Qwerpline Ep03 - Break the Banks

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The third episode of Qwerpline! Big news for nsburg this week! We've got news, arts, and traffic. Derek's checks out a new river, the Qwopter's grounded, and an inventor joins Graham and Alex in the studio..

Vital Statisics

Ep.03 Titlecard

Date: September 28, 2015

Category: Qwerpline

Appearing: Graham Stark, Alex Steacy, Kathleen De Vere, Brendan "Beej" Dery, Ian Horner

Edited by: Graham Stark

Graphics: Graham Stark

Illustrations: Featherweight

Description: Big news for nsburg this week! We've got news, arts, and traffic. Derek's checks out a new river, the Qwopter's grounded, and an inventor joins Graham and Alex in the studio.

Runtime: 13:48

Slogan: "The Jewel of Therpston County."

  • Not to be confused with the township of Jewelsburg, Therpston County.

Sponsor: Tom Mcgee's Chamonix Harmony Sing a bar for me


  • The Shaughnessy Highway has flooded and the new river has been named The Shaughnessy River II. It was named with a vote run by the The Nsburg Geological Society.
  • The Shaughnessy Highway was a major trucking route and with the flooding now gas and oil is being rationed by the Pass n Gas.


Edith's book hutch:

  • How Stella got Her Groove Back
  • Waiting to Exhale

Derek live on location

Derek reports that The Shaughnessy River II is pretty good but rather shallow as compared to the original. He's also looking forward to the third one... He attempted to interview one of the beavers who dammed up the The Shaughnessy River but get's no response. The Nsburg Geological Society is out playing in the water and Derek manages to talk to Ralph live on the air. The Pipesman of whom Ralph is also a member are also there. The "secret" Pipesman get loaded on weekends and take care of the local Highways. Ralph explains that the Nsburg Geological Society is a fraternal organization and that the Nsburg Geological Survey should have recommended against building the Highway in a flood plain. If you are interested in joining the "secret" Pipesman there are recruitment posters up in the Town Hall... both of them.


Richter Hammockslam is in the fan boat and having a blast on The Shaughnessy River II. He may have hit one of the people from the Nsburg Geological Society... He's been out there for days. He's the only mechanical thing on the river and says it's awesome.

Live in the Studio

Raphael Crinklestouf is a local inventor and advocate for alternative fuels. He has used fermentation of human and other waste products to run an engine. He get's 90 miles to the turd kettle. He's brought in his apparatus and samples... and opened them in the studio... The studio will now be sanitized by nsburg hazmat.

Coming Up

  • Derek will be on location for the annual pipesman time capsule opening
  • Nsburg Hazmat will demonstrate how to sanitize a broadcast studio (which was a coincidence, but now very urgent)


  • Tom Mcgee's Chamonix Harmony

"Tom Mcgee's Chamonix Harmony. Sing a bar for me" alternatively "...Fuel my car for me"

Tom Mcgee's Chamonix Harmony

  • Pass N Gas

"Pass N Gas. Try the coffee"

Pass N Gas

Dramatis Personae

  • Announcer - Beej
  • Big G-Money - Graham
  • A-Train - Alex
  • Edith Slump - Kathleen
  • Derek - Beej
  • Muriel, the Old Wife - Kathleen
  • Ralph - Ian
  • Richter Hammockslam - Ian
  • Raphael Crinklestouf - Beej


  • Tom Mcgee's Chamonix Harmony is performing at the Esplanade this weekend. And canceled due to the flood...
  • The Pass n Gas is a full service gas station if you ask.
  • The QWRP fan boat runs on biodiesel.
  • The pipesman have an annual timecapsule opening.
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