Qwerpline Ep37 - Oceana Rising

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Nsburg Statistics

S2E11 Titlecard

Date: October 27, 2019

Category: Qwerpline

Appearing: Graham Stark, Alex Steacy, Kathleen De Vere, Brendan "Beej" Dery, Ian Horner

Edited by: Kathleen De Vere, Coriander Dickinson

Graphics: Graham Stark

Illustrations: Featherweight

Description: QWRP brings you an update on the weather, we look at the newest fitness craze zapping into Nsburg, and Derek talks to some... enactors.

Runtime: 16:55

Slogan: Aww Heck.

  • That was somewhat of a vanity slogan from then tourism director Sidney Heckenpaw, beloved gadabout and village inebriant.

Sponsor: Therpston County Worst-pun Mountie This Canadian ex-patriot has given up horse-back policing and is telling terrible jokes down at the Nsburg Esplanade. Therpston County Worst-pun Mountie, for an overflowing bad-joke bounty.

News

  • Come on down to the Civic Center for Nsburg Cat-fest: hours of amusement for your four-legged feline friends.
    • A reminder you are required to actually pick your cat back up, this is not an easy out to humanely dispose of an unwanted pet. That's the Chuffield pet swap next month.
  • This Saturday is the Nsburg volunteer orchestras annual bring your own laser show.
    • Featuring an all-new arrangement of Brian Fernyhoff's String Quartet Number Six for Piano and Timpani, the show will offer an impressive and completely un-choreographed laser show.

Weather

Sadie is back from a stay-cation in Jewelsburg while the RV was getting new tires. While she was there she saw some interesting sights, including:

  • 3 vegan restaurants right next to each other.
    • They have added Vega to the vacation location list.
    • They didn't try the food as Lenny has a really delicate stomach after they came back from Milan Betar.
  • A huge beautiful brand-new sign for their town slogan.
    • Was being dedicated.
    • Says "Jewelsburg: thankfully not Nsburg".
  • First-run movies.
  • Gelato.
  • An architecture tour.
    • Of an old asbestos factory.
    • That has been turned into condominiums.

The weather in Jewelsburg will just gorgeous. Lots of sun, a little bit of cloud, nice breeze. Truly lovely. The weather in Nsburg will be: Monday, rainy; Tuesday, rainy; Wednesday, rainy; Thursday, rainy; Friday, rainy; Saturday, rainy; Sunday, rainy. It's very consistent.

Her next trip will be driving to the Principality of Sealand.

In The Studio

In the studio is Jessica Alverez, head trainer of Electro-Fit. They motivate you to get fit by passing electrical currents through the floor. They have taken over the old hot yoga warehouse, and lined all floors with wires so you can come in and go anywhere and just do your thing. As long as your thing is getting a lot electrocuted. Including the toilets, so using them is not recommended. The soft launch that was at 1:10 yesterday and hard launches at 2:20 today. It is unclear if those are times or voltages.

Breaking News

There's a massive electrical fire at the old hot yoga warehouse.

Traffic

Richter has launcher Traffic Plus. For $13 a month you can get:

  • Information on what and where traffic is happening in your area.
  • Same-day delivery
    • except animals, it's a legal thing with himself)
  • Streaming video on channel 13.
  • Ride-sharing.
  • Cloud co-hosting
    • He's got some extra cycles on the Acer laptop running the streaming services
    • He can co-host on your program as an announcer, I'm going to do that while I'm up here, in the clouds.

Live on Location

Derek is at the Thurpston County Aviation Museum to interview James Jonathan Local Leader of the Civil Wars Pre-enactors Society. They play out the great battles of the Civil Wars yet to come. Today is the Battle of Chuff in the war of Oceana against Eurasia. All combat takes place on the astral realm. Derek is drafted onto the Eurasian side.

Coming Up

  • It's mild fire season out on the Chumble Ploodplains.
  • Darren von Spront is going to show us this season's designer line of funky lab coats.
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