LoadingReadyRun Streams Quotes

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Graham & Paul Let's Play

Dark

• Graham: "I can tell you about Sanctuary. Dude, they have twins, *twins*, working there, though the DJ doesn't know what she's doing. She's a real bitch."

Dark

• Graham begins level in a dead-end alley, facing out

Graham: "Where did I come in from?"

Dark

• Paul (making fun of the takedown animation): "By the rules of this game I'm playing, I have to die now."

Dark

• Graham: "Okay men, we're going up against dangerous vampires that have killed dozens of people, but the budget's a bit tight, so only half of you get armour."

Dark

• Paul: "I don't see how that's a special power. It's just teleporting and punching a guy."

Dark

• Paul: "These guys need a radio. Seriously. This is not the sort of information you should be sending over email."

Paul (imitating soldier): "Hey, did you get that message about me advancing? GMail's been acting weird lately."

Dark

• Paul: "What was your plan?"

Graham: "I was going to punch him, but he wasn't close enough."

Dark

• Graham: "Oh, food! No, wait, he's got armour."

Dark

• Graham (after finishing 'Dark'): "You know what we could do for the next hour?"

Paul: "Cry bitterly?"

Dark

• Paul (after finishing Dark): "Dark can get fucked."

Dark

Beej's Backlog

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Beej: "Oh god, it begins."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Beej: "Oh, right. The nineties."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Opening cut-scene shows pirate ships

Beej: "So for those of you tuning in, we are playing Assassin's Creed: Black Flag. The reason it looks like garbage is because I'm playing it on your least favorite video game system - you can fill in THAT blank however you like."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Beej: "I'm totally getting this game-OH, JESUS!"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Beej: "Do I slide to the bottom, or do I just keep humping poles?"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Beej: "I stabbed between her legs, didn't I?"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

• Beej (after the camera clips through an enemy): "Hey, did you guys ever want to see the ass-end of an exploding dog?"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

IDDQDERP

Metro: Last Light

• Alex aiming a sniper rifle at a bad guy's head

Alex: "What do you think his hopes and dreams look like?"

Cam: "Let's have a look."

Boom, headshot.

Metro: Last Light

• Cam reading a sign written in Russian

Alex: "Wait, you can read Russian?"

Cam: "It's a lot like Greek."

Alex: "You can read Greek?!"

Metro: Last Light

Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Graham: "You got the Belt of Truth!"

Cam: "What about the socks of righteousness?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Graham: "So this really looks like Quake, right? But like BAD Quake?"

Alex: "This...this looks like Quake by way of Doom or Wolfenstein."

Cam: "Yeah, this looks like not Quake; like...Heretic?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Alex: "Are those blood drops on his pool cue!?"

Graham cracks up

Alex: "What are we even looking at?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Cam: "It's just as good as any game a heathen would play."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Alex: "This is like "The Room" of video games."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Graham: "Pick up the scroll; it'll explain everything."

Alex: "Will it? I suspect it will explain nothing."

Alex picks up the scroll

Alex *laughing*: "Who takes drugs out of a test tube?"

Cam: "Especially if they're carrying a MAC10?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Cam: "This is like the game Insane Clown Posse would make."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Alex repeats the start of the game for the third time

Alex: "I am OFFENDED that I'm getting better at this game."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Graham: "Wh... Why is there a sub-ocean?!"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Alex: "I just do not know whether to shit or go blind."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Graham: "Can you get the door?"

Alex: "Is that a door? Is anything real? Am I real?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Alex: "OK, let's try and break the brown cube that materialized over the lava gate."

Graham: "You say that like it's going to be so hard."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• STAND AGAINST THE DEVIL! (stage music)

Alex: WE TRIED STANDING AGAINST THE DEVIL, IT DIDN'T WORK!

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

• Cam: "The only thing I can take away from this game is that there is no God"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Killing Floor

• Alex: "You can't just scream like that for no reason!"

Killing Floor

• Alex: "Really? KFC chips are salty? In other news, the sky is blue."

Killing Floor

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "♫Ride into the YOLO Zone.♫" (to the tune of "Danger Zone")

Cam: "I hate you so much."

Alex: "I'm sorry."

Cam: "I don't think that's true."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Cam: "What was on the other side of that door?"

Alex: "What do you mean 'was'?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex looting a bad guy after taking him down with a lot of ammo used

Alex: "This guy does not have the bullets I need."

Cam: "Well, he has one of them, at least."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex finishes clearing out a bandit encampment

Cam: "How many Russians have you murdered today?"

Alex: "None! They're all Ukrainian."

Cam: Oh. Well, that's all right then."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Graham (off-camera): "Can you be straight murdered a little more quietly?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex just straight up drinks two CASES of vodka. POV goes full QWOP

Alex: "Boy, are we ever drunk."

Cam: "It's like I'm at PAX again."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex respawns for around the fifth time in the same section

Alex: "Get fucked!"

Alex tosses a grenade into the next room

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: *deadpan* "Screw you, rebar."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Sidorovich (NPC): "You got the loot?"

Alex: "Is.. is.. is that a... that a sex thing?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "HO! They are really rushin'. RushING. They're not Rus... Well, they probably actually are Russian."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Speaker: shouting an automated message in Russian

Alex: "Did he say he wanted a pizza?"

Speaker: (later) shouting same message

Alex: "He does want a pizza!"

Speaker: (later) shouting same message

Alex: *annoyed* "You can't have a pizza."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex dies for around the sixth time in the same section

Alex: "That was the game's way of punishing us for abandoning 'stoppin' powah'"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Beej: "Chat's giving you shit for passing the P90."

Alex: "Shut up. You're not better than me."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "Was that a Beyond Thunderdome reference?!"

Beej: "Yep."

Alex: "I don't know if I'm more offended that you made that reference or that I got it."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Beej: "You know what a catheter is?"

Alex: "Beej, this is my stream. I don't want to hear about your stream."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Beej: "You have no idea how happy you can be to be able to pee again."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "Why is there just a pelvis? ... Like, did that guy just poop his pelvis out? That's pretty upsetting."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "That uh, for those of you who've never seen one before, is a *zombie appears* nneeenurk burnurfnurgle"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "Serge, your plan isn't working. Serge! Your plan is completely murdering me!"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Serge: "What? You're covered in cat too? What is wrong with you people?"

Graham (off-camera): "Have you seen my cat? That's why I'm covered in fur."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Serge: "Why are there tentacles in our chest?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "Apparently, our blind spot is directly in front of us. That's not good."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Serge: "Grenades solve everything."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "Welcome to S.T.A.L.K.E.R.! Is that a rock?!"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: "It's some sort of weird mystery gun."

Serge: "Does it take bullets?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

• Alex: *scared by monster* "Hold me, Serge."

Serge: "You're covered in cat, or else I would."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Payday 2: The Heist

• Alex: "Apparently, I loaded my gun with chewing gum this morning."

Payday 2: The Heist

• AeroCmdr: "I'm throwing a grenade."

Alex: "Where, where are you throwing a grenade? That's relevant information."

Payday 2: The Heist

• Shielded police appears from around the corner

Alex: "Oh no! What a bad time to have a" *gets shot down* "erburgermorglefurdle..."

Payday 2: The Heist

• Alex: "Oh, shit a dick nose!"

AeroCmdr: "Shit a dick nose?"

Alex: "Yes. Did I stutter or something?"

Payday 2: The Heist

Half Life 2: SMOD

• Alex: "You can't eat pelvises in this mod? Immersion ruined!"

Half Life 2: SMOD

• Alex: "Did that helicopter just throw bones at us?"

Half Life 2: SMOD

The Book of Passwords

Metal Gear 2

• Graham: "Capture card? Capture card!"

Metal Gear 2

• Jer: "The cheetah has lost to a snake?"

Graham: "Well, if the cheetah runs into a mine..."

Metal Gear 2

• Graham: "When you get to Big Boss, can you ask him why he has random children just littering his facility?"

Jer: "There was talk of war orphans at some point..."

Graham: "It's pronounced 'Warphans'."

Metal Gear 2

Kathleen Saves the World

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

• Kathleen: "EFF! EFF! EFF!"

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

• Kathleen: "Get fucked Dante! [...] What a shitbag."

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

• Kathleen: "Thanks for destroying the world, ass-hat!"

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

• Kathleen: *sweetly* "Awwww... Thank you... Go fuck yourself."

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

A Swiftly Tilting Cameron

Main Article: A Swiftly Tilting Cameron

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Would you look at that mustache? That must be the most handsome man in XCOM."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Who wants to buy a bullet-ridden corpse? Come on - we took out the important bits and replaced them with holes!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Pardonfuck?"

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Here, I've got something I need you to hold for me; it's called 'lots of bullets'."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "♫Napalm sticks to little children; all the children of the world♫"

(to the tune of "Jesus Loves the Little Children")

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I'm sure the inquiry will say he was killed by Martians."

After accidentally killing a civilian

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "That was a reasonably good turn." *takes a drink of his beverage*

As he's saying this, a Chrysalid he thought was dead bursts through the door

Cam: *nearly chokes on drink* "Hi!"

Chrysalid chows down on Bill DaCat

Cam: "Awww... You were important."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "We died as we lived; making the wrong choice."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Put on your damn helmet, rookie!"

XCOM: Enemy Within (repeatedly)

• Cam: "Even though it's in Edmonton"

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "♫I don't want to set your van on fire... I just want start a flame in your *PSHEW!*♫"

(to the tune of "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire")

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "You: Please replace that man's internal organs with holes." *fires* "Thank you."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "The Moonbase is mine now."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I hate you all and wish you were dead. Luckily, I'll get my wish."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I found a pie in the fridge, and I'm gonna eat it, and deal with the consequences. But, I need pie right now."

After stealing pie from the Moonbase fridge during a particularly bad stream of XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I have seriously chewed through every woman who watches this show."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Please report to Doctor Vahlen to have your legs amputated."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Alex: "What's that green thing? Is that a man?"

Cam: "Um..."

Alex: "Was it a man?"

Cam: "Don't worry about it."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "We're almost definitely going to be tripping a group up here soon."

Alex: "Wait? The pigeons?"

Cam: "No, the pigeons are just hanging out."

Alex: "I bet they're aliens."

Cam: "Don't you hate on pigeons! You son of a bitch!"

Alex: "I hate on alien pigeons."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Squaddie Devin Kerr: "Enemy spotted!"

Alex and Cam: "D'oh!"

Alex: "That's a lot of... man-zorrs..."

Cam: "Eh... They'll be fine."

Alex: "... running like purple monkeys inside."

Cam: "..." *smiles* Odd... OK..."

Alex: "Well..."

Cam: "Um..."

Alex: "They look like purple monkeys."

Cam: *mock offended* "Racist!"

Alex: "That's...!" *throws hands in air* "Sure!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Alex: "I assume you only have one rocket per round. Right?"

Cam: "Yeah."

Alex: "That sucks, but it's reasonable, 'cause rockets don't grow on trees."

Cam: "They definitely do not."

Alex: "I don't think I wanna visit that tree, if there was..."

Cam: "Yeah, no. The Rocket Tree?"

Alex: *laughs*

Cam: "The Rocket Tree is..."

Alex: "Rocketry. Amateur Rocketry. It's like, we're going to pick some today, and you're going to be REEEEEEALLY careful."

Cam: "Agreed."

Alex: "Turns out turn-over in this job is very high... Just like the bloody chunks."

Cam: "Welcome to the Rocketry Orchard!"

(...)

Cam: "The Rocket Tree, with the Farmer Von Braun."

Alex: *laughs*

Cam: "Watch out for Old Man Von Braun."

Alex: *bad German accent* "'Vonce the rockets are up, who cares vhere they come down? That's not my department,' says Wernher Von Braun."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Aww, Dr. Vahlen, did someone take away one of your toys? File a complaint with HR."

After destroying a Meld canister

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Alex: "What's that vortex?"

Cam: "That's where Mexico used to be."

Alex: "*Used* to be?"

Cam: "Don't worry about it."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I pretend that every paved save is an alternate timeline and that version of humanity is doomed, but they deserved it. I could sit here and pave saves all day. (counting) Seven billion, fourteen billion, twenty-one billion..."

Alex edges away from Cam.

• Cam: "How is everyone this week? Doing well? Alright. Let's get y'all shot."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Six turns? If there's anything left moving on this map in six turns, I'm going to be disappointed."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "That's the third time today she's been strangled. She's basically Cheryl from Archer."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Our only other option is... well. Hm. That was our good option."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I never thought I'd be able to kill this many people in my life. Thank you, everyone."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "You. Rectify your earlier mistake."

Soldier blows sectoid away

Cam: "Adequate."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I want to missile you so hard."

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "Oh yeah, who's getting real food when we get back to base? (Asterisk.)"

XCOM: Enemy Within

• Cam: "I'd like to think my office would have bookshelves. Pillows. A eunuch with a palm frond. You know, the essentials."

XCOM: Enemy Within

House of Stark

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "You just straight up killed the president, you DINK!"

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "Friend balloon! Nooo!"

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "Because God forbid I move A CHAIR."

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "Who keeps giving you a shotgun?"

Resident Evil 6

• Graham shooting Rasklapanjes in a toilet

Graham: "Alright, I am never going to the toilet in China, ever again."

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "If a person gets hit by a bus, the bus is winning."

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "It's a good thing we're on the express; you don't find this much ammo on the local."

Resident Evil 6

• Graham facepalms

Graham: "When did this become a Rom-Com?"

Resident Evil 6

• Maya: "He's eating them and making himself stronger! Because zombies are additive!"

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "That's what you're going to say, 'He just doesn't quit', as opposed to 'WHAT THE MOTHERING SHIT WAS THAT?!'"

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "Ha! Screw your bonsai tree!"

Maya: "I spent so many years growing that tree!"

Graham:" Yeah? Well, now an American is here to save from it."

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "That is no longer Marco, that is a swarm of- what in the hell?"

Resident Evil 6

• Graham: "Only the finest Dim-Sum restraints serve grenade launcher ammo with the meal."

Resident Evil 6