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PLEASE SAVE THIS PAGE FOR DESERT BUS FIVE PARODIES ONLY

The Council of Desert Bus

by BrainStew and VyperX

Cast: Graham, Matt, Dale, James, Jer, Paul (possibly dressed as Ulric), Ashton
Props: Desert Bus jewel case (?), computer keyboard, Rosco

Graham: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to collect charity for the children. The bus stands upon the brink of departing. None can escape driving it. You will drive, untill you fall. Each runner is bound to this fate--this one challenge.
Bring forth the Bus, (Paul).

Matt: So it is time...

Dale (if available) : The Doom of Men

Matt: It is a gift. A gift to the friends of Penn and Teller. Why not use this Bus? (paces)
Long have we, the runners, used our talents for free. By our blood, sweat and tears, are the people entertained. Let us use this Bus to get donations; not for ourselves, but for the children!

Everyone: (mutters in agreement) Yeah - good idea

James: But how will we do that? There’s no way we can get people to donate if they can’t get in touch with us. How about we open up a chat, so people can talk to us, and issue challenges? (pondering) But who will moderate that?

Graham: Hmmmm. James is right, we cannot leave the chat unattended, while we’re “bussing aboot”.

Jer: We only have one option. The chat must be moderated.

Paul: Then what are we waiting for? I have just made a bot that can control the chat fine!
(Paul grabs a keyboard, approaches the camera, and types away.)
Paul: There. That should do it.
(Paul watches for a moment)
Paul: Aaargh! Don’t ban everyone! Don’t ban everyone!
(Paul quickly disables the bot and sighs with relief.)

Graham: The chat cannot be closed. As long as we bus, it cannot be closed down. The chat is the source of auctions. It cannot be unmade. We must ride the bus deep into Vegas, and drain all the money from the chat before it can be released.

Graham: One of you must mod it.

Matt: One does not simply mod such a chat. Its capacity will be tested by more than just trolls. There will be users there that do not sleep. And the great Octopimp is ever bidding. It is lightening fast. Riddled with questions and pigs and memes. The chat will breed these memes like rabbits. Not with ten thousand men could you mod it. It is folly!

Jer: (stands indignantly) Have you heard nothing Graham has said? The Chat must be kept in line!

Paul: (leaps to his feet) But you can’t do it, no way you can drive and mod such a place!

Matt: (rises) And if the mods fail, what then?! What happens when the chat falls in chaos and we can’t even see the challenges?

James: I will be dead before any of you make me take on such a crazy task!

Paul: Maybe Ashton could write a better bot for it? One slightly less omnipotent?

Ashton: Do you not understand how much work that would take? I have to make a whole website! And help with the set up!

Kroze: I will take it! I will take it! I will mod the Bus Chat. Though--I’m not quite one of you.

Matt: But Krodo-

Kroze: Kroze...

Matt: is just a little hobbit! How can he do such a job on his own?

Ashton: I will help you bear this burden, Krodo

Kroze: Actually, it’s Kroze-

Ashton (ignoring Kroze): as long as it is yours to bear (places his hands reassuringly on Kroze’s head) You have my code.

James: And my insomnia.

Jer: And my duck.

Graham: (rises) If by my hosting abilities I can assist you, I will.

Paul: You carry the fate of us all little one. Since my bot decided to permaban my own account, then I will see you as mod.

Dale: One new companion... So be it! We shall join together as the Fellowship of the Bus!

I Mod Alone

by BrainStew

Ashton:
I mod alone
for Desert Bus
there’s no mod here beside me
I mod alone
just like a drone
no mod to snuggle up beside me
why is there no mod here with me
on the long and sandy road
to help me to encode
if there were a sexy mod with me
how happy I would be
but I mod alone
my skills on loan
for the children I mod alone

I mod alone
(Kroze: he mods alone)
All by myself
(Kroze: except for me)
I can’t sleep til tomorrow
(Kroze: he can’t sleep with me)
I code alone
(Kroze: Though I am here)
No time to moan
(Kroze: so very near)
No one to share my coffee

Kroze: This year it seems quite clear to me
because I’m hobbit size
I can only fantasize
about playing chess beside
and hold my feelings inside

Ashton:
But I mod alone
(Kroze: he thinks he does)
Just like a drone
(Kroze: But I'm here love!)
for the children I mod alone

Knitghts: He mods alone
Ashton: I mod alone
Backup: for Desert Bus
Ashton: for Desert Bus
Backup: there is no mod here beside him,
He mods alone
Ashton: so all alone
Backup: apart from us,
no mod to snuggle up beside him

Ashton: each one of us mods alone
with Desert bus to do
but love can help us through
we must be mods side by side
no reason now to hide

Backup: They’re not alone
Ashton: No more a drone
Backup: Won’t mod alone
Ashton: Won’t code alone,
With Kroze with me
Won’t mod alone


Defying Sanity

by BrainStew and emuuwood
GLINDA
(spoken) LRR, why couldn't you've stayed here for one, instead of driving off to tuscon?
(sung) I hope you’re happy
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you’ve lost this week forever
I hope you think you're clever

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy too
I hope you're happy how you'd forget about the children
and all the great times there've been

BOTH
so though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now

GLINDA
LRR, listen to me, just forget Desertbus
You can still do it for the children
all the work you've done before
yes you can still Caramelldansen

ELPHABA
I know.
But I don't want it,
if I can't bus it, like before.

Tuscon it calls out to me
Las Vegas does the same
I'm through with learning all the rules
of all those other games
too late to clean that bug splat
say bye to all my sleep
its time to name the driver,
hit the road,
and beep.

It's time to try
Defying sanity
I think I'll try
Defying sanity
And I won’t stop bussing now

GLINDA
Can't I make you understand?
You're having delusions of grandeur:

ELPHABA
I'm through accepting limits
'Cuz someone says they're so
Say we can’t hit 300k
But till we try, We'll never know!
Too long we’ve been gathering
Crafts and games and awesome stuff
wow that auction
It went at much too high a cost!

They will all buy
Defying sanity
Kiss all the guys
I'm defying sanity
We won’t stop bussing now

(spoken) Internet - come with me. Think of what we could do: together.
(sung) Unlimited
Our gas tank is unlimited
Together we'll be the greatest bussers
There's ever been
Internet -
Donations, the way we planned em

GLINDA
Kroze will work in tandem

BOTH
There's no height we cannot bid
Get all the guys
Defying sanity
Both girls and guys
Defying sanity

ELPHABA
We won’t stop bussing now!
(spoken) Well? Are you coming?

GLINDA
I hope you're happy
Now that you're choosing this

ELPHABA
(spoken) You too
(sung) I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH
I really hope you get it
And you don't live to regret it
I hope you're happy in the end
I hope you're happy, my friend:

ELPHABA
So if you care to join us
Get on the Vegas line!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to drive!"
And if I'm bussing solo
Least I’m not bussing free
To those who'd crash me
Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am
Defying sanity
I’m sleep deprived
Defying sanity
Be the biggest marathon around

And nobody on all the net
Nor Moon nor Earth nor any state
Is ever gonna slow me down!

GLINDA
I hope you're happy!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Look at LRR, they’re bussing!
Donate!

ELPHABA
Slow me down!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Those guys sure are bussing
Donate, don’t slow them

ELPHABA
Ahhh!

CITIZENS OF OZ
Down!

Desert Bus (Safety Dance)

by TsukiakariUsagi

D-d-d-d E-e-e-e S-s-s-s E-e-e-e R-r-r-r T-t-t-t
Desert, Bus!

[Spoken]
We can bus if we want to
We can leave your mods behind
'Cause your mods don't bus and if they don't bus
Well they're no mods of mine
I say, we can bus where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this chat
Leave the other one far behind
And we can bus

[Sung]
We can bus if we want to
We can leave your mods behind
'Cause your mods don't bus and if they don't bus
Well they're no mods of mine
I say, we can bus where we want to
A place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this chat
Leave the other one far behind
And we can bus
Bus!

We can bus when we want to
Rosco won’t sleep, nor will I
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise 'em with a Runners cry!
Say, we can bus if we want to
Though the drive is not a thrill
And you can be real rude and we’ll ban-hammer you
Or if you bid like an Imbecile

[Refrain]
I say, we can bus, we can bus
Our driving’s out of control
We can bus, we can bus
We’re doin’ it from goal to goal
We can bus, we can bus
Everybody’s causin’ a fuss
We can bus, we can bus
Everybody’s watchin’ u-u-u-us!

Desert bus
Oh well the Desert Bus?
Ah yes the Desert Bus?

D-d-d-d E-e-e-e S-s-s-s E-e-e-e R-r-r-r T-t-t-t
Desert, Bus!

We can bus if we want to
Donate all your money and mine
As long as we will watch it, they will never stop it
And it’ll go on all night
I say, we can bus if we want to
We can leave your mods behind
'Cause your mods don't bus and if they don't bus
Well they're no mods of mine

[Refrain]
I say, we can bus, we can bus
Our driving’s out of control
We can bus, we can bus
We’re doin’ it from goal to goal
We can bus, we can bus
Everybody’s causin’ a fuss
We can bus, we can bus
Everybody’s watchin’ u-u-u-us!

Well it’s Desert Bus
Yes it’s Desert Bus
Well it’s Desert Bus
Desert Bus
Yes it’s Desert Bus
Desert Bus
Well it’s Desert Bus
It’s Desert Bus
Well it’s Desert Bus
Well it’s Desert Bus
It’s Desert Bus
Lets all ride the Bus

My Little Krozy

by The Amativeness
To the tune of My Little Pony intro

My Little Krozy, Ahh ahh ahh ahhh…
(My Little Krozy)
I used to wonder what LRRing could be
(My Little Krozy)
Until you all watched the Bus Cam with me
Big donations
Splat of bug
A beautiful crash
The drive is long
Alex Derping,
It's a 6-day feat
And children makes it all complete
My little Krozy
Do you know you're all my very best friends?

Popular (from the musical Wicked)

by VyperX KROZE (spoken) Ashton - now that we're mods, I've decided to make you my new project.

ASHTON (spoken) You really don't have to do that

KROZE (spoken) I know. That's what makes me so nice!

KROZE (sung)
Whenever I see a mod less powerful than I
And let's face it - who isn't less powerful than I?
My ban hammer tends to start to iiiiiitch
And with your stony composure
I simply have to take over
I know
I know
Exactly what you need

So I'll take on your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed

You
will
be
Popular
You're gonna be popular!
I'll teach you to stretch your limbs
B'fore you talk to pimps
Little ways to flirt and flounce (Ooh!)
I'll show you what dice to roll
When you ban that troll
Everything that really counts

To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
You'll hang with the EL AR AR
You'll drive that bus so far
Know the memes you've got to know
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to gooooo

Don't be offended by my frank awesomeness
It just comes natur'ly with the dress
Now that I've chosen to be come a pal, a Maaas-
ter and your kaiser
There's nobody wiser
Not when it comes to popular -
I know about popular
And with an O-P from me
To be who you'll beeee
Instead of dreary who-you-were, well, are

There's nothing that can stop you
From becoming popu- Ler... lar!

La laaaaaaaaa
laaa laaaaa
We're gonna make you
po-pu-lar
When I see the rising prices
Of the off'red auction items
I remind bidders on their own behalf
To think of
Penn and Teller, Notch and Yahtzee,
or 'specially great improvisators
Did they have crafts or hammers?
Don't make me laugh!
He,he!
They were popular! Please -
It's all about popular!
It's not about body weight
It's how much you do-nate
So it's very shrewd to be
Very very popular
Like me!

(spoken) Why, Mr Ashton, look at you. You're beautiful.

ASHTON(spoken) I - I have to go!

KROZE (spoken) You're welcome!?
(sung) And though you repress
Your (love) interest
I know clandeeeestiiin'ly
You wanna win and take it
Your new found popularity

  • squeel *

La laaaaaa
laaaa laaaa
You'll be popular -
Just not
quite as popular
As meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!


If we had a million dollars

by Tyranic-Moron, VyperX, Zaepho, Emuwood, Peity and BrainStew

If we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
We'd play desert bus
(We’d play desert bus)
If we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
We'd buy you gifts for all the children
(Maybe a nice Chess Set or a PS3)
And if we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we'd build you a chat
(A nice well moderated IRC)
If we had a million dollars we'd buy your love


If we had a million dollars
We'd drive that bus to Las Vegas
If we had million dollars
We would turn around and drive it again
If we had million dollars
(Spoken)Maybe we could like do random challenges and stuff
You know, we could sing lots of parodies
Like showtunes and stuff
The chat could pick songs out for us,
Like cartoon theme songs and things


They keep writing slash fic and all these ridiculous pairings
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, no


If we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we'd buy you a Taun-taun
(But not a real Taun-taun that's cruel)
And if we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we’d get you an amazing bid
(Yep, like from Octopimp or WarHamster)
And if we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we'd buy you Gary Gygax's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy reincarnated bones)
And if we had a million dollars we'd buy your love


If we had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to sleep anymore
If we had a million dollars
No, we would just have to drive the bus more!
If we had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to do it next year
But we would do it next year
Of course we would, we’d just do it better
And have really awesome crafts to auction
That’s right, all the fanciest… handmade crafts!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm


If we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we'd buy you a Tetris dress
(But not a real Tetris dress, that's cruel)
And if we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we'd buy you some art
(A Ken Steacy or a Mike Lunsford)
If we had a million dollars
(If we had a million dollars)
Well, we'd bring in a brony
(Haven't you always wanted a brony)


If we had a million dollars
We’d buy your love


If we had a million dollars, If we had a million dollars
If we had a million dollars, If we had a million dollars
If we had a million dollars
We’d be doomed

Operation Pony Bus for Hope

by TheDaniel

My Little Desert Bus: Charity is Magic http://pastebin.com/FCFE35xA

Nostalgia at the Nighttime http://pastebin.com/6tK6Jai3

A song for Kroze http://pastebin.com/Mnf3MvUP

With the LRR Crew http://pastebin.com/KPEVRDAn

Singing Livestream Intro http://pastebin.com/Hj7atJVg

The Game that your Game could Play Like

by TheDaniel

Hello chat... Look at your game, now look at mine, now back at your game, now back to mine! Sadly, it isn't like mine, but if it stopped trying to appeal to casuals and required real effort then it could be. Look down, back up, where are you? You're in a room, with the Game that Your Game Could Play Like. Whats in your hand? Back to me, I have it it. It's a Sega Genesis controller with a worn out A button. Look again- the left button is now depressed! Anything can be as hardcore as Desert Bus if you require 8 hours of continuous play, I hit a mosquito.

'Nevada' by Roco

by TheDaniel

To the song 'Africa' by Toto

I hear the ducks echo across the plains
Mythbusters says its possible, so who are you to disagree
We're in Day 2 of Desert Bus
Taking challenges of the most shameful kind for the livestream

We've gotten calls all through the days
From a bunch of internet celebrities and other people
All offering their best support
Of charity items for auctioning off live

Gonna take a lot to get me away from here
No amount of money will get us out of Top Gear
I help the drivers of Desert Bus
They're gonna keep driving for as long as they caaa-aa-an

The bus drives on through the night
Even as most of the crew head off to get some sleep
It quiets down even as the chat goes wild
Not even the promise of an achievment will stop their posting spree

We've just broken last years take
And yet it seems we've only just begun

Gonna take a lot to get me away from here
No amount of money will get us out of Top Gear
I help the drivers of Desert Bus
They're gonna keep driving for as long as they caaa-aa-an

Lookout Matt, don't break it all again

Gonna take a lot to get me away from here
No amount of money will get us out of Top Gear
I help the drivers of Desert Bus
I help the drivers of Desert Bus
Stuck with the drivers of Desert Bus
They're gonna keep driving for as long as they caaa-aa-an

Un-named Want You Gone parody

by Yadda

Well here we are again,
It's always such a pleasure,
Remember when we tried to drive a bus?
Oh how we drove and drove,
Except you weren't driving,
Really all things considered, we've done some crazy [BUS].

Money for the kids, give it,
That's what we're counting on,
We thought this would go nowhere,
Now we're going for a week.

Year one was not so strong,
(We raised not quite as much cash),
Now we've got 450k in four years
One day we had a thought,
Why don't we raise some money,
Before we knew it we'd been doing this for five years.

You've got not much money left,
You've sent it all to us,
Please send what's left to us now,
Or you're stealing from children.

Goodbye my credit score,
I have some auctions to win
I want to be known like that octopimp.
Now you have been outbid,
I don't have any cash left,
I don't regret it because I have a sweetened pig.

Donate all of your money,
That's what we're counting on,
Your bank account is empty,
But you gave to charity,
But you gave to charity,
But you gave to charity.


Livestream Wrap Up

by TheDaniel

To the tune of Winter Wrap Up, to close out Year #5-

[LRR #5]
6 days of long bus driving
on an internet live stream
[LRR #6]
We put our dignity on the line
As Childs Play picked up steam
[LRR #3]
But even with our best efforts
The donations will run dry
[LRR #4]
And as much as we love the chat
It's time to say goodbye

[LRR #1]
The time has come to park the bus
at the Tuscon busport
As we shut off the Megadrive
And finish our report
Of just how well twenty-eleven
Did compared to last year
Did we reach a new milestone
What opinions can we hear

[Multiple]
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
Soon our stream will disappear
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!

[LRR #5]
Started with too many Dans
A Donation drive to force
Both Matt and James to sit and watch
The new Twilight, of course
Clubs appeared everywhere
Justin banned the whole world
Then Matt broke the stream
Just like in Desert Bus 4

[Multiple]
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
Soon our stream will disappear
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!

[LRR #4]
Takahata graced our bus
With awesome Nappa lines
[LRR #2]
Helped us live auction so hard
Bidbot went and died
[LRR #4]
The chat went into overload
From too much pony
[LRR #2 + #4]
We sang too many of those damn songs
Including 'My Little Kroze-y'

[Multiple]
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
Soon our stream will disappear
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
Soon our stream will disappear
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!

[LRR #3]
Monkeywrench and roboduck
Fight crime with both the Steves
Taking on Titus the Fox
With their lazor beams
Too much pizza, bus cake club
Derpline with bad advice
And then at around 10-ish
Ken sold at a high price

[Multiple]
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
Soon our stream will disappear
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!

[LRR #1]
Now we're coming to the end
Desert Bus Number 5
We all gave our very best
For the childrens we did drive
Thanks to all these donations
Our total hours did climb
We'll have to work twice as hard
Drive longer next time
Drive longer next time

[Multiple]
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
Soon our stream will disappear
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
Livestream Wrap Up! Livestream Wrap Up!
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!

[LRR #1]
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!
But we'll be back next year!