The Panalysts Ep56 - The Dank Ages

From LoadingReadyWiki
Revision as of 09:35, 17 January 2020 by Rubik (talk | contribs) (→‎Synopsis: Added gallery of coat of arms')
Jump to navigationJump to search

Our Panalysts ponder a life of leisure, and whether you can jump a canal in a Toyota Camry.

Vital Statistics

The Panalysts Ep56 - The Dank Ages.jpg

Date: January 16, 2020

Category: The Panalysts

Host: Molly Lewis

Cohosts: Jacob Burgess, Adam Savidan, Cameron Lauder, Brendan "Beej" Dery

Edited by: Kathleen De Vere

Synopsis

  • You are a Florida Man. That's right, Andy Warhol once said that in the future everyone would be famous for 15 minutes. And now your time is upon you because your photo is about to go viral. What ripped-from-the-headlines Florida Man high-jinx do you get up to and how do you explain yourself to future employers and romantic partners? Are you: attempting to jump a canal in your Toyota Camry, belligerently eating pasta with your bare hands outside of an Olive Garden, or power-washing a roof dressed like Spiderman?
    • Jacob and Adam: Belligerently eating pasta with your bare hands.
    • Cam and Beej: Attempting to jump a canal in your Toyota Camry.
  • The archduke of Batista died in 2016. You are only learning this now because it took 3 years for a beleaguered Romanian lawyer to track down the dukes last living heir, which is you. You are now minor European royalty, a role that comes with perks like your very own bog, a castle in said bog, and hereditary man-servant named Dragomear. Speaking of Dragomear, he's dying to know what your coat of arms is, so that he may embroider it onto your robes. Your family does not have a coat of arms, but Dragomear has trained his whole life for this moment and his face beams up your lordship with anticipation. You don't want to insult Dragomear, and by association his ancestors, by dismissing this time-honored tradition; so you quickly invent a coat of arms and an underpinning lore. What noble-sounding bullshit flaps out of your gums to justify some badass embroidery on your royal swag?
    • Jacob and Adam: Adam's half: Goku's head, with a Mike Tyson and tear-drop tattoo. A joint in Goku's mouth and Members on Hulk Hogan's 1989 Survivor Series team in the spikes of Goku's hair. Jacob's half: a blue buckler shield with a small Piccalo face.
    • Cam and Beej: (Hatsune) Miku's rampant either side of a piece of toast half covered in blackberry jam on the diagonal.
I The Panalysts navbar.png I
◀ ●∙∙∙ The Panalysts Ep55 - The Crowded Meat Space       The Panalysts Ep57 - Dolly Hydra ∙∙∙● ▶

Watch The Panalysts Ep56 - The Dank Ages