Final Fantasy Cocktease

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Stories on Saints Row, PS4 faceplates, TF2 booty shorts, and Final Fantasy–goddamn–7.

Vital Statistics

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Date: December 16, 2014

Written and Performed by: Graham Stark, Kathleen De Vere, Paul Saunders

Story Graphics: Paul Saunders

CheckPoint Graphics: Graham Stark

Music: Bradley Rains

Produced by: Graham Stark, Paul Saunders


It was the PlayStation Experience this past weekend, where we got to experience...this bullshit again.


  • Deep Silver bought Saints' Row and are now auctioning off the Professor Genki Mobile for charity.
  • Sony is selling custom PS4 faceplates.
  • A UK politician has been caught playing Candy Crush during a committee meeting.
  • Valve ran a TF2 costume design contest to promote a Tomb Raider game. The winner: the Heavy in booty shorts.
  • Sony is teasing a PS4 version of Final Fantasy VII. Again.

Coming Up

Sony has released a special limited-edition 20th anniversary PlayStation PS4, because Sony has been making PlayStations for twenty years. It's gray and has the original PlayStation logo, and more importantly, this artifact's presence will be a constant reminder that every new console generation brings you better graphics, and much, much closer to death.


  • Checkpoint has just come back from taking a month off for Desert Bus. Note to self: fix episode release dates.
  • Graham urges Desert Bus donors to NOT buy him the Professor Genki Mobile, because the cannon on top works and "Alex lives here."
  • The faceplate story required Graham to hand Kathleen their Viva Piñata-themed Xbox 360. Graham forgot about this until the last minute and then could not because it was plugged in. Kathleen takes the opportunity to work in an Ouya joke.
  • Kathleen forgot that she was supposed to be tweeting in the outro. But she did actually tweet a picture of Graham earlier in the episode.
◀ ●∙∙∙ Dennis Dyack Returns     Legal Blowout, Fellow STALKER ∙∙∙● ▶

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