Revision as of 03:10, 3 July 2016


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CheckPointPlus

Kathleen: "I can't control what comes out of my mouth. There's no brain thing there. The tongue is engaging separately. It's pure reptile instinct."

CP+ After-Show

Kathleen: "Come down to GSC Europe map warehouse where GSC stands for Geograpically Somewhat Correct. Our maps are mostly European but have great new countries, like Snorsh."

CP+ After-Show subscriber commercial

Graham: "I haven't even been to Blight Town yet."

Kathleen: "I don't know what that means."

Graham: "You'll be able to infer it when I start screaming from the other room."

CheckPointPlus

Graham: *after getting the NAACP confused with the AARP* "We are from a different country. We don't know your things."

CheckPointPlus

Graham & Paul Let's Play

Dark

Graham: "I can tell you about Sanctuary. Dude, they have twins, *twins*, working there, though the DJ doesn't know what she's doing. She's a real bitch."

Dark

Graham begins level in a dead-end alley, facing out

Graham: "Where did I come in from?"

Dark

Paul: *making fun of the take-down animation* "By the rules of this game I'm playing, I have to die now."

Dark

Graham: "Okay men, we're going up against dangerous vampires that have killed dozens of people, but the budget's a bit tight, so only half of you get armour."

Dark

Paul: "I don't see how that's a special power. It's just teleporting and punching a guy."

Dark

Paul: "These guys need a radio. Seriously. This is not the sort of information you should be sending over email."

Paul: *imitating soldier* "Hey, did you get that message about me advancing? GMail's been acting weird lately."

Dark

Paul: "What was your plan?"

Graham: "I was going to punch him, but he wasn't close enough."

Dark

Graham: "Oh, food! No, wait, he's got armor."

Dark

Graham: *after finishing 'Dark'* "You know what we could do for the next hour?"

Paul: "Cry bitterly?"

Dark

Paul: *after finishing Dark* "We are no longer playing Dark." [pause] "Dark can Get. Fucked."

Dark -- YouTube (8:25)

Beyond: Two Souls

Paul: *looking at a cake, playing as Aiden* "I threw it on the ground!" *cake explodes*

Beyond: Two Souls

Paul: "No burning?"

Graham: "Eh, I don't think we have to kill them all."

Beyond: Two Souls

Paul: "So, you wanna sleep with the guy later?"

Graham: "Yeah, sure."

Beyond: Two Souls

Paul: "My apologies to the people upset that we missed a thing, but I really don't care."

Beyond: Two Souls

*Jodie is expected to deliver a baby*

Graham: I don't... I... Key..."

Paul: "The CIA did not train me for this."

Beyond: Two Souls

Graham: "X to comfort!"

Paul: "You have failed the comforting mini-game. She is not comforted at all."

Beyond: Two Souls

*A QTE appears for Jodie to cut the umbilical cord*

Graham: "Oh God, don't fuck this up."

Paul: "Why is cutting the cord like a God of War sequence?"

Beyond: Two Souls

Paul: "It's like 'Think, Jodie, think... I know, the ghost thing that's the point of this game! I'll use that!'"

Graham: "'I'm a genius!'"

Paul: "'...The thing that I use to solve every single problem!'"

Graham: "'It's brilliant!'"

Beyond: Two Souls

*Jodie knocks on the door and a very handsome Native American answers it*

Jodie: "I'm so sorry to disturb you"

Graham: "...you massive hunk of man."

Beyond: Two Souls

*A guard turns Jodie away from the Supermarket*

Graham: "What, you just know she's homeless, and you're all like: 'Ah-ah-ah!'"

Paul: "Well she is all roughed up..."

Graham: "It could be Exam Period!"

Beyond: Two Souls

*Paul notices that Aiden is no longer tied to Jodie*

Paul: "I'm freeeeeee!"

*gets blocked by wall*

Paul: "Aww."

Beyond: Two Souls

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Paul: "You have lost your RPG privileges young man."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Paul: *reading chat* "'Did you just fight a helicopter with a sword?' Yes. If you have a problem with this, get out."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Graham: "I may have accidentally destroyed that train car."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Paul: "This bad guy comes pre-sliced."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Graham: "I forgot I had the thing made of arms."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Graham: *after having a game mechanic explained in a near-end final boss fight* "OH! That explains EVERY QUESTION I HAD WITH THIS COMBAT SYSTEM."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Graham: "His sword legitimately has Twitter."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

Paul: "My platform: Enormous spider robots for everyone! A spider robot in every garage! Also, larger garages."

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

The Witcher 2

Graham: "Racial Profiling: It's not always wrong!"

The Witcher 2

Ryse: Son of Rome

Graham: "Search the swamp for enemies and/or Yoda!"

Ryse: Son of Rome

Killzone: Shadowfall

In-game voice: "You've lost sight of what matters!"

Paul: "Hey, I am all about what matters! Poontang."

Killzone: Shadowfall

Psychonauts

Paul: "I lit myself on fire, but on the plus side, I lit the rest of them on fire."

Psychonauts

Things on My Stream

Oni

Paul: "The problem is real buildings are boring."

Oni

Paul: "Don't make me put my face in front of your fists. Because I wouldn't like to do that."

Oni

Paul: "How do you like them apples? I bet you don't like them at all. I bet you don't like apples in that way."

Oni

Enemy: "You're weak!"

Paul: "Well, you're flipped, so what are you gonna do about it?"

Oni

Paul: "Oh no! He got palette-swapped! The worst!"

Oni

Paul: "*excitedly* This actually brings us to another... *goes disappointed* flaw with this game."

Oni

Paul: "I got hit by all of the missiles. Look at the difference in my life."

Oni

Paul: "It's in good hands, but I don't know whose hands those are."

Oni

Paul: "This is the Saga of Baggage Handler Man!"

Oni

Out of This World

Paul: *desk explodes* "That was a large part of my desk that I needed. Also, me."

Out of This World

Paul: *after about 30-odd deaths on one part* "What the hell?! I did all that and it's a dead end?"

Out of This World

Psychonauts

Paul: "You are right. The reason Graham isn't here, is that he hates you."

Psychonauts

Loom

Voiceover: "Please select your skill level."

Paul: *selects expert* "We're not scrubs here."

Loom

Beej's Backlog

Main Article: Beej's Backlog

Endless Ocean

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "Oh god, it begins."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "Oh, right. The nineties."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Opening cut-scene shows pirate ships

Beej: "So for those of you tuning in, we are playing Assassin's Creed: Black Flag. The reason it looks like garbage is because I'm playing it on your least favorite video game system - you can fill in THAT blank however you like."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "I'm totally getting this game-OH, JESUS!"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "Do I slide to the bottom, or do I just keep humping poles?"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "I stabbed between her legs, didn't I?"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej (after the camera clips through an enemy): "Hey, did you guys ever want to see the ass-end of an exploding dog?"

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "You take forever to get up you dumb dick."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej: "She's naked. She's not invincible."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Beej (on failing to be able to complete the game due to a game-breaking portal glitch right before the last boss battle) : "Get bent, Ubisoft."

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Odama

Just about everyone at some point: "Thanks, Odama!"

Odama

Beej: "How do I launch rice balls?"

Odama

Beej: "Does he have giant hands? Why is there...? What the hell is that thing?"

Odama

Beej: "Nooo! Give me my Odama back!"

Odama

Beej: "Stop fucking talking so I can see the ball!"

Odama

Beej: "Shitty McFucks! My guys can't do dick all!"

Odama

Beej: "Don't press the X button while you're having a rant, because these guys don't understand English!"

Odama

Beej: "Here! Have a morale bong!"

Odama

Beej: *in happy voice* "Oh really?! Oh wow! That sucks! FUCK YOU!"

Odama

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I bet ya I need more of that weed."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I thought this would be actual food."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "We're going to play until I can grow something successful, get another animal, and either make friends with the old lady, or marry a cat."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: *regarding sketchy guy* "OK, just walk around my farm. I don't mind. Please don't murder me."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "It's sunset and I'm missing it because I'm watering my fucking plants."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "It's 3 AM. What the fuck am I doing up?"

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "Look! A tomato I grew! Wanna get married?"

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I thought you were a girl, too. Are you picking me up? I've got some news for ya, kid."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "Did I milk the wrong half of the cow?"

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I'm probably going to drink one of the milks, and then probably the second one."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Alex: "You're just slamming unpasteurized milk? That's H-core!"

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "That's the thing about Dixbutt. If Dixbutt is happy, you get better cows."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: *picks up unknown object off the ground and eats it* "Mmmm... Fresh... thing..."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Alex: "Twitter and Tumblr are really a getting senpai to notice you simulator."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: *to Nami, who won't take the milk he's offering her* "You drink my fucking milk!"

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I wouldn't put a human body in the compost heap. That'd be terrible for the compost."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I have a dog and I don't know..."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "OK, I walk into her butt..."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "He has been underground so long, he has phosphorescent urine."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Alex: "I can't normal people."

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Beej: "I got all dressed up for nothing!"

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life, when the wedding was basically just a cut to black.

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

*getting handle on controls in a speeder, bumping into everything'*

Beej: "Oh man, you cannot destroy this thing."

*vehicle crashes into a wall and explodes*

Beej: "You can destroy this thing!"

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

Beej: "Something big and purple shows up on my screen and I just want to shoot lasers into it."

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

Beej: "I can't pick up their weapons. I guess they're part of their hands."

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

Beej: "This is not run-and-gun so much as it is herp-and-derp."

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

Beej: "I'm in some kind of... shiny gold Hell..."

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

*boosts straight into the shield gate*

Beej: "I hit the wrong button..."

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

Yoot Tower

Graham: "How high can you build this thing? Have you touched the face of God?"

Heather: "We saw Santa!"

Graham: "That's almost the same thing."

Yoot Tower

Beej: "You have an entire floor for peeing!"

Yoot Tower

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "If you come to LRRCon and I find out you've been calling me a scrub, I'm gonna punch you in the face. I guess my wife will be first when I get home."

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "They're my subjects, I can do what I will with them."

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "OH YEAH! Fecal transplants are AWESOME!"

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "There's, like, a pound of dicks I need you to eat."

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "I was a pretty big deal in the Sailor Moon community."

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "I've had a buttload of sex."

Super Princess Peach

Beej: "Don't make 'straight penised' a thing."

Super Princess Peach

Alex: "Next time you're in Seattle we're going to have to fill you with Dick's."

Super Princess Peach

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Beej (after dying in Bowser's platforming section): "He has shit physics!"

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Heather: *notices scrub counter in chat* The scrub count is much higher than that."

Beej: "I think it's per stream."

Heather: "No, even for this stream it's higher than that."

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Beej: *attempting to fly from platform to platform*

Heather: "You'll get there. I believe in you"

Beej: "Thank you."

Beej: *dives off the platform again*

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

Beej: "You're not buffering, you're just watching the same thing over and over again."

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

IDDQDerp

Main Article: IDDQDerp

Metro: Last Light

Alex aiming a sniper rifle at a bad guy's head

Alex: "What do you think his hopes and dreams look like?"

Cam: "Let's look."

Boom, headshot.[1]

Metro: Last Light

Cam sounding out a sign written in Russian

Alex: "Wait, you can read that!?"

Cam: "Well, Cyrillic is heavily based in Greek, right?"

Alex: "...You can read Greek?"

Metro: Last Light

Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Graham: "You got the Belt of Truth!"

Cam: "What about the socks of righteousness?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Graham: "So this really looks like Quake, right? But like BAD Quake?"

Alex: "This...this looks like Quake by way of Doom or Wolfenstein."

Cam: "Yeah, this looks like not Quake; like...Heretic?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex: "Are those blood drops on his pool cue!?"

Graham cracks up

Alex: "What are we even looking at?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Cam: "It's just as good as any game a heathen would play."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex: "This is like "The Room" of video games."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Graham: "Pick up the scroll; it'll explain everything."

Alex: "Will it? I suspect it will explain nothing."

Alex picks up the scroll and reads it

Alex *laughing*: "Who takes drugs out of a test tube?"

Cam: "Especially if they're carrying a MAC10?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Cam: "This is like the game Insane Clown Posse would make."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex repeats the start of the game for the third time

Alex: "I am OFFENDED that I'm getting better at this game."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Graham: "Wh... Why is there a sub-ocean?!"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex: "I just do not know whether to shit or go blind."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex: *picks up scripture* "Neat. I've got Corinthians apparently. Is Corinthians good?"

Graham: "I think you should look at getting them removed. I think Maya had Corinthians once."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Graham: "Can you get the door?"

Alex: "Is that a door? Is anything real? Am I real?"

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex: "OK, let's try and break the brown cube that materialized over the lava gate."

Graham: "You say that like it's going to be so hard."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

"STAND AGAINST THE DEVIL!" (stage music)

Alex: WE TRIED STANDING AGAINST THE DEVIL, IT DIDN'T WORK!

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Cam: "The only thing I can take away from this game is that there is no God."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Alex: "Hey! We've got a compass!"

Cam: "That goes from zero to North..."

Inflict a Game on Alex - Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Killing Floor

Alex: "You can't just scream like that for no reason!"

Killing Floor

Alex: "Really? KFC chips are salty? In other news, the sky is blue."

Killing Floor

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "♫Ride into the YOLO Zone.♫" (to the tune of "Danger Zone")

Cam: "I hate you so much."

Alex: "I'm sorry."

Cam: "I don't think that's true."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Cam: "What was on the other side of that door?"

Alex: "What do you mean 'was'?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex looting a bad guy after taking him down with a lot of ammo used

Alex: "This guy does not have the bullets I need."

Cam: "Well, he has one of them, at least."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex finishes clearing out a bandit encampment

Cam: "How many Russians have you murdered today?"

Alex: "None! They're all Ukrainian."

Cam: Oh. Well, that's all right then."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Graham (off-camera): "Can you be straight murdered a little more quietly?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex just straight up drinks two CASES of vodka. POV goes full QWOP

Alex: "Boy, are we ever drunk."

Cam: "It's like I'm at PAX again."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex respawns for around the fifth time in the same section

Alex: "Get fucked!"

Alex tosses a grenade into the next room

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: *deadpan* "Screw you, rebar."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Sidorovich (NPC): "You got the loot?"

Alex: "Is.. is.. is that a... that a sex thing?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "HO! They are really rushin'. RushING. They're not Rus... Well, they probably actually are Russian."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Speaker: shouting an automated message in Russian

Alex: "Did he say he wanted a pizza?"

Speaker: (later) shouting same message

Alex: "He does want a pizza!"

Speaker: (later) shouting same message

Alex: *annoyed* "You can't have a pizza."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex dies for around the sixth time in the same section

Alex: "That was the game's way of punishing us for abandoning 'stoppin' powah'"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Beej: "Chat's giving you shit for passing the P90."

Alex: "Shut up. You're not better than me."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "Was that a Beyond Thunderdome reference?!"

Beej: "Yep."

Alex: "I don't know if I'm more offended that you made that reference or that I got it."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Beej: "You know what a catheter is?"

Alex: "Beej, this is my stream. I don't want to hear about your stream."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Beej: "You have no idea how happy you can be to be able to pee again."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "Why is there just a pelvis? ... Like, did that guy just poop his pelvis out? That's pretty upsetting."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "That uh, for those of you who've never seen one before, is a *zombie appears* nneeenurk burnurfnurgle"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "Serge, your plan isn't working. Serge! Your plan is completely murdering me!"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Serge: "What? You're covered in cat too? What is wrong with you people?"

Graham (off-camera): "Have you seen my cat? That's why I'm covered in fur."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Serge: "Why are there tentacles in our chest?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "Apparently, our blind spot is directly in front of us. That's not good."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Serge: "Grenades solve everything."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "Welcome to S.T.A.L.K.E.R.! Is that a rock?!"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: "It's some sort of weird mystery gun."

Serge: "Does it take bullets?"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Alex: *scared by monster* "Hold me, Serge."

Serge: "You're covered in cat, or else I would."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Payday 2: The Heist

Alex: "Apparently, I loaded my gun with chewing gum this morning."

Payday 2: The Heist

AeroCmdr: "I'm throwing a grenade."

Alex: "Where, where are you throwing a grenade? That's relevant information."

Payday 2: The Heist

Shielded police appears from around the corner

Alex: "Oh no! What a bad time to have a" *gets shot down* "erburgermorglefurdle..."

Payday 2: The Heist

Alex: "Oh, shit a dick nose!"

AeroCmdr: "Shit a dick nose?"

Alex: "Yes. Did I stutter or something?"

Payday 2: The Heist

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex: "You can't eat pelvises in this mod? Immersion ruined!"

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex: "Did that helicopter just throw bones at us?"

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex: "At the risk of crashing the game..."

Activates bullet time

Game crashes

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex: "I think there's another sniper...♫"

Dies

Alex: ಠ_ಠ

Half Life 2: SMOD

Tosses Antlion Guard up on to platform, where it mauls a Combine soldier

Alex: DEAL WITH IT!

Half Life 2: SMOD

Charges weapon

Alex: "KA-ME-HA-MEopps"

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex: "I'll eat your invisible meat!"

Half Life 2: SMOD

Shoots a chair at an enemy

Alex: "We've decided to appoint you the chair."/"Have a seat."

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex: "No, no, we'll do this properly."

Pulls out shovel and destroys everything in sight

Half Life 2: SMOD

Alex turns a corner and a fast zombie charges at him

Alex: "Fuck yo' couch!"

Launches couch at zombie

Half Life 2: SMOD

Rebel: "We're looking to join you Dr. Freeman."

Alex: throws exploding banana at her

Half Life 2: SMOD

Destroys wardrobe with shovel

Alex: "Take this, Aslan!"

Half Life 2: SMOD

Dishonored

Emily goes to play Hide and Seek

Alex jumps off the bridge

Alex: "Haha! Broke my legs! I'm good at this game."

Dishonored

Alex: *after singing a silly song and not coming up with lyrics to end it* "I don't really have an exit strategy for this song."

Dishonored

*after twice shooting a guard with a tranquilizer dart only to find him in a pool of blood*

Alex: "Did he fall on his sword? Or is this guy just a hemophiliac?!"

Dishonored

Alex: "If Deadpool was committed to not killing people, that's Good Guy Corvo."

Dishonored

Piero: "Can I be of service to you?"

Alex: "Yes. You could be less creepy."

Dishonored

*finds grapes in sewer water*

Alex: "Sweet! Free grapes!"

*gags as he eats them*

Alex: "Oh those taste real good."

Dishonored

Alex: "Good Guy Corvo apologizes."

Dishonored

Alex: "What the shit?! Why did he explode?!"

Dishonored

Dementium 2: HD

*after failing to get the controls in the game to work, Alex can't get the game to quit either*

Alex: "Today on IDDQDerp: Alex doesn't play a game."

Dementium 2: HD

Alex: "I'm being attacked by the cover of a metal album!"

Dementium 2: HD

*after not knowing what he was doing, the boss monster died*

Alex: "I won... apparently..."

Dementium 2: HD

Alex: "How am I supposed to attack a cloud of flies with a sledgehammer?"

Dementium 2: HD

Alex: *referring to bad ghosts* "You guys are putting me to sleep! I find scarier things in the toilet in the morning."

Dementium 2: HD

Graham: "The chairs have clipping. The tables do not."

Dementium 2: HD

*after entering a cave that has buildings in it*

Alex: "Where the shit are we now? Are we in crap-tier NORAD?"

Dementium 2: HD

*after yet another Chestmaw rises out of floor to try and bar his progress, Alex raises a sledgehammer*

Alex: "Whatever, I'm gonna smash your no-shadow-casting ass."

Dementium 2: HD

Alex: "Are you kidding me? I lost my super-weapon because I threw it through a door."

Dementium 2: HD

Graham: *describing an enemy's sound* "It sounds like someone's gargling, then getting hit in the balls."

Dementium 2: HD

Thief (2014)

Alex: "What the fuck is a gabble-wing?"

Thief (2014)

Alex: "Right. Now where was I, before I was so rudely interrupted by people doing their fucking job?"

Thief (2014)

Alex: "Is that a jar of raven?"

Thief (2014)

Alex: "Is this seriously a brothel? It's got a bat dispenser."

Thief (2014)

*NPCs arguing with each other while the rug is burning*

Alex: "Shit's on fire, yo!"

Thief (2014)

Teslagrad

Alex: "♫ Just gonna fist all of the pillbugs. ♫"

Teslagrad

Alex: "♫ Don't take that out of context. ♫"

Teslagrad

Bulletstorm

Alex: "I don't know what this is, but I'm going to blow it up! It looks important!"

Bulletstorm

Alex: "Try my bullet sauce!"

Bulletstorm

Alex: "I think I got killed by a punk band."

Bulletstorm

Alex: *enemy explodes a guy using a laser whip* "Cool! I want it!"

Bulletstorm

Alex: *zaps dying teammate with laser whip* "LIVE!"

Bulletstorm

Alex: "Come here! I want to tell you story about bullet! Here is sequel! It's about more bullet! Did you like it?"

Bulletstorm

Alex: *sliding down a water-slide* "We're having a good time! No, we're drowning..."

Bulletstorm

Alex: "Gonna shoot you in the dick! That was not your dick; it was your thigh. That was your leg."

Bulletstorm

Alex: "Just stop having momentum..."

Bulletstorm

Alex: "Why are you made out of Cheetos?"

Bulletstorm

Alex: "I am Morgan Freeman and I am going up your ass."

Bulletstorm

Alex: "Elysium? Where's Matt Damon? I want him to explain this shit."

Bulletstorm

Alex: "I look at this game and think SMOD and Quake had a love child, and then it had an abusive foster parent."

Bulletstorm

Alex: "They were robots! I saw them! They were full of mayonnaise!"

Bulletstorm

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Alex: *unloading an entire clip into an enemy* "I'm so sorry!"

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Alex: *unloading an entire clip into an enemy* "Sorry! You looked like a Nazi!"

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Alex: *enters new airship* "This one's full of nuclear-tomics."

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Alex: *mind-controls the Nazi-esque penguin* "Guten Tag!" *shoots the other enemies*

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Alex: "Try my air juggle!"

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Remember Me

Alex: "I am just a photon torpedo."

Remember Me

Alex: "♫ I'm gonna take... a thousand years... to walk down this hallway... to piss you all off! ♫"

Remember Me

Alex: "Whoa! There's another cyber-groin-lady-ninja!"

Remember Me

Alex: "I can't hear you over this John Williams!"

Remember Me

Alex: *reading graffiti* "'You are what you remember.' Then I'm fucked!"

Remember Me

Alex: *memory overloading enemy* "Hope you like infomercials... Here's ALL OF THEM!"

Remember Me

Alex: "We have to climb Notre Dame Cathedral? Sick!"

Remember Me

Alex: *gets many Biohazard warnings* "Danger: Everything"

Remember Me

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "Is this a thing? Can I thing this?"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "Adobe After-Effects is after us again! Shit!"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "I am Rag-Bra, the Barbarian!"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex (in chat, while the stream was down):

"well in the mean time we bring you silent hill text version"

"James Sunderland was really sad in the house"

"He got his pipe and fought a monster"

"bad end"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: *running away from witch* "DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK! DOOR STUCK!"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "It's a dead black Klansman..."

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "But I don't want Jello children!"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "You are entirely too moist..."

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: *Murphy makes the weakest jump imaginable* "How fucking white is this guy?"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Susie: "He's a puppy! A large, gangly, eat-your-face puppy!"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: "Why is there an office in the safe?"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: *after nailing Jesus to a crucifix* "I had a nail gun and He was there! What was I supposed to do?"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Charlotte: "That dude's got a knife."

*enemy gets crushed by a door*

Susie: "Now he's got a dead."

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: *fighting the last boss* "We're gonna pull the plug, Grandpa! We need that inheritance to get the fuck outta Silent Hill!"

Silent Hill: Downpour

Alex: *quoting the music lyrics* "'Consume the darkness in my mind'?"

Susie: "You don't want to do that. You could get kuru."

Silent Hill: Downpour

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Alex: "I can just flip people off whenever I want?"

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Alex: *after getting his current car shot up, on fire, and rolling it over several times, he finds a new car*"Is this a better car? Oh, this one isn't busted!"

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Alex: "'Secure area of hostiles'? That's like the whole island!"

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Alex: *laughing* "I need to punch the nuclear reactor!"

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Alex: "♫ Slowest elevator in the universe! ♫"

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Alex: "Hang glider? I thought I was going home! How foolish of me."

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Lifeless Planet

Alex walks under some barbed wire

Alex: "Your security features are" *deadly plant appears* "wargarble!"

Lifeless Planet

Alex: *misses a jump and falls to death* "YOLOFUCKSHITASS!"

Lifeless Planet

Alice: Madness Returns

Alex: "Be cool-- BE COOL! All of this would have been avoided if you'd just been cool!"

Alice: Madness Returns

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat

Alex: "Oh my god! The energy drink is called CRUNK!"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat

Alex (reloading while being shot at): "Get into the gun, bullets!"

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat

Alex: "Now, where are we being shot from?"

Graham (whispers): "Everywhere..."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat

Alex: "Senpai, I'm so full of bullets now."

Graham: "..."

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat

Kerbal Space Program

Graham: Hey Ray, look at this rocket we're building.

*pause*

Ray (off-camera): Oh my god.

Kerbal Space Program

Besiege

Alex: "We're abusing it pretty relentlessly."

Cam: "Isn't that what it's for?"

Besiege

Graham (upon seeing the final version of "Even Worse Ideas"): "Oh my god. You listened to James, you monster."

Besiege

The Book of Passwords

Metal Gear 2

Graham: "Capture card? Capture card!"

Metal Gear 2

Jer: "The cheetah has lost to a snake?"

Graham: "Well, if the cheetah runs into a mine..."

Metal Gear 2

Graham: "When you get to Big Boss, can you ask him why he has random children just littering his facility?"

Jer: "There was talk of war orphans at some point..."

Graham: "It's pronounced 'Warphans'."

Metal Gear 2

Marathon

Ian to Jer: "I am very sorry for fisting you as hard as I can."

Marathon

Jer: "I want to find out what this is." *turns corner* "It's a barrel."

Marathon

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Graham: "That bat has a sword. Why is that bat carrying a sword?"

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Graham: "You can Moonwalk? You... can... Moonwalk?"

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Graham: "Dracula's got harpies in his clock tower for like his whole friggin' whole life. 'I'm sorry, buddy. You've got harpies. Real bad case up in your clock tower.'"

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Graham: "Jer, I will tell you when you have big balls."

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Jer: "I'm sorry. I cannot talk and speak at the same time."

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Strider

Alex: "Why do you collect a guy?"

Strider

Jer: "Why are they carrying a bus?"

Strider

Diablo

Paul: "A sign. You want me to fight deamons for A sign."

Slightly later:

Paul: "It's a sign! Make a new one!"

Diablo

Jet Grind Radio

Jer: "Don't take that police officer to the bathroom, Ash. That's really creepy."

Jet Grind Radio

Jer: "A train is going through you, at this second."

Jet Grind Radio

Ash: "Getting hit by buses: super-bad for your health."

Jet Grind Radio

Kirby's Dreamland

Tally: "We're underground! How are there coconuts?!"

Kirby's Dreamland

Tally: "You can't kill those guys... because lame."

Kirby's Dreamland

Tally: "Kitty-faced bastard!"

Kirby's Dreamland

Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara

Tally: "We killed a dragon. This is such a wonderful bonding moment. Every marriage should have more dragon slaying in it."

Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara

I, Horner

Shenmue

*Ian fighting sailors*

Ian: "Nope, wrong button."

*crashes into the bar*

Shenmue

Ryo (in game): "He used a style I've never seen."

Cori: "He just kept punching me over and over."

Ian: "The ancient art of 'stop hitting yourself'."

Shenmue

*Ian comes across a scroll titled 'Mud Spider'*

Ian: "I'm pretty sure that's racist."

Shenmue

*While trying to dial a phone number*

Ian: "Whoever is yelling out numbers in the main room, please stop."

Shenmue

*Upon discovering the shrine cat is missing*

Alex: "I swear to God, if this cat doesn't come back I am burning this office to the ground"

Ian: "Cori, get on FAQ duty; we need to find out where this cat is."

Shenmue

Ian (looking for a travel agency): "This seems like the place."

*stops in front of boarded-up shop*

Shenmue

Kathleen Saves the World

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Alex: Hey, I heard you were playing Atlus games, so I brought some neckbeard.

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Kathleen: "EFF! EFF! EFF!"

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Kathleen: "Get fucked Dante! [...] What a shitbag."

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Kathleen: "Thanks for destroying the world, ass-hat!"

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Kathleen: *sweetly* "Awwww... Thank you... Go fuck yourself."

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

Kathleen: "I'm so mad. My face hurts from snarling."

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Graham: "Oh hey, you're friends with Jesus."

Kathleen: "Turns out Jesus is really easy to be friends with."

Graham: "I should hope so."

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Final Fantasy X HD

Kathleen: "Alright, time for feels. Then it's time for Yuna to smash this guy's dick in."

Final Fantasy X HD

Final Fantasy X 2 HD

Kathleen: "Fuck your onions."

Final Fantasy X 2 HD

A Swiftly Tilting Cameron

Main Article: A Swiftly Tilting Cameron

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Would you look at that mustache? That must be the most handsome man in XCOM."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "$1? Come on! Who wants to buy a bullet-ridden corpse? We took out the important bits and replaced them with holes!" Video

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Pardonfuck?"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Here, I've got something I need you to hold; it's called 'lots of bullets'." Video

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "♫Napalm sticks to little children; all the children of the world♫"

(to the tune of "Jesus Loves the Little Children") Video

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I'm sure the inquiry will say he was killed by Martians."

After accidentally killing a civilian Video

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "That was a reasonably good turn." *takes a drink of his beverage*

As he's saying this, a Chrysalid he thought was dead bursts through the door

Cam: *nearly chokes on drink* "Hi!"

Chrysalid chows down on Bill DaCat

Cam: "Awww... You were important." Video

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "We died as we lived; making the wrong choice."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Put on your damn helmet, rookie!"

XCOM: Enemy Within (repeatedly)

Cam: "Even though it's in Edmonton"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "♫I don't want to set your van on fire... I just want start a flame in your *PSHEW!*♫"

(to the tune of "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire")

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "You: Please replace that man's internal organs with holes." *fires* "Thank you."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "The Moonbase is mine now."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I hate you all and wish you were dead. Luckily, I'll get my wish."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I found a pie in the fridge, and I'm gonna eat it, and deal with the consequences. But, I need pie right now."

After stealing pie from the Moonbase fridge during a particularly bad stream of XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I have seriously chewed through every woman who watches this show."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Please report to Doctor Vahlen to have your legs amputated."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Alex: "What's that green thing? Is that a man?"

Cam: "Um..."

Alex: "Was it a man?"

Cam: "Don't worry about it."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "We're almost definitely going to be tripping a group up here soon."

Alex: "Wait? The pigeons?"

Cam: "No, the pigeons are just hanging out."

Alex: "I bet they're aliens."

Cam: "Don't you hate on pigeons! You son of a bitch!"

Alex: "I hate on alien pigeons."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Squaddie Devin Kerr: "Enemy spotted!"

Alex and Cam: "D'oh!"

Alex: "That's a lot of... man-zorrs..."

Cam: "Eh... They'll be fine."

Alex: "... running like purple monkeys inside."

Cam: "..." *smiles* "Odd... OK..."

Alex: "Well..."

Cam: "Um..."

Alex: "They look like purple monkeys."

Cam: *mock offended* "Racist!"

Alex: "That's...!" *throws hands in air* "Sure!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Alex: "I assume you only have one rocket per round. Right?"

Cam: "Yeah."

Alex: "That sucks, but it's reasonable, 'cause rockets don't grow on trees."

Cam: "They definitely do not."

Alex: "I don't think I wanna visit that tree, if there was..."

Cam: "Yeah, no. The Rocket Tree?"

Alex: *laughs*

Cam: "The Rocket Tree is..."

Alex: "Rocketry. Amateur Rocketry. It's like, we're going to pick some today, and you're going to be REEEEEEALLY careful."

Cam: "Agreed."

Alex: "Turns out turn-over in this job is very high... Just like the bloody chunks."

Cam: "Welcome to the Rocketry Orchard!"

(...)

Cam: "The Rocket Tree, with the Farmer Von Braun."

Alex: *laughs*

Cam: "Watch out for Old Man Von Braun."

Alex: *bad German accent* "'Vonce the rockets are up, who cares vhere they come down? That's not my department,' says Wernher Von Braun."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Aww, Dr. Vahlen, did someone take away one of your toys? File a complaint with HR."

After destroying a Meld canister

XCOM: Enemy Within

Alex: "What's that vortex?"

Cam: "That's where Mexico used to be."

Alex: "Used to be?"

Cam: "Don't worry about it."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I'm glad this version of the Earth is doomed."

Alex: "This doomed world-line."

Cam "Yep. Every saved game that we pave results in the extinction of humans on that world, and by that point, I'm pretty happy. I could just sit here all night paving saved games and thinking: Seven billion, fourteen billion, twenty-one billion..."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "How is everyone this week? Doing well? Alright. Let's get y'all shot."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Six turns? If there's anything left moving on this map in six turns, I'm going to be disappointed."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "That's the third time today she's been strangled. She's basically Cheryl from Archer."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Our only other option is... well. Hm. That was our good option."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I never thought I'd be able to kill this many people in my life. Thank you, everyone."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "You. Rectify your earlier mistake."

Soldier blows sectoid away

Cam: "Adequate."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I want to missile you so hard."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Oh yeah, who's getting real food when we get back to base? (Asterisk.)"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "I'd like to think my office would have bookshelves. Pillows. A eunuch with a palm frond. You know, the essentials."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: *opens door, tripping a group of sectoids* "Hi! Candygram!" *tosses a grenade*

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "If you want to see the end-game content, there's a really easy way to do that."

Lars: "Play on easy like I did?"

Cam: "...true."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Oh for fucking out loud."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: *after getting distracted by amusing rookie names* "Where was I going with this? I was definitely thinking words."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "...giant floppy donkey dicks..."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Oh, a new subscriber! freelance108, welcome to A Swiftly Tilting Cameron, be sure to add your name to the list so I can get you killed."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: *after talking about how much he likes the game, a soldier misses a 99% shot* "I fucking hate this game so much."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Lars: *after Rookie Han is the only one left alive* "You got this Han. You could say he's going solo."

Cam: "I will kill you. I will actually kill you."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Attention aliens."

*fires rocket*

Cam: "Get wrecked."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Now, this assault guy should have the ability to..."

*soldier annihilated*

Cam: "Holy shit!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Let's get... Theatrical"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: *dismissing low-ranked soldiers in his home game* "Your contribution to Earth's defense has been noted. Thank you, come again."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: *After alien leader mentions something about power being in his grasp* "I'll put something in your grasp. No, wait, what?"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Welcome to Urf."

XCOM: Enemy Within

*game crashes during final cut-scene*

Cam: *headdesk*

XCOM: Enemy Within

*game crashes again, fails to give achievement*

Cam: "Oh for titting fuck shit! Ball chunder!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

*game crashes a third time, fails to give achievement*

Cam: "NO, YOU SON OF A... I'll KILL YOU! I! WILL! KILL! YOU!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

*final boss keeps reflecting attacks*

Cam: "Dear mother-fucker: Get wrecked."

XCOM: Enemy Within

*Cam tries to skip the final cut-scene*

Cam: "Bypass all the encryptions!"

*Windows home screen appears*

Cam: "No, not like that!"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam (shakily, after the third CTD): "I didn't think they really meant impossible when they said 'Impossible.'"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Looking down the bore of a shotgun is like looking into the keyhole of the bathroom of God."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Rookie (after missing a shot): "That's a load of bull!"

Cam: "I agree! We'll discuss it on your performance review."

Jo: "He won't make it that long."

Cam: "Oh he might. Depends how much he believes in blood clotting."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Jo: "Why does it sound like there are firetrucks approaching?"

Cam: "Oh, that's the music."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Cam (playing on the highway map): "Get in a car and run them over. Just back over them. Do something."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Cam: "We can do this."

*beat*

Cam: "We cannot actually do this. We will reap only ruin."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Cam: "Amythist, don't be ridiculous; no one comes to retrieve the bodies. That would be dangerous."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Cam: "Everything's fine. We're fine."

*two countries panic*

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Cam: "Please report to Dr. Vahlen to have your head sawn off."

XCOM: Enemy Within (12 hour stream)

Cam: "Dr. Vahlen's going to be very mad with me for letting you live. She wanted that alien's iPhone."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "When I say 'hunker down', I do not mean 'duck your head down'; just because you can't see them doesn't mean they can't see you. I shouldn't have to explain this to a nominally sapient human being."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Any asshole can play the Sims and say 'Oh, I took away the doors, and now they pee themselves to death'. It takes an artist to create a supervillain sim."

XCOM: Enemy Within

*soldier panics*

Cam: "The correct solution in this situation is to shoot one of your friends in the back of the h- *soldier kills alien* ...what?"

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "You know what? I'm just sick of your shit." *orders soldier to throw grenade at enemy*

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Zulu, I'm going to need you to take a dump right into that man's soul."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Well, we seem to have destroyed our cover. That's awkward."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: *after a completing a mission where a rookie performed admirably* "Now, what's obviously going to happen is you'll get promoted to a sniper and never get used again."

*soldier gets promoted and assigned the sniper class*

Cam: -_- "I actually called that."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Soldier: "Missed the target."

Cam. "I *know* you missed."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "We lost one member of our squad, but that doesn't mean there will be an empty bunk back home."

*soldier fails to stun Sectoid Commander*

Cam: "Fuck you."

XCOM: Enemy Within

Cam: "Daddy drinks because you suck."

XCOM: Enemy Within

*mech trooper fires during grenade launcher intro animation*

Cam: "Where did you fire that!?"

XCOM: Enemy Within

*after the stream ended*

Loadingreadyrun (in chat): HA HA FUNNY STORY EVERYONE

Loadingreadyrun (in chat): WE DIDN'T SAVE

XCOM: Enemy Within

Thief: The Dark Project

Cam: *after failing to get the hardware driver to work* "Looks like we're going to Pixel Town."

Thief: The Dark Project

*Cam turns a corner and runs straight into two guards*

Cam: "...bother."

Thief: The Dark Project

Cam: "Hold still, I'm trying to sock you!"

Thief: The Dark Project

Cam: *after fiddling with the display settings* "Randomly mashing buttons has an effect! I feel like I'm on Star Trek!"

Thief: The Dark Project

*only humorous retroactively*

Alex: "Dark Souls? One of us needs to play that game."

Cam: "Do we?"

Alex: "Well 'need' I use tentatively..."

Thief: The Dark Project

Master of Orion 2

Cam: "Aww, did your stupid crap get wrecked?"

Master of Orion 2

Cam: "Aww...our ships."

Master of Orion 2

Cam: "Oh, they've got tanks! I love watching tanks explode!"

Master of Orion 2

Cam: "Bye! I accidentally your entire colony."

Master of Orion 2

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: *after rival civilization achieves classical era* "Shit. We're going to lose."

Lars: "Wait, really?"

Cam: "Oh, we're playing Emperor. We were never going to win."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "Chat, there is absolutely no circumstance under which you could get me to take my shirt off."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: *surprising a barbarian* "Did you guys forget about Dre? It's not recommended that you forget about Dre."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "'Our people desire freedom?' That's inconvenient for us."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: *looking at new tech options shortly after a battleship battle* "Wait. We haven't developed ballistics yet? What have we been shooting?"

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: *Diplomatic Victory Screen appears* "No! No... *sad tone* We brought world peace..."

(...)

Cam: "I accidentally destroyed a world of conflict and brought forth an age of peace... Shit!"

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "Keep firing, assholes!"

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "This is preposterous."

Civilization V: Brave New World

*Graham walks in and holds phone playing Super Mario Bros. 2 theme up to microphone, then leaves*

Cam: "Graham Stark, ladies and gentlemen."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "And lo, on that day we founded Atheism. With its tithe representing the bitcoins we mine, and feed the world representing the pizza places that turned away our bitcoins."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "Muskets vs riflemen? You gotta twist that!"

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "Remind me to reactivate that guy in three turns."

Lars: "Reactivate that guy in three turns."

Cam: "I will hurt you."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Cam: "Bye, Graham. Have fun at GP Portland. Bring me back someone's ear."

Civilization V: Brave New World

*After a discussion in chat on what a "Yandere" is*

Julie: "I don't wanna kill you, sweetie."

Cam: "Yaaaay!"

Julie: "I just wanna cuddle you and squeeze you so hard you pop."

Cam: "...yaaaay."

Civilization V: Brave New World

Dark Souls

Cam (while drinking Estus): "Scuse me gotta get a gatorade."

Dark Souls

Cam: "Brawndo. It's got what undead crave."

Dark Souls

Cam: "Just chug a fetus."

Dark Souls

Cam: "I'm just gonna roll around till my stam' gets drained and get stabbed a bunch , 'kay?"

Dark Souls

Cam *after Lars repeatedly threatens to press space*: "I swear to God Lars, your mother should have eaten you while your bones were still soft."

Dark Souls

Cam: "Get. Fucked. Torch thing. Nobody likes you."

Dark Souls

Cam: "Alright Solaire, you just tank him for a bit, and I'll tunnel through to his internal organs."

*Knight Solaire has been vanquished*

Cam: Uh oh!"

Dark Souls

*Upon defeating the Gaping Dragon after umpteen tries*

Cam: "Alright. Simple enough."

Dark Souls

*Dives off the edge trying to dodge poop troll*

Cam: "BYE!"

Dark Souls

Graham: "I see you've met the mosquitoes."

Cam: "Fuck this game. It was stuck on me; I was inside it."

Dark Souls

Cam: "I feel funny, Quelaag-chan."

Alex: *loses it*

Dark Souls

Cam: "No one is going home until this thing is dead."

Dark Souls

Cam: "Now, where's this chucklefuck?"

*javelin embeds itself in stone next to Cam*

Cam: O_O

Dark Souls

Cam (repeatedly): "ING!ING!ING!ING!"

Dark Souls

Cam (repeatedly): "Camera, please."

Dark Souls

World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Cam: "How do you kill green mobs like that? Easy, you just don't lead 'em as much."

World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Valkyria Chronicles

*After a tank emerges from being submerged in a river*

Lars: "So, let's just back this up for a moment and talk about how an internal *combustion* engine works."

Valkyria Chronicles

Bloodborne

Cam (in combat): "Have you considered fucking right the hell off?"

Bloodborne

Julie: "Hit it in the butt!"

Cam: "I'm trying, woman!"

Bloodborne

Julie: "It has an anus."

Cam: "It *had* an anus."

Bloodborne

Cam (in combat): "I ain't got time for your shit, son."

Bloodborne

Video Games with Video James

Minecraft

James: *checking stream on the phone to check video quality* "Oh my God, move, me from the past!"

Minecraft

James: "Oh shit, there's a whole tree over there! Oh, wait. That's my tree. DURR!"

Minecraft

James: "Hey, we got it! Oh, no we didn't. That was death."

Minecraft

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

James: "How do I shield? How do I shield? Does anyone know how to shield?"

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

James: "P.S. You can do magic now."

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

NPC: "Welcome to Gorhart!"

James: "Nobody cares."

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

James: "You will know my name because wherever I go, there will be dead chickens in my path."

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

LRRMTG

Graham: "Kathleen's at the gym, but she's coming back when she's done on the elliptical... which is just her reading The Economist."

Magic: the Gathering Online

Nirvana: "What does our deck even do?"

Graham: *contemplating many cuts* "It kills people... It kills people really good."

Magic: the Gathering Online

Cam: *in response to a troll claiming he said yeah too often* "Yeah..."

Magic the Gathering Online

Graham: "I can't believe you guys are creating fanfic featuring relationships between our chatroom moderation bot and our air conditioner."

*pause*

Graham: "I love you guys."

Magic the Gathering Online

Graham: *in response to Kathleen trying to give him affection on-stream* "No... Not in front of the chat..."

Magic: the Gathering Online

Magic the Gathering stream starts, Cam introduces it, explaining where Graham, Kathleen, and James are*

Cam: *looks around* "Wait, do you guys hear something?"

*turns around, rips green screen fabric off something in the back, revealing Alex behind him*

Magic the Gathering Online

House of Stark

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "You just straight up killed the president, you DINK!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Friend balloon! Nooo!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Because God forbid I move A CHAIR."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Who keeps giving you a shotgun?"

Resident Evil 6

Graham shooting Rasklapanjes in a toilet

Graham: "Alright, I am never going to the toilet in China, ever again."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "If a person gets hit by a bus, the bus is winning."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "It's a good thing we're on the express; you don't find this much ammo on the local."

Resident Evil 6

Graham facepalms

Graham: "When did this become a Rom-Com?"

Resident Evil 6

Maya: "He's eating them and making himself stronger! Because zombies are additive!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "That's what you're going to say, 'He just doesn't quit', as opposed to 'WHAT THE MOTHERING SHIT WAS THAT?!'"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Ha! Screw your bonsai tree!"

Maya: "I spent so many years growing that tree!"

Graham:" Yeah? Well, now an American is here to save from it."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "That is no longer Marco, that is a swarm of- what in the hell?"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Only the finest Dim-Sum restaurants serve grenade launcher ammo with the meal."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Dix, I know this isn't your branch of the military, but do aircraft carriers usually have vats of lava?"

Dix (in chat): "UH WHAT"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Chris Vs. Leon! Who will win? Nobody cares."

Resident Evil 6

Recurring:

Graham: "SHOOT {Him/Her}!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Why aren't they talking in Chinese? Why are they using racist movie Chinese?"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: *pushes enemy over rail* "Have a nice trip... See you next... eat my ass."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Oh no! I hate the testicle wasps!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "I mean come back, I guess? I don't really wish to associate with you further, but I think that's part of my mission."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Chris, level with me: how much have you had to drink today? Seriously?"

Resident Evil 6

As a three-story zombie appears

Graham: "Uhm... question. Ya'll see that, right? I haven't had too much peanut sauce?"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Hey; just cuz you've got your memory back doesn't make you the boss of me!" [pause] "That you are the Captain of this squad technically makes you the boss of me, but I still don't have to like it!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "J'avooooo...come out to plaaaaaayyyyy..."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Bruce Willis is, Jake Kickpunch in, 'Die Hard: Live Free, or Fuck Off'"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: *sees an icon on a corpse* "Can I vault that?"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: *shoots zombies off a ladder one by one* "This is my new favorite thing!"

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "I don't like these guys. They're weird and... weird."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "Oh! It's a cutscene. We're fine."

Resident Evil 6

Graham: "35... money... for this textured pile?! Amazing!"

(later)

Graham: "35 money is an amount! These are on sale for 15!"

Resident Evil 6

*Graham sniping zombies*

Graham: "Hey lady."

*gunshot*

Graham: "Hey dude."

*gunshot*

Graham: "Hey other lady."

*gunshot*

Resident Evil 6

While fighting T-Rex!Simmons in a helicopter

Graham: "Oh hey Dix. Again, not your branch of the military, but d'you have any idea how much ordnance a helicopter like this usually carries?"

Dix: (in chat) "Absolutely no idea. Get back to me in like 2 years after I drop a Helicopter flight officer packet."

Resident Evil 6

Fighting Simmons

Simmons: "Every last piece of you belongs to me!"

Graham: "What, all of it? Including the taint? And the back of the knee?"

Resident Evil 6

Minecraft

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: *in Alan Wake near-monotone narration voice* "Demon fliers: They can get fucked."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: *in Alan Wake near-monotone narration voice* "Arizona: There ain't shit."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: *watching evil double wrap hand* "Is he making land-line knuckles? The worst garrote in the world? What is going on? He is making land-line knuckles... Why do we have to do this over Skype?"

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: *in "Dark" voice, in response to an on-screen command* "Tell me about the signal."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: "Okay, what do you want me to put in you: spiders or the D? Because I'm super not okay with one of them, and I probably shouldn't do the other one either."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: "Ha! Oh... I thought I had a different gun equipped. But it still worked out well, so my 'Ha!' still stands."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: "Everything's fine. We're just caught in a time loop."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: *in Alan Wake near-monotone narration voice* "Alan Wake. The man who came to kick ass and chew bubblegum and found himself, unfortunately, entirely out of gum."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Graham: "Wow, he just walked through that cactus like he did not care about his genitals."

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Kathleen: "Is his long term plan to kill Alan through Vitamin D deficiency?"

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: "What light is this?! What is lighting me?! I want to kill it!"

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: *lifts prisoner out of cage* "Yoink!"

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: *to chopper* "Do NOT land on my prisoners!"

*chopper slowly descends above prisoners* "Don't do it."

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: *accidentally runs over a guy with the truck, alerting everyone* "Shit!"

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: *driving a tank, in a silly, ironic voice* "I'm being stealthy! Hello!" *fires tank's gun*

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: *mockingly* "We're engaged with an enemy force. We're getting married in the spring."

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Graham: "I think I just crushed a rat by diving on it."

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes

Goat Simulator

Graham: "I can't disengage the blowhole!"

Goat Simulator

Alex: *as the all-traits-but-robot goat flails horrifyingly into the sky* "Godspeed, young cosmogoat."

Goat Simulator

Alex: *walks into in-game version of developer's studio with the all-traits-but-robot goat* "Mother! I have come for you! Why did you make me!?"

Goat Simulator

Kathleen: "They're still having their picnic."

Graham: "Not for long!" *dumps giant goat on picnic table*

Goat Simulator

Dark Souls

Hellkite Dragon lands directly in Graham's path, then flies off

Alex: "Oh... hello."
Graham: "Mmm... mm-hm... mmmm-hm. Alright then, it's been fun." [About faces and runs back the way he came]
Alex: "You just go home... wherever home is. Turns out it's at the bottom of a well."

Dark Souls

Graham: "This looks suspicious..."

dragon appears

Alex: "BWAWK!"

Dark Souls

Graham: "Who put a boar in armour, and how!?"

Dark Souls

Graham: "How do I use this?"

Alex: "You have to speak to an NPC that doesn't talk to you."

Dark Souls

Graham: "I'm going that way anyway, but this way, I don't have to fight DogBall again."

Dark Souls

Alex: *after enemy rolls backwards off platform* "Did he just YOLO-cide?"

Dark Souls

Graham: "What's this way?"

Alex: "I don't remember... Oh wait, I do remember..."

Graham: "Is it death?"

Alex: "Think about that question."

Dark Souls

Graham: "Let's go back up to... up."

Dark Souls

Graham: "Why is there a dead guy over here? Wait, Graham. You've played Resident Evil. Why would you think he was dead? He's not dead at all! He's big and scary!"

Dark Souls

Graham: *mimicking reproaching voice* "Graham, there were only five salamanders in the world, and you've killed the last one."

"But I only killed four!"

*reproaching voice* "One of them was pregnant."

Alex loses it

Dark Souls

Graham: "How do you fight it?"

Alex: "With fight."

Dark Souls

Graham: "Wooo! Spring break! I beat it with no pants! I beat it with no pants! I get a cookie!"

Dark Souls

Graham: "I am going to shit-fling the Capra Demon before the evening is out."

Dark Souls

Viscera Detail

Graham: "You guys are going to have a brand-new facility by the time I'm done."

*accidentally sets wall on fire*

Graham: "Uh oh."

Viscera Detail

*Slosh-o-Matic dispenses severed limb instead of bucket*

Graham: "I really wish people would stop leaving legs in the Slosh-o-Matic."

Viscera Detail

*scanner keeps detecting mess nearby*

Graham:"Where!? Where is dirty!? I've cleaned everywhere! What do you want!?"

Viscera Detail

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

*while running through the holding cells in the police station*

Prostitute: "Sorry babe, can't do it through the bars."

Graham: "That is a lie! I have seen that."

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham: "Eat my ass, Pritchard!"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Prostitute: "There's just *something* about a man who's augmented."

Graham: "...and that something is made of metal and carbon fibre."

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

*accidentally moves from one piece of cover to the next, interrupting gang conversation*

Gang Member: "Somebody there?"

Graham: "Nope."

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Businessman: "I'm sure you have a file on me as thick as you have on Taggart."

Graham: "Oh, I have a thick file alright...wait, I'm sorry, what were we talking about?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Citizen (in Mandarin): "I'm busy."

Graham (as Drunk Jensen): "I'm busy too. I don't even speak you language; how did I even understand that?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham (still as Drunk Jensen): "Why can't I fit through this man-sized hole?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham: "You don't have to go through the drawers. I just have to go through all the drawers."

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Sarif: "We can't afford another punch in the face."

Graham: "...or can we?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham: [To Alex] "Your cat's poop looks like almonds?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham: *bursts through door* "Heeeere's Fisty!"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham: "It literally is the Drunk Jensen lightning round!"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Mrphlip (in chat): "I'm *not* adding "shoot them in the tits" to !advice. Just saying that now."

Graham: "Thank you, Mrphlip."

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

*Graham looking at the main menu after watching the first ending*

Graham: "New game plus!? *sighs* Oh, were gonna be here a while."

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Graham: "If you could, you would totally download a baby. Instead of carrying it around for eight months. (Thinks) Or nine months if you don't want a premature baby. Why did I say eight months?"

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Destiny

Matt: "Oh shit. I have girl guide cookies in my freezer."

Graham: "You son of a bitch!"

Destiny

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Graham: "Now, if I could just not fall in a pit."

*immediately falls in pit*

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

Grand Theft Auto V

Graham: "Calm down, I just need your bike so I can get to my blimp!"

Grand Theft Auto V

Nightvalien28 (in chat) jokingly suggests holding R2 during a glitched mission

Graham: "Nightvalien, I will put you through a window."

Grand Theft Auto V

Gat Out of Hell

Graham: "Where did you end up?"

Sean: "In the lava."

Graham: "So, what you're saying is, we don't have an armoured car anymore."

Gat Out of Hell

Let's Nope

Outlast

Alex: "Where the frick is the frickin' frick that I'm supposed to frick?"

Outlast

Alex: "Where's the 'bite your own tongue and bleed to death' button? Is it 'K"? No, that didn't work."

Outlast

Alex: "Eat a shit dick in the Waffle House!"

Outlast

Graham: *explaining why the stream went down* "I believe the technical term for this is that the program shit its ass inside-out."

Outlast

Graham: "I expected much worse."

Alex: "Much worse than having your fucking fingers cut off by a toilet knife!?"

Graham: "Toilet scissors, please."

Cam: "Urinal shears."

Outlast

Graham: "Uh...what? LRRbot subscribed? Skynet, thank you for subscribing!"

Outlast

Alex hides in a locker

Cam: "Canned meat."

Alex: "Thanks Cam."

Outlast

Graham: "Alex has gone full poultry. I've never seen Alex go full poultry before."

Outlast

Graham: "The laundry chute needs three fuses."

Alex: "Three!?"

Kathleen: "Get fucked!"

Alex: "Fffffffffffffff"

Outlast

Alex: "Spaghet! Wait, wait, wait... He hasn't spaghetted us yet."

Kathleen: "Uh... He's spaghetted you."

Alex: "No, he hasn't."

Kathleen: "Oh, he's running!"

Alex: "The music hasn't started."

Graham: "He's sphagetting right for you."

Alex: "He can spaghett fucked."

Outlast

*Alex opens door to find an ice tunnel*

Kathleen: "We're in a Bond lair."

Outlast

*"Crumple Wiltskin" gets owned by the Walrider*

Alex: *raises camera* "Imma YouTube this shit!"

Outlast

*Alex finds a severed head in a jar*

Graham: *muffled* "I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my least-favorite jar in the Citadel."

Outlast

*Game displays "New objective: Get out."*

Alex: "What do you mean new objective!?"

Outlast

Among the Sleep

Alex: "Is there a socket around here? And a butter knife?"

Among the Sleep

Teddy: "I don't think we're supposed to be here."

Alex: "*You* fucking led me here!"

Among the Sleep

Alex: "If you think I am crawling around in this spooky-ass house without a full diaper, you are sadly mistaken."

Among the Sleep

*crawls into a room covered in rusted panels*

Alex: "...aaaaand, Silent Hill."

Among the Sleep

*distant screaming*

Beej: "That's the sound of children having fun."

Among the Sleep

Alex: "We died! We're dead! We're 100% dead! We died! We're dead! We died! We're dead!"

Among the Sleep

Beej: "Why weren't you trying to hide!?"

Alex: "What happened, Beej, was that I freaked out..."

Beej: "Yeah."

Alex: "...and then we died."

Among the Sleep

Beej: "This game has Occulus support."

Alex: "Fuck! That! In the ear!"

Among the Sleep

*while Alex hides from the nearby monster*

Alex: "Dick! Shit! Ass! Fuck! Colonoscopy! Barbara Streisand!"

Among the Sleep

Alex: "Mom, I need you to be straight with me. Did you make a pact with Satan?"

Among the Sleep

Viscera Cleanup Detail

Beej: "You know what would make this worse?"

*Alex picks up lamp and breaks it*

Alex: "Shit!"

Viscera Cleanup Detail

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Alex: "Why did it have to be mannequins?"

Condemned: Criminal Origins

*ragdoll flailing against a wall*

Alex: "I need an old priest and a young priest!"

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Alex: "That's a dude."

Serge: "Nah, that's a mannequin."

Alex: "Mannequins don't have idle stances, Serge!"

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Serge: "Wait, there's a pardon-fuck counter?"

Chat (Ritchards): "Serge, we count everything!"

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Alex: "Let me see if I can bury you."

*repeatedly smacks body with shovel*

Condemned: Criminal Origins

*sounds of thumping and grunting coming from the next room*

Alex: "Wow, they are going to town."

Serge: "It's ok, it sounds consensual."

Alex: -_-

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Serge: "Alex, repeat after me."

Alex: "ASS!"

Serge: "I must not fear."

Alex: "ASS!"

Serge: "Fear is the little death that brings total annihilation."

Alex: "ASS!"

Serge: "I will face my fear."

Alex: "Ass!"

Serge: "I will permit it to pass over me and through me."

Alex: "Ass!"

Serge: "And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path."

Alex: "Ass."

Serge: "And when the fear has gone there will be nothing..."

Alex: "Ass."

Serge: "...only I will remain."

Alex: "...ass."

Condemned: Criminal Origins

*Rosa notices there's a master key in a door lock*

Alex: "Sweet! Looks like somebody was doing a speedrun and fucked up."

Condemned: Criminal Origins'

Serge: "Also, what is a waifu?"

Alex: "Uhh..."

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Alex (singing terribly): "All we are saying...is give us a break."

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Alex: "Fuck you clown! Clown, fuck youuuuuuu!"

Condemned: Criminal Origins

Doorways

Alex: "Man, the love shack's really gone down hill."

Doorways

Mia: "That's an odd way to do things. It's like an Ikea torture device."

Doorways

*flash of woman rotating on torture wheel*

Mia: "Well, that's one way to make hamburgers."

Doorways

Alex: "I fixed all your stupid torture devices. You'll get my invoice in the mail."

Doorways

Stalker: Call of Pripyat

*Alex discovers a copy of 'Mein Kampf* in an NPC's inventory

Alex: "What!? Why is that in there!?"

Mia: The *one* night you bring the Jewish girl in.

Stalker: Call of Pripyat

Alex: "Hey Mia, where's my shotgun?"

Stalker: Call of Pripyat

Afterfall: Insanity

Graham: "Do those knee-pads come in handy when you're sucking the Colonel's dick!?"

Alex: O_O

NPC: "Hey man, don't shoot the messenger."

Afterfall: Insanity

Alex: "So, you explained the knee-pads. What are the shoulder pads for?"

Graham: "Shhh..."

Afterfall: Insanity

Alex: "I swear, if I make a horror game, I will never include a section where you have to turn the power back on."

Graham: "But Alex, how would there be power to the doors?"

Alex: *burps*

Afterfall: Insanity

Five Nights at Freddy's

*Alex switches to the dining room camera and finds Bonnie has moved there*

Alex: "Fuck everything forever."

Five Nights at Freddy's

*Alex switches light on, which reveals Bonnie in the hallway*

Alex: "Oh hi!"

*shuts door*

Alex: "Get fucked!"

Five Nights at Freddy's

Alex: "Like, I know it's coming-" *Freddy jumps out*

Five Nights at Freddy's

Alex: "I wish... I was playing... Outlast..."

Five Nights at Freddy's

Alex: "What does the fox say? [...] <BLAERGH!!!>"

Five Nights at Freddy's

*Alex has just closed both doors with robots at each one*

Alex: "We live here now! We live here now..."

Ash: "And we're good!"

Alex: "We'll just sit here 'til the end of time... The end of time..."

Five Nights at Freddy's

*Freddy glitch appears on screen*

Alex: "What the fuck?! What in the fuck is that!?"

Ash: "I don't know!"

Alex: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW!?!?"

Five Nights at Freddy's

*Spots the Golden Freddie Poster, then closes the monitor to see Golden Freddie in the control room*

Ash: "Oh, God!"

Alex: "Oh, good, Hi! We're dead... We're dead..."

*Alex backs away and raises his hands in the air, and Freddie gets them*

*The stream screen goes dark and Alex laughs nervously*

Alex: "We just got..."

*Alex wheels back looking shocked*

Alex: "You can't see this, but it just quit the game!"

*Ash laughs*

Alex: "Do we die in real life now?"

Five Nights at Freddy's

*While waiting for Chica to ambush them, Ash is covering her face.*

Ash: "Ash? BAWK-BAWK-BAWK-BAWK!!!"

*Continues to "BAWK" as Chicka jumps them and Ash screams*

*They both laugh after a moment*

Alex: "We're BAWK-ED!"

Five Nights at Freddy's

Penumbra: Requiem

Alex: *opens door to check if the coast is clear*

*monster walks past*

Alex: *manic laughter* *shuts door*

Penumbra: Requiem

Clive Barker's Undying

*while Alex messes around with graphics options on the PC*

Kathleen: "You should save the game before you do this, Alex."

Alex: "That would be a good idea."

*Alex clicks back to game and immediately kills the maid by accident*

Clive Barker's Undying

The Evil Within

Ian: "This is like a mix between Return of the Jedi and Monty Python."

The Evil Within

Graham (as disembodied head on side of camera): "I am led to believe you can break boxes in this game. Yeeeess, my disembodied head is pleeeeeased."

The Evil Within

Ian: "This is Legend of Zelda levels of property damage."

The Evil Within

Alex: "But how does it cut chain?"

Ian: "It’s a CHAINsaw, Alex. In the same way a woodsaw is for wood, and a bonesaw is for Spider-Man."

The Evil Within

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

James: "We have five minutes to find a bong, then we can 420 blaze it."

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Alex (trying to stack boxes): "This is the worst Minecraft mod ever."

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

James: "I hate fun. I am the worst."

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Serge: "Oh, we're playing as a racist. Isn't that nice?"

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Alex: "This looks like acid." *touches it, gets burned*

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Alex: "The moral of the story is: WHITE PEOPLE!" *shakes fist angrily*

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Neverending Nightmares

*Alex come across a pit of moving doll arms, with a narrow plank across it*

Alex: "What the actual ass!?"

Neverending Nightmares

Condemned 2

Alex: *picks up prosthetic arm* "Now we're armed."

Condemned 2

Spooky's House of Jump Scares

Alex: Run quickly! Run more quickly! Ahahahahahah!"

Spooky's House of Jump Scares

Alex: Fuck you, Pumpkin! Eat shit!"

Spooky's House of Jump Scares

Alex: <incoherent gibberish>

Spooky's House of Jump Scares

Graham: "Who put their skull in the shoe cupboard?"

Spooky's House of Jump Scares

Exodus from the Earth

Woman: "I can just imagine the son of a bitch chasing his monkey."

Graham: "Is that a euphemism for something?"

Exodus from the Earth

Watch + Play

Air Control

Graham: "How did they make this much garbage?"

Alex: "Because they're filthy animals, that's why."

Air Control

*Game enters 'Flappy Bird' mode*

Alex: "Wha- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Air Control

*Game enters 'Flappy Bird' mode a second time*

Alex: "You... Fucking... Fuck... Dick... Ass..."

Air Control

Graham: "Whose brain is that and why is it rolling away from you?"

Air Control

*Alex wades through a sea of organs*

Graham: "How many people got on this plane!?"

Alex *turns to around to look at the passengers and organs*: "That many."

Air Control

Alex: "Where the fuck is the ground, Graham!?"

Air Control

Graham (mimicking an aeroplane annoncement): "In the event of a water landing, the plane will nose lazily into the ocean and come to a full stop."

Air Control

The Hat Man: Shadow Ward

*Alex picks up a book, causing the game to shift into "horror game" mode*

Alex: "Shit, I turned on Silent Hill. Ah...where's the 'turn off Silent Hill' button?"

The Hat Man: Shadow Ward

Graham: "And now, Alex Steacy will review this video game, through a mouthful of strudel."

Alex: "Oh my god. Can that be a thing on this channel, please?"

The Hat Man: Shadow Ward

Goat Simulator

Alex: "There's one last thing I have to do."

*Graham notices Alex dragging a car towards the Scrambler*

Graham: "HOLY SHIT! NO!"

Alex: "Yesssss..."

Goat Simulator

Alpha Zylon

*Alex dies to a hidden trap*

Alex: "So, this is Dark Souls."

Alpha Zylon

*hostages speaking gibberish*

Alex: "They're speaking racist."

Alpha Zylon

Graham: "PLEASE_ugbhfnghblhrbn has just subscribed!"

Alpha Zylon

A New Reckoning

Alex: "My patch notes for this game will be: turn the spider faucet off."

A New Reckoning

Alex: "This is what we call a fuck of spiders."

A New Reckoning

Kathleen: "So, what is the plot for this game?"

*Graham and Alex crack up laughing*

A New Reckoning

4PM

Graham: "So Alex, how do you feel about a psychological thriller?"

Alex: "Uh oh."

4PM

Graham: "This is a game that is so far up its own ass, it's coming out its mouth."

4PM

The You Testament

Graham: "Dude, it's you and Muhammed!? You are so fucked!"

The You Testament

*Alex accidentally switches the game to wireframe mode*

Alex and Graham: "AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The You Testament

Graham (reading chat): "Wait, in the game, you can impregnate women through hugs?"

Alex: "Yeah. That's how it works, right?"

Graham: "...yes. That is how that works."

The You Testament

The Zoo Race

*Cam walks in, sees Alex's character stuck in the air*

Cam: "What have you done?"

The Zoo Race

Graham (trying to calm down from laughing): "I am in a considerable amount of distress."

The Zoo Race

Alex: "I overshot the finish line and fell off the world!"

The Zoo Race

Graham: "This is like the worst Disneyland ride ever!"

The Zoo Race

Real Horror Stories

*shadow dashes across the screen for the fifth time*

Graham: "Who *is* that asshole?"

Real Horror Stories

Executive Towers

Alex, commenting on the NPC animations: "I've heard stories about what it's like to be on drain opener, but I've never seen it."

Executive Towers

Twin Sectors

Alex throws burning gas bottle at a door, blowing it open"

Oscar: "You made a good call on that door, Nine."

Graham: "No you didn't!"

Twin Sectors

Meeuuw

Graham: I don't know why this game exists.

Alex: I don't care why this game exists. It's marvellous.

Meeuuw

Graham: "If seagulls could breathe fire, they would be utter bastards."

Meeuuw

Crossing the Streams

Minecraft: Super Hostile

Alex: *while being pursued by a pack of Creepers* "Oh shit. Double shit. A thousand shit."

Minecraft: Super Hostile

Graham: "I'm just going to-" *walks into lava* "...oh."

Minecraft: Super Hostile

*explosion*

Alex (off-camera): *screams*

Minecraft: Super Hostile

Graham: "AnimusFallen has just- OH GOD THERE'S SILVERFISH EVERYWHERE!"

Minecraft: Super Hostile

Graham: "I FOUND THE WOOL! IT'S THROUGH A ROOM OF NOTHING BUT DEATH!"

Minecraft: Super Hostile

Dokapon Kingdom

Heather: "Is that sexy to you?"

Cam: "It's awfully low res. I generally prefer my women a bit higher res."

Dokapon Kingdom

Cam: "Where's my hat? Where's my fucking hat!? I went to Hell, and came back with a beard."

Dokapon Kingdom

*Cam comes back in after Cori accidentally makes the Money Trickster betray Cam and steal his money*

Cam: "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"

*later*

Cam: "You're all laughing at me now, but you have no idea where I just peed."

Dokapon Kingdom

Cam: "Eat shit, pixie!"

Dokapon Kingdom

Cori (to Beej): "First, I will punch this game, then I will punch you."

Dokapon Kingdom

Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory

Graham: "Oh no...you can put your own textures in the game."

Cam: "I'm sure that hasn't been abused at all."

Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory

Mario Party 8

Beej: "I'm Beej."

*pause; Beej gestures for the others to introduce themselves*

Heather: "I'm not Beej."

Ian: "I am also not Beej."

Cam: "I am Beej."

Mario Party 8

Adam's GameHaus

Asura's Wrath

Adam: "Listen, we're not here to fuck spiders."

Asura's Wrath

Adam: "If there is a face, then we can punch it!"

Asura's Wrath

Adam: "Now kiss!"

Asura's Wrath

Adam: "Lava arms? Whatever dude, been there, done that, got the t-shirt."

Asura's Wrath

Dead Space

Adam " If I ever have to move I'm inviting Isaac Clark. Not, you know, because of lifting things, it's because my house is infested with aliens."

Dead Space

The Walking Dead

Adam: "What happened to the zombies?"

Morgan: "Didn't you shoot them all in the face?"

Adam: "Oh, that's right, I did!"

The Walking Dead

Tinker Tailor Solder Fry

*Ian talks about a jacket that still has needles embedded in it*

Alex: "Just run it through an MRI."

Cori: "That's how you break an MRI!"

Alex: "It's fine."

Non-LRL Streams

StreamBros

Titanfall

Game: "Warning! Another titan is attacking you!"

Matt: *facing and directly engaged in battle with said titan* "I can tell..."

Titanfall

Matt: *after shooting a teammate accidentally* "Something something, check your corners. Something something, friendly fire."

Titanfall

Andrew: "There are like 40 guys around."

Matt: "They're inside this building."

Andrew: *gets lost* "This? No..."

Matt: "Clearly not in that part of the building. That is a wall, Andrew."

Titanfall

Matt (to Andrew): "There's a dude on that roof! There's a dude on that roof! You should shoot the dude on that roof!"

Titanfall

Matt: "Victory!"

Andrew: "I shall celebrate by shooting that guy."

Matt: "By shooting that dude straight in the face."

Titanfall

Andrew: *regarding microphone issues on the Kinect* "I think we're going in and out depending on..." *sound cuts out as he continues speaking*

Titanfall

Matt: "Basically, Ashton and myself, and uh... LeeLee and Andrew should all just get together and make our own sketch comedy troupe, with blackjack and hookers. It'll be great! LRR North!"

Titanfall

Matt: "Matt 'Bounces Off Walls' Wiggins!"

Titanfall

Andrew: "When we sign off of here in a little bit, we're going to watch the new Captain America movie."

Matt: "CAPTAIN 'MERIKUH!"

Andrew: "Holy shit, that game looks amazing!"

Matt: "Uh... That's a movie."

Andrew: "That movie looks amazing, too!"

Matt: "I don't there is a new Captain Amovie..."

Andrew: "I don't think so, either."

Matt: "CAPTAIN AMOVIEKA!"

Andrew: "Captain of Movies!"

Titanfall

Matt: *chooses "Massive Payload" burn card*

Andrew: "Would you like to hear about my massive payload?"

Matt: *turns to face Andrew slowly*

Titanfall

Matt: *checking the quotes page* "I don't remember saying half of these things."

Titanfall

Matt: "That's a titan. It can see you. And you're dead."

Andrew: "That was just a guy."

Matt: "That was an AI guy, too."

Titanfall

Matt: "That's a shield. That's an enemy! That's a lot of fucking exploding!"

Titanfall

Peggle 2

Andrew: "Did I just de-op us from our own channel?"

Peggle 2

Matt: "Matt 'Has a ton of balls' Wiggins"

Peggle 2

Starwhal: Just the Tip

Matt: "And here we see the majestic FUUUUUUUUCK!"

Starwhal: Just the Tip

Andrew: "I'm trapped on his mouth!"

Starwhal: Just the Tip

Broforce

Andrew: "You're back! You're dead."

Matt: "I'm alive! I'm dead."

Andrew: "You're alive again! Make the most of it this time!"

Matt: "And I'm dead again."

Broforce

*Andrew accidentally punches an explosive barrel*'

Matt: "Really? Really."

Andrew: "What?"

Matt: "You blew us both up."

Andrew: "No, I didn't."

Matt: "Yes, you did."

Andrew: "What'd I do?"

Matt: "You blew us both up."

Andrew: "How?"

Matt: "By blowing us both up."

Andrew: "I was just punching guys."

Matt: "You blew us. Both up."

Andrew: "I am very strongly starting to suspect you're making shit up."

Matt: *talking over him* "You blew. Us both up."

Broforce

RocketsRocketsRockets

Ashton: "I was controlling the wrong rocket the entire time..."

RocketsRocketsRockets

Dungeons of Dredmor

Andrew: *while in the basement of a library* "Who left this street lamp down here?"

Dungeons of Dredmor

Andrew: "The techno-sewers!"

Dungeons of Dredmor

Andrew: *facetiously* "Sweet! Small crossbow! 1 damage! Get wrecked!"

Dungeons of Dredmor

Andrew: "Oh my God, it's a clone army down there! I'm fighting George Lucas!"

Dungeons of Dredmor

@@ Line 1,147: / Line 1,147: @@
 :''*javelin embeds itself in stone next to Cam*''
 :Cam: O_O
+::'''''Dark Souls'''''
+*Cam (repeatedly): "ING!ING!ING!ING!"
+::'''''Dark Souls'''''
+*Cam (repeatedly): "Camera, please."
 ::'''''Dark Souls'''''
@@ Line 1,753: / Line 1,757: @@
 *Graham: "Who put their skull in the shoe cupboard?"
 ::'''''Spooky's House of Jump Scares'''''
+==Exodus from the Earth==
+*Woman: "I can just imagine the son of a bitch chasing his monkey."
+:Graham: "Is that a euphemism for something?"
+::'''''Exodus from the Earth'''''
 =Watch + Play=
@@ Line 1,913: / Line 1,922: @@
 :Cam: "I'm sure that hasn't been abused at all."
 ::'''''Hyperdimension Neptunia Victory'''''
+==Mario Party 8==
+*Beej: "I'm Beej."
+:''*pause; Beej gestures for the others to introduce themselves*''
+:Heather: "I'm not Beej."
+:Ian: "I am also not Beej."
+:Cam: "I am Beej."
+::'''''Mario Party 8'''''
 =Adam's GameHaus=
@@ Line 1,932: / Line 1,949: @@
 :Adam: "Oh, that's right, I did!"
 ::'''''The Walking Dead'''''
+=Tinker Tailor Solder Fry=
+*''*Ian talks about a jacket that still has needles embedded in it*''
+:Alex: "Just run it through an MRI."
+:Cori: "That's how you break an MRI!"
+:Alex: "It's fine."
 =Non-LRL Streams=

Difference between revisions of "LoadingReadyRun Streams Quotes"

Revision as of 03:10, 3 July 2016

CheckPointPlus

Graham & Paul Let's Play

Dark

Beyond: Two Souls

Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance

The Witcher 2

Ryse: Son of Rome

Killzone: Shadowfall

Psychonauts

Things on My Stream

Oni

Out of This World

Psychonauts

Loom

Beej's Backlog

Endless Ocean

Prince of Persia: Warrior Within

Odama

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life

Star Wars Rogue Squadron III: Rebel Strike

Yoot Tower

Super Princess Peach

Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

IDDQDerp

Metro: Last Light

Prayer Warriors: All Out for God

Killing Floor

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Payday 2: The Heist

Half Life 2: SMOD

Dishonored

Dementium 2: HD

Thief (2014)

Teslagrad

Bulletstorm

Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken

Remember Me

Silent Hill: Downpour

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Lifeless Planet

Alice: Madness Returns

S.T.A.L.K.E.R: Call of Pripyat

Kerbal Space Program

Besiege

The Book of Passwords

Metal Gear 2

Marathon

Castlevania: Rondo of Blood

Strider

Diablo

Jet Grind Radio

Kirby's Dreamland

Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara

I, Horner

Shenmue

Kathleen Saves the World

Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne

South Park: The Stick of Truth

Final Fantasy X HD

Final Fantasy X 2 HD

A Swiftly Tilting Cameron

XCOM: Enemy Within

Thief: The Dark Project

Master of Orion 2

Civilization V: Brave New World

Dark Souls

World of Warcraft: Cataclysm

Valkyria Chronicles

Bloodborne

Video Games with Video James

Minecraft

Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

LRRMTG

House of Stark

Resident Evil 6

Minecraft

Alan Wake's American Nightmare

Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes