Qwerpline Ep20 - Dog Balls

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The Pipesmen have a new--if similar--plan, Richter is despondant, and Derek is on location at the Dog's Ball.

Vital Statisics

Ep. 20 Titlecard

Date: January 25, 2017

Category: Qwerpline

Appearing: Graham Stark, Alex Steacy, Kathleen De Vere, Brendan "Beej" Dery, Ian Horner

Editing: Graham Stark

Graphics: Graham Stark

Illustrations: Featherweight

Description: The secret pipesmen want to inform listeners of their new culvert water taxi service, Richter has found love, Derek excitedly attends the police dog's ball.

Runtime: 11:05

Slogan: "It's all happening, all at once!"

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The Harvest Festival constitutional congress attempted to overthrow Harvest Queen Agatha. This involved a traditional protest of dumping a truckload of folger's coffee into the fountain. There is still a large volume of "coffee" remaining.

The Nsburg elementary school is raising funds for their school trip, a cross country skiing trip through central Europe.

Let's Go to the Phones

An interview with Bertha Burpwinter about the history of Nsburg's cellars is interrupted by a call in from the secret pipesmen, Richard Therpston III and Ralph. This prompts Alex to leave and go to Michael O'Leary's closest rather than deal with them. The pipesmen inform Graham that they've converted the culvert grid in sump acres into a water taxi service to get around the traffic problems, though it seems to really be another ploy to convince the people of Nsburg to get them a train. Graham explains that they are unlikely to get one due to the limited range of the grid and the services high number of casualties.


Richter claims he has found love, though he refuses to say who she is, and expresses this by quoting the lyrics of love songs. Alex and Graham attempt to get some traffic information by asking about how traffic would affect Richter either driving to his love's house or getting something delivered. To which they get an answer that is technically a report on Nsburg traffic, resulting in Graham losing to Edith in the QWRP traffic betting pool.

Live on location

Derek is very excited and happy to attend the police dog's ball as he really likes dogs, but (for obvious reasons) his dad won't let him have them at home. Derek describes the dogs dressed in tuxedos and gowns that have been trained to dance with each other, the selection of food, the cleanliness, smell and also speaks of his love of dog balls, completely oblivious to his constant double entendres which leave Graham and Alex speechless.

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