Difference between revisions of "Escapist News Network"

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[[Image:ENNlogo.png|650px|thumb|right|The logo of the Escapist New Network]]
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{{ShowInfobox
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|ShowName=Escapist News Network
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|Logo=ENN-infobox.jpg
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|Format=Satirical Gaming News
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|Creators=Graham Stark, Kathleen De Vere, Jeremy Petter, Paul Saunders
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|Status=Discontinued
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|Updates=Wednesdays
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|Host=The Escapist
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|OriginalRun=September 23, 2009  - February 13, 2011
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|AssociatedShows= [[CheckPoint]] (successor), [[Feed Dump]] (successor)
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|
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}}
  
 
The '''Escapist News Network''' (commonly abbreviated as '''ENN'''), is a show on [[The Escapist]] created by a few members of the Loading Ready Run Crew. It is in the style of a news broadcast (á la CNN) reporting on both truthful and fictional stories. The show is heavily influenced by the Canadian comedy series ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Hour_Has_22_Minutes This Hour Has 22 Minutes]''.  
 
The '''Escapist News Network''' (commonly abbreviated as '''ENN'''), is a show on [[The Escapist]] created by a few members of the Loading Ready Run Crew. It is in the style of a news broadcast (á la CNN) reporting on both truthful and fictional stories. The show is heavily influenced by the Canadian comedy series ''[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Hour_Has_22_Minutes This Hour Has 22 Minutes]''.  
  
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As of February 13, 2011 ENN was discontinued and was eventually replaced by two successor series, the first being [[CheckPoint]], which premiered on [[PATV]] on May 9, 2011. At this time the second series is yet to be announced.
+
As of February 13, 2011 ENN was discontinued and was eventually replaced by two successor series, the first being [[CheckPoint]], which premiered on [[PATV]] on May 9, 2011, and the second being [[Feed Dump]], which premiered on The Escapist on May 25, 2011.
 
===Format===
 
===Format===
 
In general, the show follows a fixed format in every episode.  
 
In general, the show follows a fixed format in every episode.  
 
*First, the intro plays; this consists of theme music and an animation which mockingly mimic those of major news networks. Several words appear during the animation: Reliable, Trustworthy, Resplendent, Logarithmic, and one additional word. This is known as the ''accent word'', and changes every week. See the [http://tinyurl.com/ennacc List of ENN Accent Words].
 
*First, the intro plays; this consists of theme music and an animation which mockingly mimic those of major news networks. Several words appear during the animation: Reliable, Trustworthy, Resplendent, Logarithmic, and one additional word. This is known as the ''accent word'', and changes every week. See the [http://tinyurl.com/ennacc List of ENN Accent Words].
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*After the intro, the camera cuts to the anchor desk, with dimmed lights, as [[Graham]] and [[Kathleen]] set up a joke in casual conversation. This is the first part of the so-called ''after-lights gag''. The lights then turn on, and the anchors face the camera and introduce themselves. The lower third displays their ''job description'' gag, which also changes every week.
+
*After the intro, the camera cuts to the anchor desk, with dimmed lights, as [[Graham Stark|Graham]] and [[Kathleen De Vere|Kathleen]] set up a joke in casual conversation. This is the first part of the so-called ''after-lights gag''. The lights then turn on, and the anchors face the camera and introduce themselves. The lower third displays their ''job description'' gag, which also changes every week.
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*Approximately the first half of the show consists of between four and seven news stories, reported alternately be Graham and Kathleen. '''The first sentence or part is almost always true; this is followed by 'merciless joking' for the rest of the story'''. In addition, each story features a corner image (usually created by [[Jer]]) and one or more lower third jokes, and may include an extra video segment.
+
*Approximately the first half of the show consists of between four and seven news stories, reported alternately be Graham and Kathleen. '''The first sentence or part is almost always true; this is followed by 'merciless joking' for the rest of the story'''. In addition, each story features a corner image (usually created by [[Jeremy Petter|Jer]]) and one or more lower third jokes, and may include an extra video segment.
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*Most of the rest of the video is taken up by the ''Feature Story''. Whichever anchor's turn it is will introduce the story, then pass it to a field reporter (usually [[Jer]]) or pre-recorded video segment. '''Feature Stories are always at least mostly false''', and usually completely so, even if they are loosely based in fact.
+
*Most of the rest of the video is taken up by the ''Feature Story''. Whichever anchor's turn it is will introduce the story, then pass it to a field reporter (usually Jer) or pre-recorded video segment. '''Feature Stories are always at least mostly false''', and usually completely so, even if they are loosely based in fact.
 
*Finally, the anchors will end the episode with their parting line or lines. While the credits roll, the studio lights dim, and the ''after-lights gag'' is concluded as Graham and Kathleen finish their conversation from where it was left off.
 
*Finally, the anchors will end the episode with their parting line or lines. While the credits roll, the studio lights dim, and the ''after-lights gag'' is concluded as Graham and Kathleen finish their conversation from where it was left off.
 
===List of Episodes===
 
===List of Episodes===
−
* [[The Newsroom: Dead Dragon Distance]]  
+
{|class=toc style="float:right; margin-left:10px;"
−
* [[Inside the Newsroom]]
+
!Contents
−
* [[Predictions]]
+
|-
−
* [[ENN Awards 2010]]
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|[[#Top|Format]]
−
* [[Not Games But Movies]]
+
|-
−
* [[Stresstris]]
+
|'''List of Episodes'''
−
* [[Rejeweled]]
+
|-
−
* [[Nintendonts]]
+
|[[#Notes|Notes]]
−
* [[More Room to Grow]]
+
|-
−
* [[The EA Louse & Friends]]
+
|[[#See Also|See Also]]
−
* [[Room to Grow]]
+
|-
−
* [[Sony's Crazy Marketing]]
+
|[[#External Links|External Links]]
−
* [[Kathleen's Book Club]]
+
|}
−
* [[West Washing]]
+
{| class="wikitable" style="width:75%; text-align:center;"
−
* [[XBox Platinum]]
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|- style="background-color:#aaaaaa; color:white;"
−
* [[Got to Catch Them All]]
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|style="width:5%;" | # || style="width:30%;" | Title || style="width:10%;" | Accent Word || style="width:15%;" | Job Description || style="width:15%;" | Date
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* [[Booby Prize]]
+
 
−
* [[Still Gaming]]
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|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Work Your Assets]]
+
|67 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[The Newsroom: Dead Dragon Distance]] || N/A || N/A || February 2, 2012
−
* [[Blizzard Warning]]
+
|-
−
* [[Global Warning]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Your mom may hate Dead Space 2, but maybe she'll like this! Or not.
−
* [[Kinect the Dots]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[All in the Cards]]
+
|66 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Inside the Newsroom]] || N/A || N/A || January 19, 2011
−
* [[Minced Words: Blizzard's Real ID]]
+
|-
−
* [[GearGasm 5: The Perspectiving]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Kathleen, Graham, Paul and Jeremy take you behind the magic. It's less magical.
−
* [[Snobcon 2010]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[E3 2010 Recap]]
+
|65 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Predictions]] || Sundry || Resolute Anchors || January 5, 2011
−
* [[E3 News Bytes: June 18]]
+
|-
−
* [[E3 News Bytes: June 17 2010]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Ryan Quickbender places his bets, Graham and Kathleen talk Madden.
−
* [[E3 News Bytes: June 16]]
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|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[ENN E3 Newsbytes: June 15]]
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|64 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[ENN Awards 2010]] || Jolly || Anchs, Yo || December 22, 2010
−
* [[Resident Evil Romance]]
+
|-
−
* [[Skate and Die!]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Some games didn't suck this year. I know, right?
−
* [[Who the Hell Are You]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Atari's Gambit]]
+
|63 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Not Games But Movies]] || Got Pig? || Team Neat || December 8, 2010
−
* [[Speaking Without Words]]
+
|-
−
* [[Quickbender Must Die]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Movie-based game or game-based movie. Either way, we lose.
−
* [[Splinter Cell: Cunvicshun]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Viral Outbreak]]
+
|62 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Stresstris]] || Bi-Weekly || Returning Champions || November 24, 2010
−
* [[Peace Walker Promo]]
+
|-
−
* [[Money Shot]]
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|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Scientists are using Tetris to perform science.
−
* [[Special Edition]]
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|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Games for Pets]]
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|61 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Rejeweled]] || Harmless || Weekend Warriors || November 10, 2010
−
* [[The Future of Storage Media]]
+
|-
−
* [[Dishonorable Discharge]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Iterating Bejeweled isn't as bad as releasing Dragon's Lair again.
−
* [[Quick's Picks]]
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|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[RPG Elements]]
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|60 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Nintendonts]] || Akurate || Also With 60% Less Hendersons || November 3, 2010
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* [[EA's Corporate Vision On Track]]
+
|-
−
* [[Black & Blue Streak]]
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|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Whether it's Mario's anniversary, or their own losses, Nintendo seem out of touch with reality.
−
* [[Natal Scandal]]
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|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[iPhonomenon]]
+
|59 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[More Room to Grow]] || Serrated || Demon Hunters (and Interviewers) || October 27, 2010
−
* [[On Punctuation]]
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|-
−
* [[A Few Good Gamers]]
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|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Paul delves deeper into Kinect's space needs and Graham goes off about Minecraft.
−
* [[The Future of Sex]]
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|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Year in Review 2009]]
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|58 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[The EA Louse & Friends]] || Huggable || Wasteland Correspondents || October 20, 2010
−
* [[Counter-Active Gaming]]
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|-
−
* [[Guild Chat]]
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|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |If EA would not keep on hiring anonymous bloggers they wouldn't have these problems.
−
* [[Pictodicks]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Sorcerers Demand Equal Rites]]
+
|57 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Room to Grow]] || Alive || Subspace Anchors || October 13, 2010
−
* [[Economic Weather Report]]
+
|-
−
* [[New Dante's Inferno Marketing Tactic]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Paul investigates the space requirements of Kinect.
−
* [[ROJO]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Uber HD]]
+
|56 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Sony's Crazy Marketing]] || Lithe || Rare News Mobs || October 6, 2010
−
* [[I C U Wii]]
+
|-
−
* [[Lost Leaders]]
+
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Paul and Jeremy get to the bright red bottom of Sony's crazy marketing decisions.
−
* [[The Next Rock Band]]
+
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
−
* [[Nerd Flu]]
+
|55 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Kathleen's Book Club]] || Finite || Not Boats Abandoned In Some Backyard (followed by "Too Obscure?") || September 29, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Kathleen presents the complete nutjobs of gaming, and looks at a hot new game book.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|54 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[West Washing]] || Lobsterly || Rhyme With Bankers || September 22, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |When Eastern developers make their games appeal to "The West", everyone loses.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|53 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[XBox Platinum]] || Matronly || Double-Toy Pickup || September 15, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Finally you can play in peace. Or not. Your choice.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|52 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Got to Catch Them All]] || Pneumatic || Ignoble Team || September 8, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Jeremy interviews a holy order for all things "totally sweet".
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|51 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Booby Prize]] || Five-Star || Newsblasters || September 1, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Graham weighs in on Medal of Honor and Jeremy investigates breasts. Inbreastigates?
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|50 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Still Gaming]] || Phlegm || News Raiders || August 25, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Before your next LAN or all-night raid, you'd better be prepared.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|49 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Work Your Assets]] || Soggy || Rapportuers || August 18, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Graham talks Pokemon and Ryan Quickbender has a lesson for the ladies.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|48 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Blizzard Warning]] || Enriched || Fortified For +50% || August 11, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ENN delves into the darkness behind everyone's favorite studio.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|47 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Global Warning]] || Adequate || Consumate Professionals || August 4, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |High pressure is causing problems in the development environment.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|46 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Kinect the Dots]] || Paragon || Would You Like To Know More? || July 28, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Graham gives The Governator a headshot and Paul shows how Microsoft and Sony are lying.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|45 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[All in the Cards]] || Ursine || Presentational Zoologists || July 21, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ComicCon gets picketed, GameStop whines and a gaming entrepreneur shows us his new take on a card game... "classic".
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|44 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Minced Words: Blizzard's Real ID]] || Tubular || Dimensional Anchors || July 14, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |If we lose online anonymity, untold hate speech may be lost.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|43 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[GearGasm 5: The Perspectiving]] || Wobbley || Agency... Agents? || July 7, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |See it - with your eyeballs.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|42 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Snobcon 2010]] || Lifelike || News Mistress || June 30, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A special report on a convention you've never heard of, square.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|41 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[E3 2010 Recap]] || Gyroscopic || Epic Knitters || June 23, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Paul and his panel of experts gives us the lowdown on the ups and downs of E3 2010.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|40 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[E3 News Bytes - 6/18/2010]] || N/A || E3-Onauts || June 18, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|39 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[E3 News Bytes - 6/17/2010]] || N/A || Def Jam Rapstars || June 17, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|38 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[E3 News Bytes - 6/16/2010]] || N/A || VPs of Kevin Butler || June 16, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|37 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[E3 News Bytes - 6/15/2010]] || N/A || Kinectimals || June 15, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|36 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Resident Evil Romance]] || Pointy || Omega Protocols || June 9, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |This week, ENN attempts to get to the bottom of the apparent success of videogame novelizations.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|35 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Skate and Die!]] || Ephemeral || Totally Persians || June 2, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |An author of great conviction warns parents of the danger inherent in skateboarding games.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|34 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Who the Hell are You?]] || ALL CAPS || Urine Technicians || May 26, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A look behind the scenes of a game translation service.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|33 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Atari's Gambit]] || Tactile || Splinter Cells || May 19, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Atari takes us back, to the future of gaming.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|32 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Speaking Without Words]] || Copious || Still Coffee-less || May 12, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A special report on the voice actors of N64 games.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|31 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Quickbender Must Die]] || Kitch || Toadstools || May 5, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The ENN office receives a mystery package.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|30 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Splinter Cell: Cunvicshun]] || Drywall || Rebels With Cause || April 28, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The team covers all the controversy and confusion surrounding Splinter Cell: Conviction.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|29 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Viral Outbreak]] || Meow? || Demon Hunters || April 21, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A viral game is killing the social life of millions. Are you at risk?
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|28 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Peace Walker Promo]] || Backspin || Synergists || April 14, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Sonic fanboys reach a crisis point.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|27 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Money Shot]] || Meringue || S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S. || April 7, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |This week, a special edition of GearGasm, and the Nintendo 3DS stomps on minorities.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|26 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Special Edition]] || Thromboid || (It's A Sinus Infection Now) || March 31, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Games with special editions harbor a dark secret.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|25 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Games for Pets]] || Sniffly || (Yes, Graham Has A Cold) || March 24, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Surprising new developments are being made in the field of gaming for our furred friends.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|24 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[The Future of Storage Media]] || Funsize || Pulse L'Cie || March 17, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A very interesting installment of GearGasm introduces a 300GB optical disc.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|23 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Dishonorable Discharge]] || Cromulent || Kickin' It Old School || March 10, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A hard-hitting report on the recent layoffs at Infinity Ward.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|22 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Quick's Picks]] || Bunnies! || Quick-Time Events || March 3, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Quick's Picks responds to a viewer email about a misunderstanding with Dante's Inferno.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|21 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[RPG Elements]] || Alpine || Renegade Paragons || February 24, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |ENN investigates the disappearance of RPG elements from gaming.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|20 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[EA's Corporate Vision On Track]] || Submerged || Olympic Slackers || February 17, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Good news, EA continues to lose money, but at a slower rate.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|19 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Black & Blue Streak]] || Triglycerides || Citizens of Rapture || February 10, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The latest Sonic game puts up warning flags for concerned citizens.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|18 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Natal Scandal]] || Low-sodium || Rocketeers || February 3, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Project Natal's Milo gets a little too real.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|17 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[IPhonomenon|iPhonomenon]] || Haptic || Assassins (Shhh!) || January 27, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The iPhone becomes the next big thing in portable gaming.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|16 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[On Punctuation]] || Anodized || Umbra Witches || January 20, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Yahtzee gives us the spill on his new book, as Final Fantasy XIII tours America.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|15 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[A Few Good Gamers]] || Rampant || Resistance Fighters || January 13, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |LG brings motion control to television, and America's Army becomes the front line of video game recruitment technology.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|14 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[The Future of Sex]] || Spreadable || Blood Mages || January 6, 2010
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Square-Enix announces a revolutionary new battle system, and and unrepresented market for sex in games finally comes to light.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|13 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Year in Review 2009]] || Frothy || Reindeer enthusiasts || December 16, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Sony reveals a new motion controller, and a panel of experts debate the top game of the year.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|12 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Counter-Active Gaming]] || Soluble || Double Agents || December 9, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A new fitness game for the Wii stirs controversy, and Pandemic announces free nude DLC for Saboteur.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|11 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Guild Chat]] || Indeed || Kung Fu Fighters || December 2, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Graham interviews members of The Guild.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|10 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Pictodicks]] || Octopimp || Vampire Hunters || November 25, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |A special investigative report about an inappropriate game you never knew about.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|9 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Sorcerers Demand Equal Rites]] || Tepid || Tag Team Champions || November 18, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Global Agenda's "No Elves" campaign causes quite a stir in the elven community.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|8 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Economic Weather Report]] || Corrosive || Vault Dwellers || November 11, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |Jimmy Buffet announces a Margaritaville game, as the economic climate shifts into the red.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|7 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[New Dante's Inferno Marketing Tactic]] || Turgid || Genome Soldiers || November 4, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |EA's marketing campaign for Dante's Inferno reaches a new level.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|6 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[ROJO]] || Bipedal || Let me show you ma Anchormans || October 28, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |EA's marketing campaign for Dante's Inferno reaches a new level.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|5 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Uber HD]] || Sideways || Talkypeople || October 21, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |This week, Brütal Legend, Bubble Bobble Boy and a special report on the future of HD technology.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|4 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[I C U Wii]] || Pre-post-modern || Anchors Aweigh || October 14, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |This week, Brütal Legend, Bubble Bobble Boy and a special report on the future of HD technology.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|3 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Lost Leaders]] || Vestigial || Anchors Aweigh || October 7, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch." This week, the console war reaches a new low.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|2 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[The Next Rock Band]] || Bootylicious || Anchorpeoples || September 30, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch," covering everything from Chinese WoW service to an upcoming Rock Band title.
 +
|- style="background-color:#eeeeee;"
 +
|1 ||style="text-align:left;"|[[Nerd Flu]] || Toasty || Anchormans || September 23, 2009
 +
|-
 +
|colspan="5" style="text-align:left; border-bottom:3px solid #aaaaaa;" |The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch," with exclusive coverage of a horrible pandemic - nerd flu.
 +
|-
 +
|}
  
 
===Notes===
 
===Notes===
 +
{|class=toc style="float:right; margin-left:10px;"
 +
!Contents
 +
|-
 +
|[[#Top|Format]]
 +
|-
 +
|[[#List of Episodes|List of Episodes]]
 +
|-
 +
|'''Notes'''
 +
|-
 +
|'''See Also'''
 +
|-
 +
|'''External Links'''
 +
|}
 
* Unlike [[Unskippable]], ENN did not originate from the Escapist Film Festival.
 
* Unlike [[Unskippable]], ENN did not originate from the Escapist Film Festival.
 
* The ENN crew occasionally post [http://loadingreadyrun.com/blog/?tag=rejected rejected ENN stories] on the blog. These are stories which didn't get in to the week's episode because they were extra, (usually) not due to low quality. This is now a feature on the Escapist Publisher's Club.
 
* The ENN crew occasionally post [http://loadingreadyrun.com/blog/?tag=rejected rejected ENN stories] on the blog. These are stories which didn't get in to the week's episode because they were extra, (usually) not due to low quality. This is now a feature on the Escapist Publisher's Club.
Line 87: Line 331:
 
* [[Recurring ENN Characters]]
 
* [[Recurring ENN Characters]]
 
* [[Action 9]], LRR's other fictitious news agency
 
* [[Action 9]], LRR's other fictitious news agency
 +
* [[CheckPoint]], the spiritual successor to ENN
  
 
===External Links===
 
===External Links===
Line 95: Line 340:
 
[[Category:Videos]]
 
[[Category:Videos]]
 
[[Category:ENN]]
 
[[Category:ENN]]
−
[[Category:Non-LRR]]
 

Revision as of 20:54, 26 July 2013

ENN-infobox.jpg
Escapist News Network logo
Format: Satirical Gaming News
Created By: Graham Stark, Kathleen De Vere, Jeremy Petter, Paul Saunders
Status: Discontinued
Updates: Wednesdays
Host: The Escapist
Original Run: September 23, 2009 - February 13, 2011
Associated Shows: CheckPoint (successor), Feed Dump (successor)

The Escapist News Network (commonly abbreviated as ENN), is a show on The Escapist created by a few members of the Loading Ready Run Crew. It is in the style of a news broadcast (á la CNN) reporting on both truthful and fictional stories. The show is heavily influenced by the Canadian comedy series This Hour Has 22 Minutes.

As of February 13, 2011 ENN was discontinued and was eventually replaced by two successor series, the first being CheckPoint, which premiered on PATV on May 9, 2011, and the second being Feed Dump, which premiered on The Escapist on May 25, 2011.

Format

In general, the show follows a fixed format in every episode.

  • First, the intro plays; this consists of theme music and an animation which mockingly mimic those of major news networks. Several words appear during the animation: Reliable, Trustworthy, Resplendent, Logarithmic, and one additional word. This is known as the accent word, and changes every week. See the List of ENN Accent Words.
  • After the intro, the camera cuts to the anchor desk, with dimmed lights, as Graham and Kathleen set up a joke in casual conversation. This is the first part of the so-called after-lights gag. The lights then turn on, and the anchors face the camera and introduce themselves. The lower third displays their job description gag, which also changes every week.
  • Approximately the first half of the show consists of between four and seven news stories, reported alternately be Graham and Kathleen. The first sentence or part is almost always true; this is followed by 'merciless joking' for the rest of the story. In addition, each story features a corner image (usually created by Jer) and one or more lower third jokes, and may include an extra video segment.
  • Most of the rest of the video is taken up by the Feature Story. Whichever anchor's turn it is will introduce the story, then pass it to a field reporter (usually Jer) or pre-recorded video segment. Feature Stories are always at least mostly false, and usually completely so, even if they are loosely based in fact.
  • Finally, the anchors will end the episode with their parting line or lines. While the credits roll, the studio lights dim, and the after-lights gag is concluded as Graham and Kathleen finish their conversation from where it was left off.

List of Episodes

Contents
Format
List of Episodes
Notes
See Also
External Links
# Title Accent Word Job Description Date
67 The Newsroom: Dead Dragon Distance N/A N/A February 2, 2012
Your mom may hate Dead Space 2, but maybe she'll like this! Or not.
66 Inside the Newsroom N/A N/A January 19, 2011
Kathleen, Graham, Paul and Jeremy take you behind the magic. It's less magical.
65 Predictions Sundry Resolute Anchors January 5, 2011
Ryan Quickbender places his bets, Graham and Kathleen talk Madden.
64 ENN Awards 2010 Jolly Anchs, Yo December 22, 2010
Some games didn't suck this year. I know, right?
63 Not Games But Movies Got Pig? Team Neat December 8, 2010
Movie-based game or game-based movie. Either way, we lose.
62 Stresstris Bi-Weekly Returning Champions November 24, 2010
Scientists are using Tetris to perform science.
61 Rejeweled Harmless Weekend Warriors November 10, 2010
Iterating Bejeweled isn't as bad as releasing Dragon's Lair again.
60 Nintendonts Akurate Also With 60% Less Hendersons November 3, 2010
Whether it's Mario's anniversary, or their own losses, Nintendo seem out of touch with reality.
59 More Room to Grow Serrated Demon Hunters (and Interviewers) October 27, 2010
Paul delves deeper into Kinect's space needs and Graham goes off about Minecraft.
58 The EA Louse & Friends Huggable Wasteland Correspondents October 20, 2010
If EA would not keep on hiring anonymous bloggers they wouldn't have these problems.
57 Room to Grow Alive Subspace Anchors October 13, 2010
Paul investigates the space requirements of Kinect.
56 Sony's Crazy Marketing Lithe Rare News Mobs October 6, 2010
Paul and Jeremy get to the bright red bottom of Sony's crazy marketing decisions.
55 Kathleen's Book Club Finite Not Boats Abandoned In Some Backyard (followed by "Too Obscure?") September 29, 2010
Kathleen presents the complete nutjobs of gaming, and looks at a hot new game book.
54 West Washing Lobsterly Rhyme With Bankers September 22, 2010
When Eastern developers make their games appeal to "The West", everyone loses.
53 XBox Platinum Matronly Double-Toy Pickup September 15, 2010
Finally you can play in peace. Or not. Your choice.
52 Got to Catch Them All Pneumatic Ignoble Team September 8, 2010
Jeremy interviews a holy order for all things "totally sweet".
51 Booby Prize Five-Star Newsblasters September 1, 2010
Graham weighs in on Medal of Honor and Jeremy investigates breasts. Inbreastigates?
50 Still Gaming Phlegm News Raiders August 25, 2010
Before your next LAN or all-night raid, you'd better be prepared.
49 Work Your Assets Soggy Rapportuers August 18, 2010
Graham talks Pokemon and Ryan Quickbender has a lesson for the ladies.
48 Blizzard Warning Enriched Fortified For +50% August 11, 2010
ENN delves into the darkness behind everyone's favorite studio.
47 Global Warning Adequate Consumate Professionals August 4, 2010
High pressure is causing problems in the development environment.
46 Kinect the Dots Paragon Would You Like To Know More? July 28, 2010
Graham gives The Governator a headshot and Paul shows how Microsoft and Sony are lying.
45 All in the Cards Ursine Presentational Zoologists July 21, 2010
ComicCon gets picketed, GameStop whines and a gaming entrepreneur shows us his new take on a card game... "classic".
44 Minced Words: Blizzard's Real ID Tubular Dimensional Anchors July 14, 2010
If we lose online anonymity, untold hate speech may be lost.
43 GearGasm 5: The Perspectiving Wobbley Agency... Agents? July 7, 2010
See it - with your eyeballs.
42 Snobcon 2010 Lifelike News Mistress June 30, 2010
A special report on a convention you've never heard of, square.
41 E3 2010 Recap Gyroscopic Epic Knitters June 23, 2010
Paul and his panel of experts gives us the lowdown on the ups and downs of E3 2010.
40 E3 News Bytes - 6/18/2010 N/A E3-Onauts June 18, 2010
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
39 E3 News Bytes - 6/17/2010 N/A Def Jam Rapstars June 17, 2010
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
38 E3 News Bytes - 6/16/2010 N/A VPs of Kevin Butler June 16, 2010
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
37 E3 News Bytes - 6/15/2010 N/A Kinectimals June 15, 2010
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format.
36 Resident Evil Romance Pointy Omega Protocols June 9, 2010
This week, ENN attempts to get to the bottom of the apparent success of videogame novelizations.
35 Skate and Die! Ephemeral Totally Persians June 2, 2010
An author of great conviction warns parents of the danger inherent in skateboarding games.
34 Who the Hell are You? ALL CAPS Urine Technicians May 26, 2010
A look behind the scenes of a game translation service.
33 Atari's Gambit Tactile Splinter Cells May 19, 2010
Atari takes us back, to the future of gaming.
32 Speaking Without Words Copious Still Coffee-less May 12, 2010
A special report on the voice actors of N64 games.
31 Quickbender Must Die Kitch Toadstools May 5, 2010
The ENN office receives a mystery package.
30 Splinter Cell: Cunvicshun Drywall Rebels With Cause April 28, 2010
The team covers all the controversy and confusion surrounding Splinter Cell: Conviction.
29 Viral Outbreak Meow? Demon Hunters April 21, 2010
A viral game is killing the social life of millions. Are you at risk?
28 Peace Walker Promo Backspin Synergists April 14, 2010
Sonic fanboys reach a crisis point.
27 Money Shot Meringue S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S. April 7, 2010
This week, a special edition of GearGasm, and the Nintendo 3DS stomps on minorities.
26 Special Edition Thromboid (It's A Sinus Infection Now) March 31, 2010
Games with special editions harbor a dark secret.
25 Games for Pets Sniffly (Yes, Graham Has A Cold) March 24, 2010
Surprising new developments are being made in the field of gaming for our furred friends.
24 The Future of Storage Media Funsize Pulse L'Cie March 17, 2010
A very interesting installment of GearGasm introduces a 300GB optical disc.
23 Dishonorable Discharge Cromulent Kickin' It Old School March 10, 2010
A hard-hitting report on the recent layoffs at Infinity Ward.
22 Quick's Picks Bunnies! Quick-Time Events March 3, 2010
Quick's Picks responds to a viewer email about a misunderstanding with Dante's Inferno.
21 RPG Elements Alpine Renegade Paragons February 24, 2010
ENN investigates the disappearance of RPG elements from gaming.
20 EA's Corporate Vision On Track Submerged Olympic Slackers February 17, 2010
Good news, EA continues to lose money, but at a slower rate.
19 Black & Blue Streak Triglycerides Citizens of Rapture February 10, 2010
The latest Sonic game puts up warning flags for concerned citizens.
18 Natal Scandal Low-sodium Rocketeers February 3, 2010
Project Natal's Milo gets a little too real.
17 iPhonomenon Haptic Assassins (Shhh!) January 27, 2010
The iPhone becomes the next big thing in portable gaming.
16 On Punctuation Anodized Umbra Witches January 20, 2010
Yahtzee gives us the spill on his new book, as Final Fantasy XIII tours America.
15 A Few Good Gamers Rampant Resistance Fighters January 13, 2010
LG brings motion control to television, and America's Army becomes the front line of video game recruitment technology.
14 The Future of Sex Spreadable Blood Mages January 6, 2010
Square-Enix announces a revolutionary new battle system, and and unrepresented market for sex in games finally comes to light.
13 Year in Review 2009 Frothy Reindeer enthusiasts December 16, 2009
Sony reveals a new motion controller, and a panel of experts debate the top game of the year.
12 Counter-Active Gaming Soluble Double Agents December 9, 2009
A new fitness game for the Wii stirs controversy, and Pandemic announces free nude DLC for Saboteur.
11 Guild Chat Indeed Kung Fu Fighters December 2, 2009
Graham interviews members of The Guild.
10 Pictodicks Octopimp Vampire Hunters November 25, 2009
A special investigative report about an inappropriate game you never knew about.
9 Sorcerers Demand Equal Rites Tepid Tag Team Champions November 18, 2009
Global Agenda's "No Elves" campaign causes quite a stir in the elven community.
8 Economic Weather Report Corrosive Vault Dwellers November 11, 2009
Jimmy Buffet announces a Margaritaville game, as the economic climate shifts into the red.
7 New Dante's Inferno Marketing Tactic Turgid Genome Soldiers November 4, 2009
EA's marketing campaign for Dante's Inferno reaches a new level.
6 ROJO Bipedal Let me show you ma Anchormans October 28, 2009
EA's marketing campaign for Dante's Inferno reaches a new level.
5 Uber HD Sideways Talkypeople October 21, 2009
This week, Brütal Legend, Bubble Bobble Boy and a special report on the future of HD technology.
4 I C U Wii Pre-post-modern Anchors Aweigh October 14, 2009
This week, Brütal Legend, Bubble Bobble Boy and a special report on the future of HD technology.
3 Lost Leaders Vestigial Anchors Aweigh October 7, 2009
The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch." This week, the console war reaches a new low.
2 The Next Rock Band Bootylicious Anchorpeoples September 30, 2009
The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch," covering everything from Chinese WoW service to an upcoming Rock Band title.
1 Nerd Flu Toasty Anchormans September 23, 2009
The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch," with exclusive coverage of a horrible pandemic - nerd flu.

Notes

Contents
Format
List of Episodes
Notes
See Also
External Links
  • Unlike Unskippable, ENN did not originate from the Escapist Film Festival.
  • The ENN crew occasionally post rejected ENN stories on the blog. These are stories which didn't get in to the week's episode because they were extra, (usually) not due to low quality. This is now a feature on the Escapist Publisher's Club.

See Also

External Links

Retrieved from "https://wiki.loadingreadyrun.com/index.php?title=Escapist_News_Network&oldid=27997"