Jangles and Jones Save Christmas Transcript

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Transcript for Jangles and Jones Save Christmas


{Panning shot of Story Guy's bookshelf. Overlay: "Jangles and Jones Save Christmas"}

Story Guy: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
With hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

{We see three stockings hanging by the chimney, each with a name sewn on it; JP, G*, and Ice Tray. Ice Tray's stocking is the longest}

64K was nestled all snug in their bed
While visions of phat beats danced through their heads.

{We see 64K asleep in one big bed, cuddling their respective dolls. G*Star has a Creepy Doll, Ice Tray has what I think is a black duck, and I don't know what JP's got but it looks pink. We see clips of 1337 in their dreams}

And Jangles with his afro and Jones with his 'stache
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.

{Jangles and Jones stretch and yawn as they prepare for sleep. Jones turns off the lights with a clap and they pull the covers up and fall asleep}

When up from downstairs there arose such a clatter

{We hear a small clatter which quickly turns into a series of crashing and breaking. Jangles and Jones sit up in their bed and turns the lights back on}

They rolled out of bed to see what was the matter.

{They quickly jump out of bed and grab their guns, Jones' from under his pillow and Jangles' from out of his afro. Then they hurry downstairs}

As they drew out their guns and were sneaking around,
In from the kitchen he came with a bound.

{As they jump with a start, a figure stumbles into the room with a pot stuck on his head. Then he pulls off the pot and turns to Jangles and Jones. I'd describe him but I'll leave it to Story Guy}

He was dressed all in black, with a hat on his head
And the sight of him filled our heroes with dread.

He stopped as he saw them, and stood there and blinked
And they knew in a flash it was the Head of Evil Inc.

"This would have been better if you'd stayed in bed,
And clean up your kitchen!" the evil man said.

"Give us one reason," said Jones with a frown,
Why Jangles and I shouldn't take you downtown."

"I'll do you one better!" the villain proclaimed
As he pulled out his cellphone and gun which he aimed.

{The Head pulls out a cellphone which he points out and a lightgun which he puts next to his ear. Then he quickly switches hands round}

"I have on the end of this phone in my hand
The subject of Phase 1 of my master plan."

"Who's that, ya creep?" Jangles yelled with distress.
The villain just laughed, "It's more fun if you guess.

"His eyes they twinkle, his dimples how merry,
His cheeks are like rose, his nose like a cherry."

{Jangles and Jones swap baffled looks and shrug}

"His droll little mouth is drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin is as white as the snow.

"He has a broad face and a round little belly
That shakes when he laughs, like a bowlful of jelly."

"Madonna?" "The Tooth Fairy?" The villain laughed. "Almost."
"King Wenceslas?" "Achilles?" "Edward James Olmos?"

"No! He's jolly and plump, a right jolly old elf
And I laugh when I see him in spite of myself."

"Edward James Olmos?" said Jones after a pause.
"No, you fools, I've kidnapped Santa Claus!"

"But who will bring gifts to the good girls and boys?"
"That's the idea," he said with great joy.

"Now everyone will know what I felt all these years.
No one will get presents, the children in tears!

"Without Santa Claus and his bag of good cheer,
No one will be happy! There'll be no Christmas this year!"

"You don't get it, do you? Sure, presents are fun,
But you won't stop Christmas, you haven't won.

"It's more than just presents, there's eggnog and cake,
Turkey and stuffing." You've made a mistake."

"But I love eggnog and turkey and stuffing...
Just kidding, you guys. You got me, I'm bluffing.

"I wouldn't do that. Me and Santa, we're cool.
Excuse me one moment. Release him, you fool!"

{Scene fades into living room where Jangles, Jones and the Head are hanging out with Jer, Morgan, Bill and Pat}

And with that the villain and our heroes most weary
Had a great feast and became much more cheery.

As the villain tucked into the festive buffet,
It was said that his stomach grew three sizes that day.

And after the food, everyone sat around
Listening to 64K's dope new Xmas sounds.

{The Christmas Rap happens}

And the rappers exclaimed as they dropped the mike,
"Happy Christmas to all, it'll all be a'ight!"

{The scene freezes as Jangles and Jones clink their mugs then fades to Story Guy in his library, holding a book in his hands}

Story Guy: It'll all be a'ight. {closes the book} Merry Christmas!

{The Thought Police from the last video suddenly barge into the room}

Story Guy: Wha-? Who are you- {gets punched in the stomach} OOF!

{As Story Guy gets dragged out, one of the Police hangs back}

Thought Police (Paul): Hey, turn that camera off! {covers the camera with his hand}