CheckPoint 334 - Time to Settle Down

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Stories on: Assassin's Creed: Odyssey, Just Dance, the GTA3 Beta, and Hbomberguy's Charity stream for Mermaids Charity.

Vital Statistics

Checkpoint 334 - Time to Settle Down.jpg

Date: January 21, 2019

Written and Performed by: Brendan "Beej" Dery, Kathleen De Vere, Paul Saunders

Story Graphics: Paul Saunders

CheckPoint Graphics: Graham Stark, mangledPixel

Music: Bradley Rains

Produced by: Graham Stark, Paul Saunders

Today

Ready to settle down and have a kid in Assassin's Creed: Odyssey? No? Tough, you’re doing it anyway.

Stories

  • Players of the latest Assassin's Creed: Odyssey DLC, Shadow Heritage, got a nasty shock when the game essentially rail-roaded them into settling down and having a family with a fellow assassin. A player can reject literally every advance made by the NPC in question and they will still end up making kissey faces until the stalk shows up. Even more galling is that the game ignores the sexuality choices the player has made so far.
  • Screen Gems, a Sony Pictures subdivision, has successfully purchased the film rights to Just Dance.
  • Ever get nostalgic for GTA3? Not the game you actually played, just the beta version you maybe saw advertised? Good news! A very dedicated team of modders are recreating the island of Portland from GTA3 using old code and unused game assets to make a version of GTA3 that was never actually released.
  • Hbomberguy, real name Harry Brewis, has just wrapped up his Donkey Kong 64 gaming marathon stream, and met his goal of raising US$3000 for Mermaids, a trans charity for children based in the United Kingdom. Then he blew past that and raised US$340,000 total, also pledging to include Twitch bits and subs made during his fund-raiser. This doesn't surprise us here at CheckPoint. Brewis started his fund-raiser as a pointed "fuck you" to well known comedy writer Graham Linehan, who has been pushing to get Mermaids defunded by National Lottery. And if there's something CheckPoint knows well, it's how well you can appeal to people's sense of empathy and good-will by also harnessing the power of spite.

Coming Up

Rejoice vanilla Minecraft players, you can now compost unwanted organic material and turn them into bonemeal.

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