Features We Won’t Wii-Use

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Satoru Iwata and Reggie Fils-Aime bore us to tears with peripheral Wii U features.

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Date: November 12, 2012

Written and Performed by: Graham Stark, Kathleen De Vere, Paul Saunders

Story Graphics: Paul Saunders

CheckPoint Graphics: Graham Stark

Boom!: Kate Stark

Editing: Kathleen De Vere

Music: Bradley Rains

Produced by: Graham Stark, Paul Saunders


Satoru Iwata manages to make the mildly interesting look boring.


  • Kathleen is excited and confused by her new Nike FuelBand.
  • EA is donating in-game advertising in its sports games to the Movember Foundation.
  • Capcom will no longer be outsourcing its game development.
  • If you play enough Halo 4 in November, you'll get Microsoft Points.
  • A former GameStop exec has admitted to embezzling.
  • Nintendo released a video explaining the Wii U's video chat feature. It's awkward.

Coming Up

Peter Molyneux's Curiosity came out, and early users quickly discovered what was in the cube: network connection failures!

◀ ●∙∙∙ The Price of Progress       Eternal Lawsuit ∙∙∙● ▶

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