Escapist News Network
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Created By: Graham Stark, Kathleen De Vere, Jeremy Petter, Paul Saunders |
Status: Discontinued |
Updates: Wednesdays |
Host: The Escapist |
Original Run: September 23, 2009 - February 13, 2011 |
Associated Shows: CheckPoint (successor), Feed Dump (successor) |
The Escapist News Network (commonly abbreviated as ENN), is a show on The Escapist created by a few members of the Loading Ready Run Crew. It is in the style of a news broadcast (á la CNN) reporting on both truthful and fictional stories. The show is heavily influenced by the Canadian comedy series This Hour Has 22 Minutes.
As of February 13, 2011 ENN was discontinued and was eventually replaced by two successor series, the first being CheckPoint, which premiered on PATV on May 9, 2011, and the second being Feed Dump, which premiered on The Escapist on May 25, 2011.
Format
In general, the show follows a fixed format in every episode.
- First, the intro plays; this consists of theme music and an animation which mockingly mimic those of major news networks. Several words appear during the animation: Reliable, Trustworthy, Resplendent, Logarithmic, and one additional word. This is known as the accent word, and changes every week. See the List of ENN Accent Words.
- After the intro, the camera cuts to the anchor desk, with dimmed lights, as Graham and Kathleen set up a joke in casual conversation. This is the first part of the so-called after-lights gag. The lights then turn on, and the anchors face the camera and introduce themselves. The lower third displays their job description gag, which also changes every week.
- Approximately the first half of the show consists of between four and seven news stories, reported alternately be Graham and Kathleen. The first sentence or part is almost always true; this is followed by 'merciless joking' for the rest of the story. In addition, each story features a corner image (usually created by Jer) and one or more lower third jokes, and may include an extra video segment.
- Most of the rest of the video is taken up by the Feature Story. Whichever anchor's turn it is will introduce the story, then pass it to a field reporter (usually Jer) or pre-recorded video segment. Feature Stories are always at least mostly false, and usually completely so, even if they are loosely based in fact.
- Finally, the anchors will end the episode with their parting line or lines. While the credits roll, the studio lights dim, and the after-lights gag is concluded as Graham and Kathleen finish their conversation from where it was left off.
List of Episodes
Contents |
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Format |
List of Episodes |
Notes |
See Also |
External Links |
# | Title | Accent Word | Job Description | Date |
67 | The Newsroom: Dead Dragon Distance | N/A | N/A | February 2, 2011 |
Your mom may hate Dead Space 2, but maybe she'll like this! Or not. | ||||
66 | Inside the Newsroom | N/A | N/A | January 19, 2011 |
Kathleen, Graham, Paul and Jeremy take you behind the magic. It's less magical. | ||||
65 | Predictions | Sundry | Resolute Anchors | January 5, 2011 |
Ryan Quickbender places his bets, Graham and Kathleen talk Madden. | ||||
64 | ENN Awards 2010 | Jolly | Anchs, Yo | December 22, 2010 |
Some games didn't suck this year. I know, right? | ||||
63 | Not Games But Movies | Got Pig? | Team Neat | December 8, 2010 |
Movie-based game or game-based movie. Either way, we lose. | ||||
62 | Stresstris | Bi-Weekly | Returning Champions | November 24, 2010 |
Scientists are using Tetris to perform science. | ||||
61 | Rejeweled | Harmless | Weekend Warriors | November 10, 2010 |
Iterating Bejeweled isn't as bad as releasing Dragon's Lair again. | ||||
60 | Nintendonts | Akurate | Also With 60% Less Hendersons | November 3, 2010 |
Whether it's Mario's anniversary, or their own losses, Nintendo seem out of touch with reality. | ||||
59 | More Room to Grow | Serrated | Demon Hunters (and Interviewers) | October 27, 2010 |
Paul delves deeper into Kinect's space needs and Graham goes off about Minecraft. | ||||
58 | The EA Louse & Friends | Huggable | Wasteland Correspondents | October 20, 2010 |
If EA would not keep on hiring anonymous bloggers they wouldn't have these problems. | ||||
57 | Room to Grow | Alive | Subspace Anchors | October 13, 2010 |
Paul investigates the space requirements of Kinect. | ||||
56 | Sony's Crazy Marketing | Lithe | Rare News Mobs | October 6, 2010 |
Paul and Jeremy get to the bright red bottom of Sony's crazy marketing decisions. | ||||
55 | Kathleen's Book Club | Finite | Not Boats Abandoned In Some Backyard (followed by "Too Obscure?") | September 29, 2010 |
Kathleen presents the complete nutjobs of gaming, and looks at a hot new game book. | ||||
54 | West Washing | Lobsterly | Rhyme With Bankers | September 22, 2010 |
When Eastern developers make their games appeal to "The West", everyone loses. | ||||
53 | XBox Platinum | Matronly | Double-Toy Pickup | September 15, 2010 |
Finally you can play in peace. Or not. Your choice. | ||||
52 | Got to Catch Them All | Pneumatic | Ignoble Team | September 8, 2010 |
Jeremy interviews a holy order for all things "totally sweet". | ||||
51 | Booby Prize | Five-Star | Newsblasters | September 1, 2010 |
Graham weighs in on Medal of Honor and Jeremy investigates breasts. Inbreastigates? | ||||
50 | Still Gaming | Phlegm | News Raiders | August 25, 2010 |
Before your next LAN or all-night raid, you'd better be prepared. | ||||
49 | Work Your Assets | Soggy | Rapportuers | August 18, 2010 |
Graham talks Pokemon and Ryan Quickbender has a lesson for the ladies. | ||||
48 | Blizzard Warning | Enriched | Fortified For +50% | August 11, 2010 |
ENN delves into the darkness behind everyone's favorite studio. | ||||
47 | Global Warning | Adequate | Consumate Professionals | August 4, 2010 |
High pressure is causing problems in the development environment. | ||||
46 | Kinect the Dots | Paragon | Would You Like To Know More? | July 28, 2010 |
Graham gives The Governator a headshot and Paul shows how Microsoft and Sony are lying. | ||||
45 | All in the Cards | Ursine | Presentational Zoologists | July 21, 2010 |
ComicCon gets picketed, GameStop whines and a gaming entrepreneur shows us his new take on a card game... "classic". | ||||
44 | Minced Words: Blizzard's Real ID | Tubular | Dimensional Anchors | July 14, 2010 |
If we lose online anonymity, untold hate speech may be lost. | ||||
43 | GearGasm 5: The Perspectiving | Wobbley | Agency... Agents? | July 7, 2010 |
See it - with your eyeballs. | ||||
42 | Snobcon 2010 | Lifelike | News Mistress | June 30, 2010 |
A special report on a convention you've never heard of, square. | ||||
41 | E3 2010 Recap | Gyroscopic | Epic Knitters | June 23, 2010 |
Paul and his panel of experts gives us the lowdown on the ups and downs of E3 2010. | ||||
40 | E3 News Bytes - 6/18/2010 | N/A | E3-Onauts | June 18, 2010 |
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format. | ||||
39 | E3 News Bytes - 6/17/2010 | N/A | Def Jam Rapstars | June 17, 2010 |
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format. | ||||
38 | E3 News Bytes - 6/16/2010 | N/A | VPs of Kevin Butler | June 16, 2010 |
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format. | ||||
37 | E3 News Bytes - 6/15/2010 | N/A | Kinectimals | June 15, 2010 |
ENN presents: E3 Bytes - covering all the latest in E3 2010 news, in a convenient "watchable" format. | ||||
36 | Resident Evil Romance | Pointy | Omega Protocols | June 9, 2010 |
This week, ENN attempts to get to the bottom of the apparent success of videogame novelizations. | ||||
35 | Skate and Die! | Ephemeral | Totally Persians | June 2, 2010 |
An author of great conviction warns parents of the danger inherent in skateboarding games. | ||||
34 | Who the Hell are You? | ALL CAPS | Urine Technicians | May 26, 2010 |
A look behind the scenes of a game translation service. | ||||
33 | Atari's Gambit | Tactile | Splinter Cells | May 19, 2010 |
Atari takes us back, to the future of gaming. | ||||
32 | Speaking Without Words | Copious | Still Coffee-less | May 12, 2010 |
A special report on the voice actors of N64 games. | ||||
31 | Quickbender Must Die | Kitch | Toadstools | May 5, 2010 |
The ENN office receives a mystery package. | ||||
30 | Splinter Cell: Cunvicshun | Drywall | Rebels With Cause | April 28, 2010 |
The team covers all the controversy and confusion surrounding Splinter Cell: Conviction. | ||||
29 | Viral Outbreak | Meow? | Demon Hunters | April 21, 2010 |
A viral game is killing the social life of millions. Are you at risk? | ||||
28 | Peace Walker Promo | Backspin | Synergists | April 14, 2010 |
Sonic fanboys reach a crisis point. | ||||
27 | Money Shot | Meringue | S.T.A.L.K.E.R.S. | April 7, 2010 |
This week, a special edition of GearGasm, and the Nintendo 3DS stomps on minorities. | ||||
26 | Special Edition | Thromboid | (It's A Sinus Infection Now) | March 31, 2010 |
Games with special editions harbor a dark secret. | ||||
25 | Games for Pets | Sniffly | (Yes, Graham Has A Cold) | March 24, 2010 |
Surprising new developments are being made in the field of gaming for our furred friends. | ||||
24 | The Future of Storage Media | Funsize | Pulse L'Cie | March 17, 2010 |
A very interesting installment of GearGasm introduces a 300GB optical disc. | ||||
23 | Dishonorable Discharge | Cromulent | Kickin' It Old School | March 10, 2010 |
A hard-hitting report on the recent layoffs at Infinity Ward. | ||||
22 | Quick's Picks | Bunnies! | Quick-Time Events | March 3, 2010 |
Quick's Picks responds to a viewer email about a misunderstanding with Dante's Inferno. | ||||
21 | RPG Elements | Alpine | Renegade Paragons | February 24, 2010 |
ENN investigates the disappearance of RPG elements from gaming. | ||||
20 | EA's Corporate Vision On Track | Submerged | Olympic Slackers | February 17, 2010 |
Good news, EA continues to lose money, but at a slower rate. | ||||
19 | Black & Blue Streak | Triglycerides | Citizens of Rapture | February 10, 2010 |
The latest Sonic game puts up warning flags for concerned citizens. | ||||
18 | Natal Scandal | Low-sodium | Rocketeers | February 3, 2010 |
Project Natal's Milo gets a little too real. | ||||
17 | iPhonomenon | Haptic | Assassins (Shhh!) | January 27, 2010 |
The iPhone becomes the next big thing in portable gaming. | ||||
16 | On Punctuation | Anodized | Umbra Witches | January 20, 2010 |
Yahtzee gives us the spill on his new book, as Final Fantasy XIII tours America. | ||||
15 | A Few Good Gamers | Rampant | Resistance Fighters | January 13, 2010 |
LG brings motion control to television, and America's Army becomes the front line of video game recruitment technology. | ||||
14 | The Future of Sex | Spreadable | Blood Mages | January 6, 2010 |
Square-Enix announces a revolutionary new battle system, and and unrepresented market for sex in games finally comes to light. | ||||
13 | Year in Review 2009 | Frothy | Reindeer enthusiasts | December 16, 2009 |
Sony reveals a new motion controller, and a panel of experts debate the top game of the year. | ||||
12 | Counter-Active Gaming | Soluble | Double Agents | December 9, 2009 |
A new fitness game for the Wii stirs controversy, and Pandemic announces free nude DLC for Saboteur. | ||||
11 | Guild Chat | Indeed | Kung Fu Fighters | December 2, 2009 |
Graham interviews members of The Guild. | ||||
10 | Pictodicks | Octopimp | Vampire Hunters | November 25, 2009 |
A special investigative report about an inappropriate game you never knew about. | ||||
9 | Sorcerers Demand Equal Rites | Tepid | Tag Team Champions | November 18, 2009 |
Global Agenda's "No Elves" campaign causes quite a stir in the elven community. | ||||
8 | Economic Weather Report | Corrosive | Vault Dwellers | November 11, 2009 |
Jimmy Buffet announces a Margaritaville game, as the economic climate shifts into the red. | ||||
7 | New Dante's Inferno Marketing Tactic | Turgid | Genome Soldiers | November 4, 2009 |
Scientists perfect the robot game journalist. Turns out, it wasn't that hard. . | ||||
6 | ROJO | Bipedal | Let me show you ma Anchormans | October 28, 2009 |
EA's marketing campaign for Dante's Inferno reaches a new level. | ||||
5 | Uber HD | Sideways | Talkypeople | October 21, 2009 |
This week, Brütal Legend, Bubble Bobble Boy and a special report on the future of HD technology. | ||||
4 | I C U Wii | Pre-post-modern | Anchors Aweigh | October 14, 2009 |
This week, a Spore movie, and a Japanese reality show brings embarrassment to Wii owners. . | ||||
3 | Lost Leaders | Vestigial | Anchors Aweigh | October 7, 2009 |
The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch." This week, the console war reaches a new low. | ||||
2 | The Next Rock Band | Bootylicious | Anchorpeoples | September 30, 2009 |
The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch," covering everything from Chinese WoW service to an upcoming Rock Band title. | ||||
1 | Nerd Flu | Toasty | Anchormans | September 23, 2009 |
The Escapist presents, ENN, "news you can watch," with exclusive coverage of a horrible pandemic - nerd flu. |
Notes
Contents |
---|
Format |
List of Episodes |
Notes |
See Also |
External Links |
- Unlike Unskippable, ENN did not originate from the Escapist Film Festival.
- The ENN crew occasionally post rejected ENN stories on the blog. These are stories which didn't get in to the week's episode because they were extra, (usually) not due to low quality. This is now a feature on the Escapist Publisher's Club.
See Also
- Recurring ENN Characters
- Action 9, LRR's other fictitious news agency
- CheckPoint, the spiritual successor to ENN