island.
  • Ash is killed, Story Guy kills the Warriors of Darkness when contracted mid-battle by the Human Federation.
• 2019
  • Paul pinpoints two points in history that greatly affected the Bear War continuity. Matt & Graham correct these points to favour the human sides, resurrecting James & Gibb in the process and restoring the Moonbase.
• 2020
  • Jer steals the prototype Time Wii 4.8 to travel to 2005 and trade places with his 2005 self. The attempt fails however, as Paul had previously altered the Time Wii to function within the Infinite Universes theory. However, he does succeed in preventing the Halo Wars.
• 2024
  • Kathleen is uploaded onto the Internets, accidentally causing a brief bout of ZOMGies in the Victoria area before being downloaded into Paul's Machinimaid.
  • Kathleen befriends the Superintendent whilst online, he goes on to manage the LRR website with Paul.
• 2026
  • Canadaman is elected President of the United States…of the Dutch. He acquires the Time Helmet 3.6 and goes back to 2011, but does not return.
• 2029
  • Paul traps the crew in London 1808 while experimenting with the Time Helmet.
• 2031
  • After 12 years, the crew returns from 1820 to the present year.
  • Kathleen receives a more visibly human body from Korea, modelled after her 2008 self.
• 2032
  • Graham travels to 2007 using the Time Helmet 2.4 to save his favourite band, Sunshine.
• 2033
  • LRR Season 30 reunion
• 2068
  • Ned Bitterman dies of old age in Panama, aged 86.