Qwerpline Ep11 - Contract & Release
With Alex having to recuse himself from the show because the Pipesmen are campaigning for his impeachment, Edith Slump takes over as co-host in an arts-focused episode featuring the Tugger Nutts book series. Richter has a panic attack, and Derek interviews the Pipesmen to find out what, exactly, is their problem with Alex.
Date: February 18, 2016
Editing and Graphics: Graham Stark
Illustrations: Devin "Featherweight" Harrigan
Description: The Secret Pipesmen are trying to take Alex to task, and Graham needs backup in the studio. Richter is fine though... broadly speaking.
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- Bulletin from the Nsburg PD: Members of the Sigma Theta Naka Sorority and Dojo are cutting a bloody rampage through Raster Heights on their annual January pillow fight; Residents are advised that if you're holding a pillow, you are considered fair game. Edith reminisces fondly about her own days in Sigma Theta Naka, although she's still annoyed they wouldn't let her use her buckwheat pillow.
- The boys and girls of the Nsburg High Rocketry Club are holding a kerosene drive to fuel and decontaminate their new surplus V-2 rocket. If you have any kerosene left over after your in-home Fourth Quarter tree-lighting ceremony, bring it on down. Graham wonders where they got the V-2; Edith suggests either Germany or England.
It's the Arts
- With the impending release of the newest entry in the Tugger Nutts children's book series, Tugger Nutts Goes Down Under, Edith reports on the Novel Hovel's plans for a midnight release party. There will be kids in costume and themed snacks, including "Tugger Nutts Nut Balls" and "Deep Dip," made by the Ladies' Presbyterian Auxiliary. The Novel Hovel also has 30% off on all other books in the series by Antoine Graffito, including:
- In-stock books:
- Let's Go Tugger Nutts!
- Keep it Down, Tugger Nutts!
- Let's Find Sally and Tugger Nutts!
- Tugger Nutts Goes Off Half-Cocked
- Tugger Nutts and the Big Finish
- Tugger Nutts Goes Round the Horn
- Tugger Nutts and the Mysterious Stranger
- Tugger Nutts Blows It (Overstocked)
- Tugger Nuts Gets in Deep
- Out-of-stock books:
- Hit the Back Door, Tugger Nutts!
- Tugger Nutts at the Spit Roast
- Tugger Nutts and the Bareback Riders of Chalk Island
- Tugger Nutts and the Midnight Snatch
- Contest Prizes:
- Tugger Nutts and the Pearly Orchid
- UK Translation of Tugger Nutts Wrestles the One-Eyed Champ
- Tugger Nutts and the Pearly Orchid
Richter's having an unusual panic attack that results in him deciding to exit the Qwopter and continue to fly it while standing on the runners. Edith tries to calm him down, but Richter admonishes her not to get hysterical, then signs off before either Edith or Graham can get any actual traffic out of him. Edith sets a Google news alert for "helicopter crash."
Derek the Intern sits down with the Pipesmen's representatives, Richard Therpston III and Ralph from the Geological Society, for an interview about why the Pipesmen are calling for Alex's impeachment. Dick Therpston is sick of explaining it, so he leaves it up to Ralph. Apparently the Pipesmen have been trying to bring light rail to Therpston County for 18 years, although they haven't told anyone about it because they're a secret society. Every time Therpston County has an election, Pipesmen all cast write-in votes for "a train" as a protest. However, in the election following the death of Richard Therpston, those votes were counted as being for "A-Train," aka Alex, helping him win the position. Ralph therefore argues that all votes for "A-Train" should be counted for their light rail project instead, meaning Alex is not really the aldersm'n and the Pipesmen get their train. Edith points out that when she wrote in "A-Train," she did actually mean to vote for Alex. Big G-Money tells the "pipefriends" that since nobody knew about the train (because it's a secret!), all the "A-Train" votes were, legitimately, cast for Alex, and the Pipesmen should calm down and try lobbying Alex instead. The Pipesmen accept this idea and Dick Therpston starts planning to make Alex a full member of their society.
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