The Panalysts Ep34 - Garbage Fountain or Fire Bag

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This week our Panalysts debate the most efficient method of killing the last living transformer, and how to get the most mileage out of a curse.

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The Panalysts Ep34 - Garbage Fountain or Fire Bag.jpg

Date: January 24, 2019

Category: The Panalysts

Host: Kathleen De Vere

Cohosts: Brendan "Beej" Dery, Ian Horner, Coriander Dickinson, Jacob Burgess

Editing: Kathleen De Vere


  • Your dear Aunt Uefomia is in excellent health and high spirits. However as she is getting on in years, she has called you up to talk about estate planning. Uefomia may not have a lot of liquid assets, but she is keen collector of things and you can choose one thing from her vast and improbable collection of treasures that are currently mouldering in her basement. Do you choose: A genuine antique personal zeplin suitable for some amount of day-to-day travel as long as there are currently no law prohibiting it because who has a zeplin in 2019, or a magical loot crate that will never empty and in fact must be emptied daily?
    • Beej and Ian: Loot crate
      • 10 points for trying to find a use for all of that tat.
    • Cori and Jacob: Zeplin
      • 10 points for dreaming a big dream about killing the last Transformer.
  • While she was disguised as a Starbucks barista, you were rude to Titania, Queen of the Fae, and as punishment you are going to transformed into the helpful, or maybe not so helpful, spirit of a common household object. What do you choose to inhabit so you can inflict pain on others as pain has been inflicted upon you?
    • Beej and Ian: A Jaccard and a cast iron skillet
      • 10 points because Kathleen also likes a good steak and likes the idea of drinking red wine reduction.
    • Cori and Jacob: Monopoly set
      • 10 points because Kathleen "fucking hates Monopoly" and this is a good reason to never play it.
  • Lighting tiebreaker: Worst gift that you could possibly give.
    • Beej and Ian: A sizable gift card to Spirit Halloween.
      • 0 points
    • Cori and Jacob: Bad Handjob
      • 0 points

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