List of Qwerpline Characters
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Revision as of 00:41, 26 August 2019 by Road-hog123 (talk | contribs) (Add Kenneth Lancer and Montgomery Kone)
This page lists characters that have appeared on the podcast Qwerpline.
Name | Voice Actor | Description |
---|---|---|
Alex ("A-Train") | Alex | Co-host of Qwerpline and current Aldersm'n of Therpston County. |
Ball Hinkley | Beej | A local business owner and author. He sells organic perfumes made from locally sourced items from around his home in East Sump Acres. |
Barbara Dooley | Kathleen | She's a birder. |
Burtha Burpwinter | N/A | Knows about Nsberg's Historic Cellars. 3 interviews with her have been attempted. |
Captain John Gordon | N/A | Sole member of the Nsburg Volunteer Coast Guard. |
Chet Buntsman | Ian | QWRP's first attempt at a Sports Reporter. Former coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team. |
Clementine "Clem" Alberts | Kathleen | QWRP's second Sports Reporter. Would like to be called "Clementine," please. |
Dale "The Chuzzler" Chuzzle | N/A | Professional rally-car driver and local celebrity. Competed at Dakar and Le Mans, although he lost. |
Darren von Spront | Ian | Local (possibly self-proclaimed) tech wunderkind. He engaged in a patent dispute with Raphael Crinklestouf, and discovered a new (and extremely radioactive) element. |
Derek the Intern | Beej | 19-year-old intern who is frequently sent out for on-location work. |
Dr. Melissa McFeels | Kathleen | Coach of the Nsburg High Talcum Puffs girl's field hockey team. Always gives 110%. |
Dr. Slavoj Dinkwither | Graham | Member of the University of Chuffield's Extremophile Research Institute. Visited Nsburg to study nsberries. Would like you to mail him your poop. |
Edith Slump | Kathleen | QWRP's monotonous Arts Correspondent, local author, and self-described freelance gadabout. |
False Dmitri the IX, aka Kaylee | Kathleen | Day manager at the Weiner Czar. Went on a date with Derek. |
Fred | Ian | Founder of the Nsburg Primal Scream Therapy Men's Choir |
Graham ("Big G-Money") | Graham | Co-host of Qwerpline. |
Granton Bumper | Ian | Owner of Bumper Crop Farms and its ill-fated Corn Maze. Entered a large radish approximately 1 foot wide at the Harvest Festival competition. Grew the Bumper Crop Farm Corn Maze for Halloween, which led to the disappearances of 21 people. Later found religion and built a 20-foot "Jesus Cristo" out of corn husks, which was accidentally destroyed by Derek. |
Gus | N/A | QWRP Station Engineer & security(?) Mostly expresses his opinions via the sound board. |
Happy Gunderson | Ian | Owner of a "spite house" in the middle of Highway 3. Frequently harassed by the Pipesmen. |
Horatio Toot-Toot | N/A | Ran Captain Toot-Toot's Seafood Buffet and, briefly, the QWRP FM broadcast studio. Eventually made enough money to buy a boat and return to the sea whence he came. |
Jeff | N/A | QWRP Station Accountant. Referenced, but never appears. Has to deal with Derek charging random items to the station. |
Joan | N/A | QWRP Station Manager. Referenced, although never heard from. |
Joy | Kathleen | 7-year-old child accidentally semi-adopted by Richter. |
Justice Zeff | Graham | He's just happy to be in a room with this much love. |
Kelsie | N/A | Had coffee with Derek before his interview with Richard Therpston |
Kendra Tiltington | Kathleen | Director of Waste Management for Nsburg. She would really, really like it if people stopped dropping off non-recyclable things at the Nsburg Recycling Center. |
Kenneth Lancer | Ian | Political Scientist from Chuffield University |
Lance Glint | Ian | Student council president at Nsburg High. |
Lisa | N/A | Works at the Nsburg History Museum. Referenced, but never appears. |
Lorna Schlitzwhistle | Kathleen | A local "expert" on pseudoscience and the supernatural. She keeps bees at her home in West Sump Acres and is very concerned about the effects of the "weefees" (wifi internet). She sells dreamcatchers on Etsy. |
Melody Yum | N/A | Breakout star sideball player on the Literal Tigers. Was on fire last year, but she's out of the burn ward and ready to play. |
Michael O'Leary | Beej | QWRP's third Sports Reporter, now business reporter. After the Property Lottery, now lives in the station closet. |
Michael O'Leary (no relation) | Ian | Founder of a sanctuary from animals. |
Mirtho the Clown | N/A | A clown that promises to take you to smileville. |
Montgomery Kone | Beej | QWRP's fourth Sports Reporter. |
Muriel, the Old Wife | Kathleen | Lived in the QWRP FM studio and answered questions for Graham and Alex. Moved out when she got a 4-bedroom home in Raster Heights the 19-way swap Edith arranged after the Property Lottery. |
Officer Steve | Ian | Officer of the Nsburg PD. Investigated the disappearance and reappearance of the pot holes from Highway 3 to the Shaughnessy. Runs the Nsburg Crimestallers tip hotline. |
Orville & Wilbur Ronk | Beej & Ian | Brothers and inventors. Looking to build a solar-powered wind farm in Nsburg, but haven't yet secured the funding. |
Ralph | Ian | Secret Pipesman and member of the Nsburg Geological Society. Appears to be the spokesperson for the Pipesmen, or at least the most polite member. |
Raphael Crinklestouf | Beej | A local inventor and advocate for alternative fuels. He has used fermentation of human and other waste products to run an engine. |
Richard Therpston | Alex | Founder of Therpston County and Therpston County Aldersm'n. Deceased. |
Richard Therpston III | Alex | Pipesman and scion of the late Richard Therpston. Believes the rule of the county is his birthright. |
Richter Hammockslam | Ian | QWRP's helicopter Traffic "Reporter." |
Rosemary Saltsmith | Kathleen | Nsburg History Museum Curator. |
Sadie Casperson | Kathleen | QWRP's Meteorologist. Mostly forecasts divine vengeance. |
Sandra Brentmore | Kathleen | President of the Nsburg Historical Rum Tunnel Society. Has a chronic case of laryngitis and/or allergies. |
Steve | N/A | Writer for the Nsburg Sentinel. (Not to be confused with Officer Steve) |
Woman from the Old Country | Kathleen | A local merchant who moved from the Old Country (unspecified, but hers), who crafts jams, aspics, and (presumably) other foodstuffs, out of questionable ingredients. |