Qwerpline Ep01 - Pot Hole Mystery

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The first episode of Qwerpline! The most popular radio show on QWRP FM from scenic nsburg, Qwerpline is full of curious characters and local interests.

Vital Statisics

Ep. 01 Titlecard

Date: August 30, 2015

Appearing: Graham Stark, Alex Steacy, Kathleen De Vere, Brendan "Beej" Dery, Ian Horner

Editing and Graphics: Graham Stark

Illustrations: Devin "Featherweight" Harrigan

Music: Bradley Rains (www.bradleyrains.com)

Runtime: 13:26

Nsburg Slogan

"Home of the Tigers!"

First introduced in 1965 when the tigers were unveiled at the Nsburg Municipal Zoo. The tigers were returned to their owner in 1997 but the slogan is still used to this day.

Synopsis

All of the Highway 3 potholes, a local heritage site, have gone missing. Summer Intern Derek was sent to investigate but due to the humidity and his resulting case of swamp-eye he was only able to see 30 feet in front of him. Officer Steve of the Nsburg PD vows to pursue the case and asks vigilant Nsburgians to report any new, or old, holes directly to the department.

Also, all of the raccoons have been cleaned out of the communal pool.

Weather

Seven days of sunshine and extreme humidity (except for Friday. Friday was cancelled).

It's the Arts

New movies opening this week at the Nsburg Megaplex:

  • Paul Blart 2: Mall Guy
  • Furious 7
  • Avengers: Age of Voltron
  • Get Hard
  • Jackin' It (Local Film)

Let's Go to the Phones

Ball Hinkley, local East Sumpacres organic perfumer, describes his creations.

Ball's perfumes include:

  • Vanilla Muskrat
  • Cap Gun
  • Wet Wool
  • Dust Finger
  • Mixed-up Ladder (?)
  • The Creep (?)
  • Ray Romano

Sponsors

  • Joss Ross' Boss Moss Floss

Delicious candy floss made from all natural sphagnum moss! It's Joss Ross' Boss Moss Floss: Try it with Sauce!

Joss Ross' Boss Moss Floss


  • Jack Plank's Sauna-Smoked Pork

Sauna smoked pork; it melts on your fork.

Jack Plank's Sauna-Smoked Pork


  • Raymond's Talc Barn

No Rash too Moist! Just off Highway 3 past the farm with the weird looking cow.

Raymond's Talc Barn

Trivia

  • While generally refereed to as Episode 01 in Youtube and this wiki, the title card in the the pothole mystery http://www.youtube.com/ video (00:16s - 00:41s) is numbered as Ep00 in the video footage as well as in the https://archive.org/ Archives. However, according to an episode of LLRcast the "00" title belongs to the non-canonical Desert Bus for Hope proto-Qwerpline skit/challenge.
  • Summer Intern Derek was in the Nsburg Scouts and earned his Pothole Badge by going down to Highway 3 and counting the wheels that flew off of cars.
  • Celebrities are given keys to specially dedicated potholes in Nsburg.
  • Earl's Bakery is right off of Highway 3 and has those doughnuts with the bacon on them.
  • Nsburg is a C market for movies, albeit a high C.
  • Nsburg is landlocked and has been since the 1870s.
  • A-Train's High School GPA was below a C.
  • A-Train spent four winters doing roadwork.

Dramatis Personae

  • Announcer - Beej
  • Big G-Money - Graham
  • A-Train - Alex
  • Sadie Casperson - Kathleen
  • Derek - Beej
  • Officer Steve - Ian
  • Edith Slump - Kathleen
  • Richter Hammockslam - Ian
  • Ball Hinkley - Beej
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